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Alisa, thank you for the nice comment much appreciated. Mandrake, he has always had a high anxiety level.

Congratulations!!! I'm very happy for you.

Boorges so your saying that if your born with (we will just say the static and not hppd for arguments sake) it then it does not get worse by meds etc.? This would be valuable info for me because mine is effect by all kinds of stuff meds,sleep,stress it would be nice to be able to give him meds without worry of worsening his condition. He like your friends does not seem to suffer from dp/dr although we have only really talked about it very few times. But his static does bother him and he finds it hard to read this has been hard for him because he is in a very advanced school an the academics are very fast passed. I know everyone is different but any knowledge is never waisted time.

Thank you for your concerned reply. What's the difference between schizophrenia and the images you see from hppd. It's the knowledge that they do not exist. He has this knowledge he knows it is not real. Can you imagine having hppd and thinking it was schizophrenia many have been diagnosed that vey way and how much more harmful would that be to a child. The stigma alone not to mention the drugs that would follow. I would hope my husband would know if our child was schiaphrenic as well. Think how hard it was for you to get your diagnoses of hppd you know you don't have schizophrenia. I can't tell you how I've prayed this would just go away for him or how guilty I feel knowing my sin could have cost my child a full life. I don't want this to be hppd I can't even bring myself to talk to him about it unless he needs to talk to me. The only reason I bring this up with you guys is so you know it's a possibility. I have asked for help on this board in the past on how to help him with the images in the dark. I don't have this problem so I have not built a skill set on this one. I'm not trying to scare anyone or to be mean or hateful I just felt like I should speak up that's all. You guys are all I have had at times and may be all he will have in the future.

I've thought about taking him to Dr.A as well but my husband is a physician and thinks its better to just act like nothing is going on not bring extra attention to it. I know how some will feel about that but im just being truthful. I simply have told him I'm here for him if he wants to talk about it and if it gets bad enough I would take him to see someone. I have tried to get him help for the static because sometimes he said its hard to read but the doctor just said it was migraine how many migraines make you see images in the dark with 24/7 static. Idk I guess maybe I was strong in the way I said yes in the past post but I'm very emotional about it. It's hard enough when you go thr something but when it's your child you feel very helpless. It's very hard for me to talk about it as well because its he's story not mine and I fear I might be risking his privacy.

No he has not.

Chris what are you even saying? we disagree its ok. Just let it go. We are on the same side. I'm sorry for any way I have offended you. The tea party was not a nice comment and I'm sorry for that. Lets just move on.

You are right. And actually it's good to open dialogue on these topics weather we agree or not.

Your like a tea cluber who only takes what they want from the bible a pic here a pic there. I said in my statement twice that it was in my experience. In the same post. It tires you because you can not fight that fact and I'm not sure why you are trying. Just let it go we beg to differ and that's fine not everyone is going to agree. In MY experience hppd being past down is what I am living. I wish it were not but that's how it's played out in MY life. I don't need a document written to prove what I'm living nor did all the hppders who went to doctors that told them there was no such thing. Have you been diagnosed with hppd? Many here have not been actually diagnosed with hppd it does not mean they do not have it or that it is not real.

Your welcome, I did not have this board or these stimulating conversations when I was making choices but I must say it would not have effected mine. My son is amazing in every way and has an old soul he struggles with things like reading in school and making since of things in the dark and for that my heart breaks for him. We never know what our children will be born with or without we only know that we have a love we want to share with another living soul and I have no doubt that my son is suppose to be here. I would not make a choice on my experience but on the experiences you want out of life and a child can bring more love to your world then I could ever express.

The way I said it? How many times did I say it was my experience????? 2 that's how many how else would it please you sir? My facts are not on paper but with my sister siting in his office her as well suffering with hppd. We talked at length about it running in family's and I think you should go and see him if this is something that lay heavy on you. The hard base facts are you do not know and may know less then I for I'm living with my walking evidence.

Sorry myslingerbult to go off on that its a touchy subject and should be. But as I said it was ONLY my experience and hope this does not alter your course of life. I'm sure you are a strong individual and it would not. I felt the need to answer your question as how it is personally connected to mine.

