MDMA after HPPD recovery?

[Leslie]

More or less, I was wondering what everyone thought about taking MDMA after recovering from

HPPD. If anyone has any of their own experiences as well that would be fantastic.

I'll give some background information to my HPPD to help you decide whether you think I could take MDMA again, and just in case anyone is interested in my HPPD journey.

I'm pretty sure my HPPD is primarily, if not exclusively weed related. My symptoms have been visual (visual snow, moving lines, and by far my biggest symptom was violent shaking of my peripheral vision), anxiety (largely caused by the vision symptoms), and small amounts of DP/DR.

My HPPD began in March 2015 and in the year prior to this I smoked weed a few times a week and took LSD, MDMA and 2CB a few times as well. However from December 2014 - February 2015 whenever I got too high I would experience the violent shaking of my peripheral vision for the duration of my high. In February I stopped taking drugs, and then in March the visual shaking began happening while I was sober. I then experienced all of the symptoms permanently. Hence I believe weed caused my HPPD because my symptoms began while I was high on weed.

Since getting HPPD I stopped all drugs use completely besides alcohol (which has little if any effect on my HPPD). The first few weeks were hell, constant panic attacks about my shaky vision. Over the next 3 months, until June, my symptoms became manageable but still very uncomfortable.

Since July I have no longer experienced the shaking of my peripheral vision whatsoever. I would say that I have been cured since around the beginning of October or mid-October. My DP/DR is completely gone. My peripheral vision no longer shakes. My only lingering symptoms are visual snow (which is dying down, I no longer get this every day and when I do it's very minor) and small amounts of anxiety, which I probably had before HPPD anyway. Straight lines still wiggle a little bit, but my symptoms are now essentially unnoticeable unless I focus on them, so I consider myself cured. I imagine that my symptoms will have gone entirely within a few months from now.

So, bearing all this in mind, does anyone have any thoughts on taking MDMA on a rare basis from now on? I have no intention to smoke weed or take psychedelics in the foreseeable future, but I'm desperate to take 200mg of MDMA this weekend. I have never reacted negatively to MDMA in the last and not have I ever had any open eye hallucinations on MDMA.

[TheGman6072]

Don't do it ! MDMA is one of the most HPPD causing drugs

[TheGman6072]

I made the mistake of taking it while having HPPD and I regret it a lot

[Leslie]

True, I understand that a lot of people cite MDMA as causing their HPPD. However I've never had HPPD symptoms arise from MDMA in the past. Last time I took it, in February, I reacted beautifully, so I'm tempted to think I should be okay with MDMA if I steer clear of weed...?

[Bugger]

Hey Les,

I got my HPPD (so minor it's nothing) from frequent ecstasy use - however it's important to note that these pills could have contained anything, from mdma to ketamine to all kinds of novel substances. So just be careful what you're taking.

My HPPD has only ever been minor visual symptoms with no dp/dr, I've been taking mdma and ket in very small doses infrequently with zero effect. Not everyone's the same though, and I do know I'm risking a lot to make my symptoms worse.

[Jay1]

No, no, no, no, no,no, no, no, no!!!!!!

 

MDMA sent me to hell.... My hppd from lsd was bearable, mdma is what turned it into a a 20+ year nightmare. I can't stress enough how much MDMA can worsen hppd.

 

Anyway, if you are cured... Why the hell would you want to play russian roulette again? Enjoy your life, go travelling, go to college, chase some hotties... 8 hours of fun for a potential lifetime of hell... deal or no deal?

[Leslie]

No, no, no, no, no,no, no, no, no!!!!!!

 

MDMA sent me to hell.... My hppd from lsd was bearable, mdma is what turned it into a a 20+ year nightmare. I can't stress enough how much MDMA can worsen hppd.

 

Anyway, if you are cured... Why the hell would you want to play russian roulette again? Enjoy your life, go travelling, go to college, chase some hotties... 8 hours of fun for a potential lifetime of hell... deal or no deal?

 

Cheers for the advice Jay.

 

I take it that you got HPPD from LSD, then took MDMA and that made your HPPD much worse. Had you taken MDMA at all before you got HPPD from the LSD? If so, had you reacted fine to it previously? Or was it your first time with MDMA when it worsened your HPPD?

