Saber44

I get the same thing. Used to see grotesque faces all the time. Has mostly stopped (except for the occaisonal geometric shape) after ceasing drug use. On the other hand, hypnogagic hallucinations, couple with sleep paralysis and daytime fatigue are all symptoms of narcolepsy which I was (mis?)diagnosed with as a result of a sleep study. Yes, I am excessively tired and even exhausted at certain points during the day but I dont think I have narcolepsy.

Took the survey a few days ago. Not like you have anything to lose in doing so.

I did a sleep study and a nap study and was diagnosed with narcolepsy

Well. Like I said, I have been clean nearly 8 weeks now, but I would like to hear your stories anyways. And Gill yeah, I tried melatonin for awhile. I seemed to build a tolerance to it. before I gave up I was taking 10mg a night. I just got some chinese herbal medicine (Gui Pi Wan) and I am giving that a shot Shit sucks. I really miss the rave scene. MDMA is such a magical substance

Dropping by to give a quick update. Yesterday was 7 weeks clean. I thought at one point I might have seen a miniscule amount of improvement, but I think the medicine Im on (pramipexole) has made it worse. About a year and a half ago my doctor caught wind of an event that would have me labeled with "drug-seeking behavior" so I am unlikely to ever get any real help when I need it. I haven't been able to sleep properly for 5 months now and instead of giving me some sleeping medication or a benzo so that I can sleep like a normal human being, I get this restless leg syndrome medication that does not do shit except give me random pains, anxiety, and nightmares

I've been sober 2 weeks tomorrow and have been walking/jogging 1.8 miles almost daily (the days I dont I play basketball with some friends for a couple of hours). I feel alot better about myself now that guilt has been lifted from my shoulders. I start college in the fall and I feel confident that I can do very well. I haven't noticed symptoms improving (in fact, just today I was noticing How I can see mini-fractals on certain shades of white with certain lighting conditions) but I am still hoping for the best

Yeah I started at 3mg melatonin about 2 months ago and increased to 6mg then 9mg. It worked at first but stopped working fast. I didn't want to push the dosage any higher. It just seems like some nights I just can't get to sleep regardless of what I do. I'll try sleeping less again. I always have a fan on in my room because the white noise helps. Some nights I just toss and turn laying awake for hours on end because I can't get comfortable. When this happens I generally just give up go find something else to do. Good luck at your interview Work is the one place where I can mostly forget about my symptoms

I feel exhausted (such as with a lack of sleep) constantly regardless of whether I get 8 hours of sleep or 16. I've noticed I spend an inordinate amount of time (12+ hours) sleeping if I have no other obligations. It is difficult to tell if this is a result of HPPD or from continuous disruption of sleep patterns from substances with seritogenic activity (I seem to remember a link between the two, if I am not mistaken). Regardless, I have some awful insomnia, occaisonal bouts of sleep paralysis (~ once a week) and some odd body spasms as I am drifting off. I had an appointment with a sleep specialist this month on the 22nd after waiting 2 months but I just realized I have orientation for college on the same day, so I will have to reschedule. Hopefully I will not have to wait another 2 long months.

How did you guys deal with your cravings? I''ve been getting back in to some old hobbies (reading, lightgloving, online gaming) which seems to help a bit. Whenever I start to get cravings I just try to find something else to do to keep me busy. I've found that looking in to a dark room where I can't see beyond a foot in front of me due to static and saying "One day I'll be able to see all this again" has proven effective as well

True. But that's not to say that medication couldn't help in lessening symptoms.

So It's gotten to the point where my HPPD has caused me to discontinue all substance use (starting just recently). Exercise, sleep, eating healthy, substance discontinuation, and benzos seem to help with treatment of HPPD symptoms. Steps have already been taken in all departments sans benzos and actual medical treatment (which, granted, hasnt always proven effective anyways) My question is this. I am still under a parent's health insurance right now, but I am over 18, thus my doctor would need my consent to discuss my condition with my parents. Would I be able to set up an appointment, and fill my own prescriptions while using my parent's health insurance without them being notified of my condition? I am not worried about paying the co-pays for the visits and for any prescriptions myself. It's not that I am ashamed to tell my parents, but rather that I feel like they have taken care of me long enough as a child, and I think it is time I should start taking care of my own fucking problems instead of putting the burden on them. Worst-case scenario I can always get health insurance of my own through my employer, although it may be difficult to do that discretely.

