Dancetrooper Posted February 10, 2012 Report Share Posted February 10, 2012 This post has been promoted to an article Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jay1 Posted February 10, 2012 Report Share Posted February 10, 2012 I think you are taking hppd way, way too lightly. This is not some cool little side effect.... It is ruining alot of people's lives. I'm not sure if you are asking for advice or just want to talk drugs? If you want advice... then I will be blunt. You have pre/mild hppd.... It might seem like fun, but if you carry on with your drug experiments, you may be looking at years and years of heartache, mental anguish and lost happiness. We have people who have killed themselves, drunk themselves to death and are addicted to strong medications, just because of hppd. This is a serious illness. If you want to chat drugs.... Stay away from lsd, mushrooms, mdma, pyscedelics... anything that affects serotonin. Coke doesn't do much for me either, I can sleep no probs. Speed is like caffine, just lots of it... no good feelings... worst drug in the world. I know you are enjoying life right now, I love drugs too.... but I can no longer smoke 1 bit of weed anymore because of hppd... If you want to carry on enjoying drugs, slow down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Still_here Posted February 10, 2012 Report Share Posted February 10, 2012 Seriously? You're going to come on to a site where people talk about how their lives have been ruined by this and brag? Speed and Meth never made me really hyper, just uber relaxed and positive, although some of the shit I've heard people talk on speed is incredible, I had one chick talk through the night, I fell asleep and when I woke up she was still talking to me! I miss drugs each and every day. Theres times I've concidered an MDMA roll, since I miss it so much. But HPPD is a fucking bitch and as it seems its never going to leave me I dont want to make it worse. If you carry on you will ruin your life. Imagine going to a job interview tripping off your face, imagine standing at the altar of your wedding with crazy arse LSD visuals everywhere, imagine dealing with horribly stressful situations while fucked up out of your brain (like a car crash). All of these situations Ive been in. HPPD will inevitably be the undoing of my life. And yet you sit here and brag about how fun it is? How you love it? Even despite that I'm pissed I wouldnt even wish for your symptoms to get worse. HPPD is a bitch mate, the sooner you learn that, the better. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dancetrooper Posted February 10, 2012 Author Report Share Posted February 10, 2012 I imagined thos all, i thought about 2 weeks on it i was crying 2 days, but at the end i just had luck and all went how it is now, of all things ive taken, nothing was worse than this fucking half ticket. don´t want to let LSD standing good, damn, it´s fucking bad and youre risking yourself with it,so dont take it....you know i just looked into the mirror on my opium re trip, that was the meaningfllest moment in my life, i will never forget it, my face doubled to a side and was moving, .....i even wasnt able anymore to look myself into my face, ..just thought: look how youre ending in the last year....think about if you even cant see yourself normally....it just let me know how it would be...anyways it went the next day and i was the happyest guy on this world, i will delete the mephydron and C2..but im young and stupid i m goingb to ty the flexx, then ive taken all i wanted....so yeah end of the story is : I will make my lat flexx trip, then i will consume only weed, (as mentioned im taking it since 2 years now, i think its the most addictive drug ..besides crack ..uhh) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jay1 Posted February 10, 2012 Report Share Posted February 10, 2012 Good choice I've not heard of Flexx, but if it is like cocaine, at least it is not hallucinogenic. hope your hppd goes away and you can live a happy life Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rrab Posted February 10, 2012 Report Share Posted February 10, 2012 From my experience even if its not a hallucinogen it can still make your hppd worse. My hppd started a little like yours. It wasn't too bad but it dose take months for it to fully kick in. I continued with drugs and it got a lot worse. That shit drug speed was my favourite after i had hppd. I cut down weed and cut out hallucinogens apart from some times MDMA. It made my visuals and DP/DR go off the chart. When i first started having hppd my visuals would also stop when I was on speed. After abusing my mind and body it no longer dose. All drugs are shit and have fucked up my life. I now look back on the last 4 and a half years and it all feels waisted. If your have MILD hppd would your want to experience BAD hppd? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gill Posted February 11, 2012 Report Share Posted February 11, 2012 My hppd was very mild after only a few experiences, then it got worse after taking more psychedelics, so don't ever say you weren't warned.