[Jay1]

More or less, yea... I took mdma for a year after getting hppd from lsd and shrooms.... I didn;t think it was affecting me much as a I in a cycle of getting high, then coming down, then those 3-4 days of feeling a bit off (covering it with alcohol and weed)... Then getting high again. You start to believe those 3-4 off days are just part of the comedown and will go away once you stop partying, but they are actually hppd gettng worse and worse.

 

You might get lucky, you might not... What is an absolute fact is that you are susceptible to hppd, so the chances of getting lucky are slimmer than most, and from everything i've learnt from being on here (as well as my own experience, of course) is that MDMA induced hppd is pretty horrible. The potential trade offs are just not worth the high.

[Leslie]

More or less, yea... I took mdma for a year after getting hppd from lsd and shrooms.... I didn;t think it was affecting me much as a I in a cycle of getting high, then coming down, then those 3-4 days of feeling a bit off (covering it with alcohol and weed)... Then getting high again. You start to believe those 3-4 off days are just part of the comedown and will go away once you stop partying, but they are actually hppd gettng worse and worse.

 

You might get lucky, you might not... What is an absolute fact is that you are susceptible to hppd, so the chances of getting lucky are slimmer than most, and from everything i've learnt from being on here (as well as my own experience, of course) is that MDMA induced hppd is pretty horrible. The potential trade offs are just not worth the high.

Cheers for the information, I'll bear it in mind.

 

It's interesting that you say that MDMA induced hppd is pretty horrible, do you think it's different from LSD / weed / shroom induced HPPD? It's not a distinction I've every really noticed while researching HPPD.

[Jay1]

It might just be that people getting hppd with mdma in the mix are also bringing about more depression, paranoia etc.. I have always maintained that HPPD is more a collection of disorders than one disorder.

 

One thing I found interesting though.... When I had hppd from lsd/shrooms only.... My visuals had a distinct purple hue... The MDMA changed the colour hue to a blue.

 

When I have chatted to the long termers on here, 10+ years.... Those with lsd based hppd seem to be more at peace with their hppd, while those with lsd/mdma hppd seem to still be in hell... I really don't want to sound like I am saying anyone with lsd based hppd is not suffering... It is just something I have noticed in discussion with people over the years.

[Bugger]

Have you spoken to people who only got HPPD purely from mdma alone Jay?

[Jay1]

I don't know anyone who only did MDMA and got hppd, that I remember.. But I have chatted to people who pinpoint MDMA as the main culprit... And people who say MDMA sent their LSD based hppd into new levels.

[K.B.Fante]

Dude... why? Why would you even take the chance? What you have to realize, as Jay pointed out, is that you're susceptible to HPPD. This means anytime you take drugs you drastically increase your chances of getting full-blow HPPD (way worse than what you've had in the past) that you may never fully recover from. Jay said it best: Why risk a lifetime of misery for a few hours of fun? It's just not worth it, not in any universe that I live in, at least. Ultimately it's your choice, your life, but if I could ever offer someone advice that I deeply believe and wish they'd take to heart, it's that people with HPPD should never do drugs again. It's the most nearsighted, stubborn thing you could do, to put it bluntly.

 

You can have fun without drugs man, trust me.

 

Good luck.

[Bugger]

Hm. Funnily enough my HPPD came hands down to only MDMA abuse, although who knows what were in the pills. MDA is common where I'm from. Never done lsd or anything though.

The bad trip on what was unknowingly mephedrone also gave me slight bending lines when I looked at objects for a few weeks.

[Bugger]

Cheers Jay for the heads up though. My biggest scare of HPPD was how I got it without doing hallucinogens (unknowingly at least)

[Shawnito]

Hey man, your hppd journey sounded very similar to mine.

after initial symptoms of hppd i abstained from drug use for like 6 month. The symptoms are there but i am no longer bothered by it. So i stupidtly took drugs again and here is what happened to my visuals.

I smoked wax with my friend one day and within a following week after images from looking at bright light had gotten 5 times worse than before. For example, i was with my friend at the beach watching sunset and this big ass after images of sun appears everytime i looked around. When i gazed on my friend who were like ten feet away, I can hardly recognize which one of my friend is which because of fucking big shades follow whenever i looked around.

And mdma wise, what used to be just benign halo around street lights now have become streaks of lights everywhere. I didnt know what is it like to see starbursts of bright lights by others before mdma and now i see all the time.

Fortunately within a abstinence of drugs for like a couple month, it def subsided but still annoying as hell.

So its up to you if you are gonna take it but just like many others member on this forum i would advise you not to take it!