Chances that trying DMT once could worsen the symptoms

[JohnArcheus]

Hello!
So, I have taken LSD and shrooms about like 50 times in my life and never had any issues, until in 2019 the cops caught me with weed plants and sent me to a rehab center for 2 whole years where they put an evil psychiatrist lady to drug me with all kinds of pharmacy prescription medications for no serious reason, only cuz it was so horrible in there that I wanted to die... Anyways

So for 3 years I was for no reason taking the antipsychotic drug Solian at the maximum dose which is 1200mg a day and my brain had gotten used to being calm and slow. So after I got back my rights, I left this crazy psychiatrist lady and went to a new professional psychiatrist who found me completely normal and started reducing my medications and eventually quit them from me.

I anyways thought that the antipsychotic medication had weakened my brain, kept it frozen and made me think less, and I thought that by taking some shrooms I would reactivate it and I would start thinking fast again. So the mistake was, 10 of September 2021 I took my last 50mg pill of Solian, and September 30 2021 I ate a bit more than 5g's of dried cubensis, which is a heroic dose of shrooms and more than I've ever had before, and also combined it with some THC, and so I've been stuck on a light shroom trip since... It probably happened cuz my brain was still adjusting and getting used to working without an antipsychotic drug, and I suddenly flooded it with a psychotic drug...

Last year the first 3 months after the trip l was completely wrecked psychologically as I was having a lot of paranoia and anxiety and some minor scary delusional thoughts, along with the moving objects, patterns and colors, intense smells and bright lights accompanied by paranoia, and it was causing me depression as well... So I went to a hospital in Serbia and did ibogaine, which helped a lot to manage my emotions and to not feel scared and anxious anymore, made my paranoid thoughts less and no more having delusional thoughts unless I get super wrecked on high doses of THC, helped with the intense smells and bright lights which I don't get anymore, but didn't really help with the minor psychedelic hallucinations I still see sometimes, like patterns and colors and moving objects, but I honestly don't mind these at all... I honestly even enjoy them sometimes. And I mostly only get them when I get really high on THC anyways...

Honestly, it's even been some weeks now that I'm starting to feel like I'm getting cured from HPPD overall and I'll be a lot better soon. I'm getting better each day!

Anyways, I never got to try DMT in my life, because I could never find it, even though I was looking for it a lot. I always wanted to try DMT, always. And when I was young I was really influenced to do DMT by watching the Spirit Molecule documentary, also that funny meme made me be like "damn, if LSD is nothing compared to that, I gotta try it fosho", I still have that meme after so many years, will attach it here, so yeah... But not only these, years ago I had made huge research on DMT and was super interested to try it if I ever found it... And now I have...

I meditate sometimes with a meditation teacher and I have CEVs and feelings of bliss and as if I'm going to higher realms of consciousness, and it's overall really nice, I love meditating, and I'm also curious if DMT would put me in a deeper and higher meditative state... And anyways, I'm only looking to try it once in my life out of curiosity.

So my question is, will doing a small dose of DMT only 1 time possibly bring back my paranoia and anxiety and worsen my symptoms of HPPD overall? And what are the chances of that happening if I only do it 1 time? What are the chances that one DMT experience will make my situation worse? What are the chances..? Please be honest... I don't like the idea of spending my life and dying without having tried DMT ever not even once... Not having seen how it's like, I was always curious...
Thank you fam! Peace, much love

[cosmiccharlie]

Hello, 

     It's impossible to quantify risk of such a situation.  I will say that it seems HPPD is a disorder that is cumulative (depends upon entire drug history) and from experience, once your brain has been in a state of HPPD it is possible for single doses or events to cause a resurgence of symptoms.  For me, meditation has been the medicine to help me cope with my symptoms which will likely never go away.  I have found myself in similar states of mind to psychedelics through meditation which last much longer and pose zero risk to my mental health.  I was once where you are now, weighing the risk of further exploring psychedelics after having contracted the condition.  One thing that seems to be certain, things can always get worse.  That being said, we all must ask ourselves what we are willing to give up and perhaps a more difficult question, why are we willing to take such gambles in the first place?  I have found that the answers I was looking for through drugs were right in front of me the entire time, all I had to do was wake up, be in the moment and experience the beauty of life.  