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alice-acid Posted February 12, 2012 Report Share Posted February 12, 2012 gna have to agree with most ppl on here stop taking it so lightly or you will regret it, its mild now but more drug use will just aggravate it and to be honest it is hell. think about it carefully Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HBB Posted February 12, 2012 Report Share Posted February 12, 2012 I didn't read any of that shit you posted beyond the first 2 drugs you listed because: If you FUCK with hppd you risk having your fucking soul torn out of your body. There will no fucking smiley faces waiting for you. I would say this like a future psychologist, but you need to wake THE FUCK UP, so I say it how it is. Seriously, you have no idea the depth of hell you open yourself up to risking this. If you think HPPD is enjoyable, you do not have it. You have tasted a sugar pill thinking it is a bullet, and the next time you switch those two up it could be your brains blown out on the carpet, which is what I thought about doing every night for about two years when I had real HPPD, not this minor shit you've mistaken it for. Please, think. There are people on here who would probably grab you by the collar and scream their lungs out for you not to get this shit, to protect you from it, even knowing there is no hope for their own HPPD. I am one of those people. Knowing that, do what you want. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dancetrooper Posted February 12, 2012 Author Report Share Posted February 12, 2012 As said, nothing changed on it only the lsd fucked me up, my hppd didn´t got worse after taking those drugs, only lsd fucked me up ...yeah so just have token the flexx yesterday, all i can say it sucks hard, wasnt a good felling...but letting myself in knowing it can´t get worse is the best thing i can do....so for me it is... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jay1 Posted February 12, 2012 Report Share Posted February 12, 2012 but letting myself in knowing it can´t get worse is the best thing i can do....so for me it is... Maybe that is lost in translation.... but just because something didn't make things worse, does not mean it is now a "safe" drug to do, with regard to hppd. I did mdma loads of times, with no bad effect on my hppd.... but then after one time, it got much worse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alice-acid Posted February 12, 2012 Report Share Posted February 12, 2012 As said, nothing changed on it only the lsd fucked me up, my hppd didn´t got worse after taking those drugs, only lsd fucked me up ...yeah so just have token the flexx yesterday, all i can say it sucks hard, wasnt a good felling...but letting myself in knowing it can´t get worse is the best thing i can do....so for me it is... did you not read any of what any1 wrote? seriously if ur in really having any kind of fun 'experimenting' with this then you dont know vaguely how fucked up it really can get. if you carry on the way you are im sorry but ur a fucking idiot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
martifer Posted February 13, 2012 Report Share Posted February 13, 2012 my symptoms started EXACTLY like yours. drop all hard drugs and stick to alcohol and weed. at the very least dont fucking do MDMA, shrooms or acid ever again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dancetrooper Posted February 14, 2012 Author Report Share Posted February 14, 2012 Yeah just doing Martifer ...Only consuming weed, since 2 years now and like before this fucking list...so yeah just had all trips i wanted, finished the list now .....So i have to say : Writing this list was stupid....Doing that list even more....But seriously, those drugs just are too much...its too freakin hardcore, it´s impossible to stay stable if you take this shit....After all this shit ive taken i can say: It wasn´t worth.... i will have to live with this shit now for around 40 years, yeah hate me for saying that i like it sometimes, but believe me in around a half year ill get so sick of this shit....i know alice-acid, i shouldnt experiment with, but i had.... So a BIG NO , i won´t carry on like this, as mentioned the flexx was my last trip.... you know, i just wanted to make my expieriences....... Now thats what ive got from my expierinces, i think thats hard enough...but im just glad that i dont have an all-time HPPD, like waking up and whoooo.... Yeah say i´m an idiot, because i am And you know what?..I´m proud on it! Life still goes on, life still is good so i only can expect good from life.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
martifer Posted February 15, 2012 Report Share Posted February 15, 2012 hope you never develop bad hppd but watch out for weed too. i mean. even if you notice subtle changes - like anything - chances are, down the line, weed will fuck you. you've been warned. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dancetrooper Posted April 10, 2012 Author Report Share Posted April 10, 2012 So yeah after a while i just realized: I´m fucked up, seriously. It got worse now, i just wake up and have those white points all over flickering, its so fucking annoying. Also i´m noticing how it makes myself unstable, i just think all day about it. it´s eating me that i have HPPD, i just think all day about and i dont know how to stop that. Always when i want to avert, like playing Xbox, i can play it normally yeah, but those white points are flickering to it, and that always remembers me on my HPPD, and then i think on HPPD again. Its one infinite loop, i cant avoid thinking about it. Dont know what to do...I cant go to a doctor here because they will put me in a psychatries, thinking that im crazy and dangerous to others... Also i dont have anyone i can