2muchmandy Posted March 19, 2012 Author Report Share Posted March 19, 2012 i dont really care about them tbh, they can be killed with downers and alcohol. the depression, im a manic depressive iv been like that my life so it doesnt bother me, visuals need to go, and they are thankfull. it may sound dickish to say but i feel hard done by. iv only taken hard drugs about 10 months, tripped no more than 8 times, used mandy sensibly, was depressed but had no other disorders and now i get hppd. some people have taken acid 300 odd times, had loads of mental issues, they dont deserve hppd thats horrid to say noone does. but surely thats justifyable, mine, not soo much Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alice-acid Posted March 19, 2012 Report Share Posted March 19, 2012 same, infact i too tripped exactly 8 times o.O tbf tho it was more than 10 months, it was like 2 years, but still not exactly a lifetime Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2muchmandy Posted March 19, 2012 Author Report Share Posted March 19, 2012 its absolute balls man. aslong as i can go back to having a beer again il be fine and cut my losses. suppose iv got extra $$$ for my car Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gmo Posted March 19, 2012 Report Share Posted March 19, 2012 same, infact i too tripped exactly 8 times o.O tbf tho it was more than 10 months, it was like 2 years, but still not exactly a lifetime what symptoms do you experience?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TomNorman Posted March 19, 2012 Report Share Posted March 19, 2012 Hey 2muchmandy, yeah I feel exactly the same as you do! Even on a work night it's shit not being able to have a couple of beers or a little smoke. I had the same situ as you...only had 18 months of smoking weed and about 10 months of class A's - again not that much - and I have hppd. I used to drink load with hppd but now it really f**ks up the symptoms the next day. I went tee total for 2 and a bit years with no improvement so now just drink a couple of pints every few months to stop my self going mad! If you want some adive from some who had this since 17 - now 26 - it would be to go out with mates and just leave when they all start talking shit(!), normallly about 1am! And also defo keep going out raving. I cut my self out the scene for years whilst I was tee toatlling, massive misktake. Just love the music and leave early. Feels good the next day anyway not being hung over. Cheers man Tom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2muchmandy Posted March 19, 2012 Author Report Share Posted March 19, 2012 so if i go out and get hammered the next day will suck but there wont be permanant damage done? i hope to athiesm this goes away soon, i thought id be fine seen as i didnt take loads before getting it but if u didnt and have had it 9 years, that aint promising man. i think il give it another month or so off the booze and then experiment and see how it effects me, as u say i cant be missing out on my youthful life because of this shit. thanks for the advice Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jay1 Posted March 19, 2012 Report Share Posted March 19, 2012 If you are made of firmer stuff than me... what you could do is drink some pints until you feel the buzz and relaxed... then move onto soft drinks for a while (tell you mates you are on vodka & orange, if they give you shit)... then just have to odd beer to top yourself up, then back on the juice. I've done it a few times, and the hangover really stays at a minimum (less drink, plus more fluids and vit C). Have 1 paracetamol and a banana before bed, and a bottle of water by the side.... You should be good. Either that, or get twatted then blast a benzo in the morning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alice-acid Posted March 19, 2012 Report Share Posted March 19, 2012 yh gettin twatted followed by a benzo is good for me atm im 18 and at college what does any1 expect haha, and like i said get worried about missin out etc or even gettin fairly twatted with afew benzo and you end up gettin incredibly pissed off not that many beers, as its a combo ive been usin for years to have to spend less on beers XD plus the hangover is never as bad coz uve not even drank much and gmo my symptoms are negative afterimages, visual snow, acid like visuals (patterns raising up the wigglin round etc) but thats only really on the worst days (ie terribly hungover), CEVs, anxiety (often leadin to full blown panic attacks) insomnia from the anxiety, trails sometimes, starbursts, patterns on flat surfaces... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2muchmandy Posted March 20, 2012 Author Report Share Posted March 20, 2012 my mates understand jay, it took them a while but theyv finally realised its not a game im playing so theyd probably be happy to see me have 2 pints then stop. far from my past days of laying waste to 16 stellas in a night. i need to get on this benzo ting, everyones like yeah do whatever u want just make sure u have a benzo the day after. the acid/2cb like patterns are what frighten me, theyv gone unless i get tired. but the other day i was considering whats been happening and what ibv been seeing the past 2 weeks and i thought FUUCK. like seriously, i spent 3 solid days trying to ignore 2cb like patterns, weeks tripping with visual snow and extreme paranoia...how the hell am i still sane. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gmo Posted March 20, 2012 Report Share Posted March 20, 2012 @alice-acid.....and your trips were all spread out over like 2 years right??? That sucks, it doesn't seem like you were over using or anything. Did you have a bad trip?