Yeah I know. I can't go to parties sober. I get bummed out and bum people out as well. Totally sucks

Will do. I think I'll pick up exercise to fill the gap

I decided that I am sick of living with guilt and fear. I am sick of waking up, and looking in the mirror to see those sunken haunted eyes that yearn for sleep. I'm sick of spending money on things that will only bring me happiness fod a short time. I'm 18 years old and I feel like I'm 40. I haven't even started college yet. One last hurrah is in order with some friends and then I am taking a year break. If I don't see any improvement in a year...well...I'll see where I go from there

Yeah, I know I should. I need to find something else to make me happy.

S'all good. I was sober for 3-4 months before I gave up psychedelics as well. My vision didn't improve but also didn't worsen. I know in my heart I need to give everything up and not look back but MDMA and the rave culture is such a big part of my life. I know it's going to be tough

No, not self-medicating. I dose responsibly (IE, 4 week breaks between MDMA). I only do psyches maybe every other week. I havent done psychedelics for 3-4 months prior to trying 2cb for the first time last week

True. I know alot of things will have to change regarding how I think about my situation before I am able to tackle this issue. I know now that any stimulant or psychedelic worsens my condition for at least a few days. I havent noticed any severe worsening of effects before my symptoms manifested themseles after using 2c-I. Lately I have been using 2cb sparingly and have noticed worsening symptoms the days after, but that seem to stabilize after a few days.

Yeah, it could get much worse. At present my HPPD is a hinderance during the day. Static everywhere and my vision has gotten to the point where it is so blurry that it is difficult to see and read things. The worst of my symptoms manifest at night. Everything is obscured by static and I cant see more than a foot in front of me.

I find my nights worse then mornings. Although for the first 20ish minutes in the morning I am in quite a foul mood and have all the symptoms of being drunk (blurred vision, stumbling, etc.) My nights are filled with static obscuring my sub-par night vision, shadows morphing into threatening figures, and CEVs preventing sleep

Essentially, I feel like I would miss MDMA and psychedelics if I quit using them. They were what initially cured my depression and are old friends as well as tools for insight. I know that my HPPD will never improve unless I give them up but am hesitant to do so at the same time. Part of me feels like the hand I have been dealt is unfair I suppose. Why, after less than a dozen uses of psychedelics have I developed this disorder? I have acquaintences who have used psychedelics dozens or even hundreds of times with effects that only persist a day or so after they trip.

Haven't said a word, nor do I plan on doing so. If I felt so compelled I assume I could make a doctors appointment on my own (I am still under my mom's health insurance) and pay the copay. It is true that because I am over 18 my doctor cannot share my records with my parents, correct? Would they be able to find out through their health insurance company? I feel like this is my problem and my responsibility. I don't want my parents to have more things to worry about.

I just saw it posted on another site awhile back and saved it

This isn't written by me but I want to share it anyways Recovery Today the ceiling didn’t burst into glowing orange and hexagons, lines didn’t dance across the floor. I ate five times & didn’t vomit. I didn’t stumble in traffic, smoke three packs, or collapse at a party. I walked to the gas station & didn’t writhe in paranoia when the attendant asked: Don’t I know you from somewhere? Today I smiled at myself in the mirror & didn't see a past life. Today, I didn't search for someone I used to be, and I didn't imagine the people still to come, I want to see where this life goes without thinking where it's been. Today, I didn’t itch. My throat wasn’t dry. My heart didn’t race. I almost felt as if I was moving on, but I still like to imagine a world where all humans are wrapped in visible auras that were manifestations of their souls. What would yours look like? Mine is a wreath of wilting black roses shot through with chrysalises full of fire.

I have found that for a few days after mephedrone use my symptoms get quite noticably worse