Send me a message if you'd like to chat on WhatsApp. 

Take Care,

Nick 

[Jay1]

Yea, as Nick said, it's really impossible for anyone to say (if someone says you will definitely be safe, or definitely make you worse, they are lying).

I have tried DMT, Salvia, Ketamine and a few other drugs since getting HPPD and they all made my symptoms worse (I got to a point where thought i'd hit the wall of what HPPD can be, man was I proved wrong!).

On a side note, I don't think DMT is the pinnacle of pyschs. It's intense, no doubt about it, but i'm not sure it brings any more insight. If you ever had ego loss and the whole at one with the universe trip on lsd, DMT is not gonna take you to any new level of insights. So if you feel like you need to do DMT just to check it off a list, then it's probably not worth the potentially huge risk you are taking.

[JohnArcheus]

Thanks a lot broda I really appreciate your answer. Life really is beautiful, I honestly don't know exactly what I'm looking for with DMT, for all I know it could ruin this beauty of life completely, it could make me think that life is a lie or something like that and overall bring back the horrible symptoms of HPPD worse... I guess I was just only curious for so many years to have that feeling of dying and being born, along with all the beautiful psychedelic hallucinations you see... But I don't know if it's worth the risk... I'm perfect where I am right now... I'll have to think about it more and get my doctor's opinion as well for sure. Lately DMT is being promoted by celebrities and some scientists as something that could benefit the entire race, and it's also very loved by it's users, I rarely find someone's bad experience with DMT, but as you said, since I already had HPPD triggered on me, even though I have become a lot better now, it could relapse my mental health... So I'll have to think about it more and decide, but I think I won't do it.. Though it would be better if I just did it now and got it over with than if I did it say in 25 years from now when I'm older...

[JohnArcheus]

Thanks for your answer as well broda, yeah since you say that every time you took a psychedelic again it worsened your situation each time, it kinda alerts me to not do it... And yeah, I have gone to a really deep state of psychedelia once on a combination of LSD and a 1 gram dab, and honestly I don't think anything can be more intense and crazy than that... I don't think I'd earn anything positive out of the DMT, honestly, the only thing that would happen is that it would fill my curiosity...

[Fawkinchit]

You could most absolutely make your current condition worse. Its astonishing to me that you are still using drugs. Please stop smoking weed or doing any other drugs.

I know a guy that had light or mild HPPD, very mild, and tried a drug only once, and now he has terrible HPPD.

[Jay1]

On 11/12/2022 at 10:35 AM, JohnArcheus said:

Thanks a lot broda I really appreciate your answer. Life really is beautiful, I honestly don't know exactly what I'm looking for with DMT, for all I know it could ruin this beauty of life completely, it could make me think that life is a lie or something like that and overall bring back the horrible symptoms of HPPD worse... I guess I was just only curious for so many years to have that feeling of dying and being born, along with all the beautiful psychedelic hallucinations you see... But I don't know if it's worth the risk... I'm perfect where I am right now... I'll have to think about it more and get my doctor's opinion as well for sure. Lately DMT is being promoted by celebrities and some scientists as something that could benefit the entire race, and it's also very loved by it's users, I rarely find someone's bad experience with DMT, but as you said, since I already had HPPD triggered on me, even though I have become a lot better now, it could relapse my mental health... So I'll have to think about it more and decide, but I think I won't do it.. Though it would be better if I just did it now and got it over with than if I did it say in 25 years from now when I'm older...

You sound like you are in a very good place. It really should answer your own question. 

When we talk about russian roulette on here... It's a pretty accurate analogy. One trip can end your life as you know it, not physically, but mentally (which is arguably worse). 

[SenyVinter]

I can relate. I've been through some heavy stuff myself. But let's focus on the positive: you're getting better and curious about trying DMT.

[Hppd1973]

In September 1973 I did DMT and the next day LSD.

I woke up the following day still feeling spaced out, not a lot, but enough so I knew I wasn't "down" all the way. Trails continued, small flashes of light off to the sides etc. It's been 49 years and although somewhat better, I still have HPPD and all the anxiety, depression, foggy head etc that comes with it. If you think DMT is worth 49yrs, go for it. You already have HPPD, right? So you want to risk prolonging it or worsening the symptoms?