Hello!
So, I have taken LSD and shrooms about like 50 times in my life and never had any issues, until in 2019 the cops caught me with weed plants and sent me to a rehab center for 2 whole years where they put an evil psychiatrist lady to drug me with all kinds of pharmacy prescription medications for no serious reason, only cuz it was so horrible in there that I wanted to die... Anyways
So for 3 years I was for no reason taking the antipsychotic drug Solian at the maximum dose which is 1200mg a day and my brain had gotten used to being calm and slow. So after I got back my rights, I left this crazy psychiatrist lady and went to a new professional psychiatrist who found me completely normal and started reducing my medications and eventually quit them from me.
I anyways thought that the antipsychotic medication had weakened my brain, kept it frozen and made me think less, and I thought that by taking some shrooms I would reactivate it and I would start thinking fast again. So the mistake was, 10 of September 2021 I took my last 50mg pill of Solian, and September 30 2021 I ate a bit more than 5g's of dried cubensis, which is a heroic dose of shrooms and more than I've ever had before, and also combined it with some THC, and so I've been stuck on a light shroom trip since... It probably happened cuz my brain was still adjusting and getting used to working without an antipsychotic drug, and I suddenly flooded it with a psychotic drug...
Last year the first 3 months after the trip l was completely wrecked psychologically as I was having a lot of paranoia and anxiety and some minor scary delusional thoughts, along with the moving objects, patterns and colors, intense smells and bright lights accompanied by paranoia, and it was causing me depression as well... So I went to a hospital in Serbia and did ibogaine, which helped a lot to manage my emotions and to not feel scared and anxious anymore, made my paranoid thoughts less and no more having delusional thoughts unless I get super wrecked on high doses of THC, helped with the intense smells and bright lights which I don't get anymore, but didn't really help with the minor psychedelic hallucinations I still see sometimes, like patterns and colors and moving objects, but I honestly don't mind these at all... I honestly even enjoy them sometimes. And I mostly only get them when I get really high on THC anyways...
Honestly, it's even been some weeks now that I'm starting to feel like I'm getting cured from HPPD overall and I'll be a lot better soon. I'm getting better each day!
Anyways, I never got to try DMT in my life, because I could never find it, even though I was looking for it a lot. I always wanted to try DMT, always. And when I was young I was really influenced to do DMT by watching the Spirit Molecule documentary, also that funny meme made me be like "damn, if LSD is nothing compared to that, I gotta try it fosho", I still have that meme after so many years, will attach it here, so yeah... But not only these, years ago I had made huge research on DMT and was super interested to try it if I ever found it... And now I have...
I meditate sometimes with a meditation teacher and I have CEVs and feelings of bliss and as if I'm going to higher realms of consciousness, and it's overall really nice, I love meditating, and I'm also curious if DMT would put me in a deeper and higher meditative state... And anyways, I'm only looking to try it once in my life out of curiosity.
So my question is, will doing a small dose of DMT only 1 time possibly bring back my paranoia and anxiety and worsen my symptoms of HPPD overall? And what are the chances of that happening if I only do it 1 time? What are the chances that one DMT experience will make my situation worse? What are the chances..? Please be honest... I don't like the idea of spending my life and dying without having tried DMT ever not even once... Not having seen how it's like, I was always curious...
Thank you fam! Peace, much love