I don't need to use scare tactics hppd is scary enough all on its own and the hard base facts are that we don't have a clue how to cure it or how it will effect our offspring.

Chris what is your hppd but personal experience? The question was posed not to medical doctors but to the followers of this board so really everything that anyone says on this board is only personal experience so until you have your phd you speak from only your personal experience with this disorder. I have just as much a write to say my experience as you do and did it in way of saying this is my experience as not to confuse it. Do you think I want to talk about my child on this board? I did it to maybe help someone who MIgHT go through this as well. I have been to see Dr.A I know it's passed down and if your confused on that issue maybe you should go see him.

Yes I do one with hppd since a very small child. The first time I thought he might have hppd was when he was in bed and said mommy I see ants marching everywhere. My heart sunk the first thought was static. I didn't talk with him about it for years hoping it would go away of course it did not. I have since talked with him and am sad to say his visuals are worse then mine he sees colors exploding images in the dark. Can you imagine as a young child seeing faces in the dark? I can't even tell you how it breaks my heart knowing there is no help for him out there. I think it would be irresponsible for me not to convey my experience.

How many times did I say it was from my experience?

Really why?

I'm so sorry to you and for your loss. You are going through alot right now so take a breathe and try to stop worrying about your symptoms and just worry about getting back to good over all health. I would take up meditation download a guide from iTunes maybe try some yoga. In about 3 months after being off meds and clean living then evaluate where you are. You have been through 2 really hard traumas one physical the surgery the other emotional your friend. The body's way of protecting itself from trauma is dp/dr so by doing meditation you will be offering another way for the mind to relax. I just had a wisdom tooth pulled and feel the effects of the surgery and meds and mine is not nearly as rough as what you are going through so give your body time to heal and I'm sure you will be fine. Try not to dwell on any of it if you can as a hppder the mind can sometimes get stuck make sure you process and move on. If it gets really bad even tho I hate meds you might try an anti anxiety med just to get you over this hump.

Yes this absolutely is passed down and yes your children could get this from you without ever touching an illegal drug. I'm speaking from my experience. It maybe be very rare but when it happens to you it no longer seems rare. It does seem that when a child has all the visuals the dp/dr and panic attacks don't seem to be at the fore front. This is all just my personal experience.

Yes!!!

Is it keppra that can cause rage issues? And if so has anyone had an issue with that?

I'm more worried about all the meds people end up on and how they will react with hppd. I actually worry alot about this. There are so many meds that make hppd worse I would hate to be 60 and playing a med game and ending up with even worse hppd in my elder years.

I was asking because when I was really sick with reflux I had to give up all caffeine and lots of food I lost 20pds and was scaring my family I was so thin. Anyway in this time the thought of ending my life kept popping up in my thoughts I couldn't get it to stop even tho I had no desire to do so I couldn't get it to stop. I curled up in my bathroom floor crying because I couldn't stop the thoughts. I'm not sure what caused it if it was a withdrawal from caffeine or not eating or the fact that my anxiety was going crazy but it was very like OCD repetitive and unwanted thoughts. It's strange but I finally became friends with death. If I was going to die because I couldn't eat and was going to starve or whatever happened it was ok I'm a good person the people I care about know I love them and everything in my life was enough in order that my family would be ok and then the thoughts subsided when I stopped being afraid of it. Your in the armed forces life and death are shoved down your throat all the time your forced to think about it. Embrace it find peace in it and I think it will let you go. Worth a try.

Has anything else changed in your life? Diet or new med or coming off med? I would rule out all outside factors first then start looking inward. If you don't have a doc it's time to find one that can help you combat these thoughts that are attacking you. It's almost like OCD it's repetitive thoughts that attack you but you know you would never act on them but the fact that your having them is destructive enough it's a full on war inside your mind. I know this girl who's husband killed himself and she said nothing was different I can't understand it it was an ordinary day like every other day. I thought that was the problem. I hope this passes soon for you.

What is hydroxyzine and what were you using it for? Stay strong I'm sure it will calm down. I think everyone on this site has ups and downs so give it some time. Alot of people really like keppra may be worth a try. Hope your better soon