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What's the first thing you would do if you woke up HPPD Free?


pennyarcade
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If it just dissappeared? Probably freak out, think I am derealizing and worry my ass off for a while before finally forgetting that this world is now different then my current one. This is why I want my recovery to be a slow fade of symptoms, I can gradually get accustomed to my new, clearer, less mobile sorroundings one baby step at a time. It been three months and I have already honestly forgotten what "normal" vision is like, I can't stare at a wall and have it not move. I just just always assume it will. Normal I am guessing is not noticing the dreamy overlay, the afterimages, the illusion of movement, minimal ghosting, minimal starbursts. But how would I ever know if I ever returned to how my vision was before this. Recovery is not noticing I guess.

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This will sound soppy.... but i'd make sure my wife had the best day of her life (get your mind out of the gutter!), as she has never known me pre-hppd. I try my best to show her what I was like, but it is never fully possible. I'd love to just have a 100% happy, chilled day on the beach with her, nice meal and stuff.

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Stare at a blank white wall without it becoming covered in static, breathing, floating, morphing. Drive at night without squinting at the bright lights and halos/starburst around everything. Close my eyes to go to sleep without fractal pattern CEVs covered in static invading on my vision. Be in a dark room at night and be able to see from one wall to another while being able to distinguish where one object ends and another begins.

Words wouldn't even be able to express it

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right now I'd trade winning the lottery to have my normal vision back.

I try to spend 30 minutes every night reassociating what correct vision should be like to try and "re-train" my brain. I'll think of times when I was younger and associate songs to places in times and think about what I was seeing, how it looked etc. Not a cure, but it does bring some level of comfort.

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Shaolin, I know that feeling all to well. Feels like the time I have spent is meshed together, unseeable by some dark fog. Everything I have done since hppd I cannot remember or are not fully there like I had done it in a dream. It really fucks with your perception of time, and the formation of memories. I also feel like the memories I do recall get meshed with the emotions I was feeling at the time. Which is funny because when I feel those emotions they feel fake.

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The vaguely good news is that you can begin to enjoy life, even with hppd. I've said it a few times on the old board... after around 3-4 years I really started to live again, even with strong hppd.

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Party and scream in happiness! No seriously.. I have had HPPD for 5 years now and have got quite used to it, and I can hardly remember what "normal" vision looks like.. So I would probably have some kind of "HPPD withdrawal". Maybe I would have mixed feelings of euphoria and sorrow. But the euphoria would be the winner after a while!

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  • 3 weeks later...

"Party and scream in happiness! No seriously.. I have had HPPD for 5 years now and have got quite used to it, and I can hardly remember what "normal" vision looks like.. So I would probably have some kind of "HPPD withdrawal". Maybe I would have mixed feelings of euphoria and sorrow. But the euphoria would be the winner after a while!"

first id like to say hello all the old timers form the old board, its great to see some of these usernames again. but i quote the last post because in november it will be my fifth year with hppd, and I honestly can say it hardly phases me anymore. i have severe hppd, dp/dr, and anxiety/panick, etc you all know the schpeal. but trust me, especially those of you new to living in this, err lets say different mindstate, time WILL HEAL YOU. i hardly think about my visuals or any symptoms anymore, now I just live life and actually enjoy it. no longer do I worry about doing or not doing certain things because it may or may not fuck up my symptoms. and if i do every now n then do something that flares them up, I know what caused it and know it will subside. life DOES GO ON!

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Like this one. "fall in love with the world again", that happened to me when my symptoms went away.

I could hold a snowball in my hand just watching it melt and just appreciate the beauty of it. Looking at My friends and family totally normal, like being reborn again.

i would cry and go fall in love with the world again and laugh and cry some more :) i' m 19 and have this because my boyfriend dosed me, i don't deserve this. noone does.

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  • 1 month later...

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