talk to, because they cant imagine which pressure it is for me. I just thought about to tell it my mother, but she will be so disappointed and i dont want to see her crying, so ill let her in believing everythings well. But i will have to say it one day to her, so when and how?...I just read the topic "Telling Parents", but it doesn´t fits to me... I just dont want to disapoint her.... I´ve been an idiot the last weeks, not realizing how it influences me...for first not but now it just fucks me up ... Also i dont want to use benzoides or any drugs calming the HPPD, i dont think that drugs will help against drugs.... So yeah thats it i think, like always sorry for my english, and have a nice day Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nepuinthesky Posted April 10, 2012 Report Share Posted April 10, 2012 Dont know what to do...I cant go to a doctor here because they will put me in a psychatries, thinking that im crazy and dangerous to others... thats my problem too. i think no german doctor knows about HPPD so i avoid neurologists as long as possible. All related ICD disorders are psychotic disorders: F16 Psychische und Verhaltensstörungen durch Halluzinogene: F16.5 Psychotische Störung F16.6 Amnestisches Syndrom F16.7 Restzustand und verzögert auftretende psychotische Störung F16.8 Sonstige psychische und Verhaltensstörungen F16.9 Nicht näher bezeichnete psychische und Verhaltensstörung And what we all know is that we arent psychotic. Try to get live your lifeso good and happy as possible and avoid neurologists, if you cant you should lie to them. i visted my "hausarzt" and ophthalmologist and told them about my visual desturbances so they does the normal checks and every thing was fine. I never mentioned my drug history. Both doesnt refer me to a neurologist so i doesnt have seen one yet. Avoid all drugs!!! Dont smoke weed, and drink ocassionally if you have to, i only drink nonalcoholic beer. It will get better or you will be able to cope with your visuals. Anxiety went in the first weeks in my case, dont know if i have DPDR because i was high for the last ten years so i dont know how it is to feel "normal". But if your comorbid diseases will overhelm you or your visuals doesnt stop to get worse you could travel to Aachen to Dr. Klaus Podoll he did he survey about Persistent Migraine Aura and also knows about HPPD so iam sure he wont put you in psychiatry. I would do so if i cant handle this alone but iam trying my best atm. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dancetrooper Posted April 11, 2012 Author Report Share Posted April 11, 2012 oh yeah, avoiding drugs was too late, i had a list of drugs id liked to take, just finished it, wasn´t the best idea of me :F I tryed to stop smoking weed* ( I´m also stoned since 4 years every day now, i´m kind of a "Broker" for weed, if anyone needs some i just take a little "Tax" for it so i dont have to pay my consume). * but if you only have friends wich smoke weed you can forget about that. Ist schwer hier vernünftige leute zu finden in Braunschweig ...did it got better to you by avoiding the drugs?....I just stopped after my drug-list and noticed then that i have a snowy-sight (before finishing it i hadn´t snowy-sight), maybe the result of the whole shit-list...god i was so stupid -.-.... I also have been at my Hausarzt, Dr. Schlei, just told her the history, instead saying i´m the one i said it was a friend, ...you should have seen her face, they really hate you here if you had contact to drugs... I don´t think i have anxiety or depersonalization, i´m just a little depressive that the HPPD hit me....Ich hab nur Halluzinationen, keine Charakteristische veränderung, die depression die ich grad hab kommen nicht vom LSD sondern von mir, weil ich halt noch nicht ganz darauf klar komme das es so lief ...How was your first year?....Did you noticed it got better or did you had to wait like 3 years to have clear results? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nepuinthesky Posted April 11, 2012 Report Share Posted April 11, 2012 ive got mild HPPD symptoms six years ago after my first salvia trip, ignored them and took every drug which i could get the symptoms stay stable. three years ago i stopped every drug except of weed,because some of my friends drove insane and i got frightened. ive only had mild symptoms afterwards like moving, breathing, everything looks like in a comic, CEVs maybe some other dont know atm. last yearafter three years of only smoking weed i had a stressful time. got a pneumonia and took some antibiotics. i drank alcohol smoked weed and took the fucking antibiotics. three days after my last pill my vision got snowy and afterimages occured. There a few other symptoms you can read at my post under the introduction area. Stop all drugs now and it could get better!! Afew moth after stopping weed my snow has got better i can see the color black again afterimages maybe got a little better. there are bad days but also good. maybe its hard because of your friends but if they dont understand its possible time to say goodbay^^ i did that three years ago because drugs were the center of my life, i loved them maybe iam still lovin them but i know i have to lead a life in our modern sociaty (Job, Family...) Go out and find a girl which doesnt use drugs. Freunde kommen und gehen, ein leben haste nur eins!! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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