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jay1 Posted March 20, 2012 Report Share Posted March 20, 2012 everyones like yeah do whatever u want just make sure u have a benzo the day after. Just be very, very strong willed... If you go down that route. It's decent, but it is no get out of jail card.... You will still feel like shit, and it might be covering up alot of shit that is affecting your hppd. I went over a decade without that magic bullet, so when I found it, I treated it with alot of respect. I think you should try some more time without it... Get used to what your body can and can't take. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2muchmandy Posted March 21, 2012 Author Report Share Posted March 21, 2012 Alright, I think il abstain longer then. I feel no need for meds atal. I get paranoid sometimes over stupid shit. I worry if il go insane or if il be cured. But then I just think im lucky im not dead with the drugs iv taken I probably should be, then I just think about biking or my cars and I feel ok. Hopefully I can remain benzoless. I feel a bit more secure knowing they are there as a safety net if the paranoia etc got worse Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jay1 Posted March 21, 2012 Report Share Posted March 21, 2012 From my experience, the paranoia is one of the 1st things to disapear, once you stop the drugs. Just keep your head down and concentrate on the things you love doing, like the cars and bikes and those thoughts will start to go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jay1 Posted March 21, 2012 Report Share Posted March 21, 2012 btw - I think this member is also from Aberdeen - http://hppdonline.com/index.php?/user/17-joon/ Not sure if it would help for you guys to meet and have someone there to chat to, if shit gets bad. I've chatted with him on msn and seems like a decent lad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alice-acid Posted March 21, 2012 Report Share Posted March 21, 2012 yeah over 2 years it does really suck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gmo Posted March 21, 2012 Report Share Posted March 21, 2012 That's a shame. Maybe it does have a lot to do with a genetic predisposition to this whole ordeal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2muchmandy Posted March 21, 2012 Author Report Share Posted March 21, 2012 dont think hes been active for a fair while jay i think it is genetic or atleast biological. do u guys get like, geometric patterns n shit in ur visual snow now and again? thats the bit that prangs me out Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alice-acid Posted March 22, 2012 Report Share Posted March 22, 2012 yeah and sometimes in text! if you know what i mean? like the spaces between the words form shapes in long paragraphs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2muchmandy Posted March 22, 2012 Author Report Share Posted March 22, 2012 so its not just me then. sometimes my patterns are coloured aswell and its just like being on 2cb. frightens the living shit outta me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jay1 Posted March 22, 2012 Report Share Posted March 22, 2012 yea, plenty of geometric shapes.... much like when I used to push hard on my eyes, when I were a kid. Since I stupidly did salvia a couple of years ago... the shapes have become much more pronounced. I have two distinct field of view now... real life and the acid world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2muchmandy Posted March 22, 2012 Author Report Share Posted March 22, 2012 fuck that. i smoked salvia and nothing happened. wasnt impressed. i was worried incase the shapes were just me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Still_here Posted March 23, 2012 Report Share Posted March 23, 2012 Man I went to the most bad arsde D'n'B gig of my life post HPPD. PHAT, I went to all the PHAT's but it was the last one PHAT 11 thats was by far the best (mint weather) I just got fucked up on opiates, and piss the whole time. TBH I get narly hang over post HPPD, but something about waking up in a rain forest valley and hearing the D'n'B bouncing off the hill speeded my recovery, then getting back up to the main stage (the music ran non stop for four days) getting some more piss in me, some morphine to dull the headache and fuck yes back into it. I paid mind you, dearly, I spent the next several weeks with my anxiety/hypochondria off the charts, freeking out about having damaged my hearing, and panicking about tinnitus. But...My visuals didn't get any worse, and I had no HPPD related anxiety. And to be honest, it was the best four days of my life (my wife gets pissed at me for saying this as I have two kids, and a wedding day to compare it to). Last year we had, Black Sun Empire, Andy C, Cammo and Krooked, Evil Intent, and a shitload of others I was too messed up to remember. Then there were all the EPIC local acts, one of the best would have to have been Truth...Check it out Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2muchmandy Posted March 23, 2012 Author Report Share Posted March 23, 2012 man how the fuck havnt i heard of this festival!!! i love black sun empire dam that sounds like it was absolute junglists heaven! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Still_here Posted March 23, 2012 Report Share Posted March 23, 2012 It's in NZ sorry bro. Last one was gutting cause we all knew it was the year they were going bankrupt, kinda one final hurrah! It was AWEOME though. Like in a place called Inangahua in the west coast of the south island of New Zealand, it doesnt get more remote than this (4 hours drive to the nearest city) deep in the heart of the rain forest. It was hard with HPPD because there were A LOT of drugs, but thats all good. Yeah greatest place on earth, no worries, just hard chore D'n'B/Dub for 4 days non stop! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2muchmandy Posted March 24, 2012 Author Report Share Posted March 24, 2012 it really sounds like 100% junglist heaven man. so fucking cool. im tempted to go to innovation in the sun Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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