LethargicAcid

yoga for life

i dont think that HPPD is a constant state of "oneness". .. because the psychedelics wore off. the visuals are what stayed, not the mindset. my opinion

i got HPPD from an awful shroom trip in which i lost complete disconnection from my senses too(except i was by myself lol, hard)! maybe we're getting somewhere to why HPPD happens! "existential crisis thought loops" yeah thats Depersonalization, which also disconnects us from senses and feelings... I think i already was a mental mess before the shroom trip, already had some type of depersonalization, so yeah.. i wasnt grounded in reality too well to begin with. I had mystic beliefs. yeah embarrasing. anyways, i heard that SSRI's could increse the symptoms in some people? anything seratonin based? im not sure.. Im like 8 months into this, and i dont remember the past 8 months, shit i barely remember yesterday. I was kinda like u. my symptoms were very mild. Then i started smoking pot, and then it got reaaaal bad..... ive been off pot for like a week and my symptoms seem to be diminishing a lot! still pretty stressed out though. I used to be scared as fuck to sleep, now I can sleep at like 1! so I am recoverying! visual-wise and mental-wise. But i still have DP.. but im optimistic.. trying to be.

trip into hell, yeah i was thinking about what u said too. the first paragraph. if HPPD is some type of DP/PTSD. I also wonder if some of us have different diforders. yeah its a strange condition, i agree.... but maybe its not a strange condition? what if its just some part of our vision got unlocked and now we're traumatized by it causing DP, simple as that ? what if there are different kinds of "HPPD?" some people have it for life, some people it goes away. Does anxiety about HPPD support the HPPD? its weird, because 2 of my friends have "HPPD" - they see tracers and stuff still. They got it from Nbome, the research chemicals, which are kinda different than LSD and shrooms. and they both have tracers. But i got it from shrooms and i see faces and pattern recognition ... So is it just random that we have different symptoms, the same disorder or something different? p.s. , my symptoms seem to be diminishing. probly cuz i quit drugs. could it be related to the meditation?, less obsessing, thinking about symptoms? idk and some people are on a full-blown acid trip basically.... what if some people, the DP is related to the condition and some people not...? idk im just spewing out theories . I feel if we all compared our symptoms and shit we could proove such theories correct or incorrect. maybe we should make a thread and then theres people on shroomery with no anxiety, and HPPD, and some continue to trip every week...... like my friends ...

my symptoms -static/floaters, mainly when looking at the sky or walls -afterimages. Those were my only symptoms until I started smoking weed. Now I have -ghosting - i stare at an object and the outlines dissappear (something like that) -pareidolia: seeing objects within objects. Faces. that one is freaky. Like, the clouds make faces, or random patterns make faces. The weed looked like a monster. and they have personalities too, its weird. The computer was like a Space Soldier. thats my most traumatizing symptom. -random dots of color -increased pattern recognition -sometimes, morphing I dont get tracers, halos and certain symptoms like that I wonder if theres a fundamental difference between different types of HPPD, or if its just random *my symptoms seem to be diminishing, -i quit all drugs including caffiene -i try not to obsess about symptoms

brain fog is called Depersonalization Disorder, I think. Its what protects our brain from trauma. its a symptom of post-traumatic-stress-disorder. Thats what I think at least. I have a theory that all HPPD symptoms revolve around the Static.

BTW i remember smoking pot and i would stare at the static, the static would turn into morphing like i was on a real acid trip and it made it worse ...... it was like i would stare into the static and i could see deeper into the static until it became tripping i did this at the beach before and i was seeing in frames, like every portion of a second i would see the waves move, instead of fluidly. that was fucking trippy

jay, omfg, u just solved everything!!!!!! omg lyk i think theres like some shamanic reason behind all this! we iz seing intew diff dimensions lyk Monsters Inc. so deep and profound!!!!!!! lol mycall, im sorry to hear that , so were u fully cured of HPPD and then it came back or what ?

^ agreed, smoking pot worsened my symptoms... i started perceiving inanimate objects as alive ... faces and monsters..... im still traumatized. i was so fucked up from that. everything i looked at was alive ...... chairs and shit ... my senior experience speech, i was soooooo depressed and brain dead ..... thinking i was schizophrenic while everyone else was happy and prepared ....... i quit smoking pot for like its been about a week and i barely see faces anymore ... i had dinner with my family earlier and didnt hallucinate once! a blessing and im never touching even caffiene again . I looked at my leg earlier in the dark and it had faces on it FFS ... lol... im grateful as fuck that my HPPD seems to be curing itself i wouldnt reccomend it..... unless u want to be in a full blown acid trip, never being normal again, ......

its generally agreed that caffeine makes it worse at least temporarily

damn dude im sorry to hear that. wow juggling haha sick, ive always wanted to learn that. i agree that it helps focus I think that in ADHD, its like swapping executive functions(memory, sequence), for creativity. so in University or something yeah Ide see it as a problem. I just graduated high school barely lol. depression and hppd problems I barely passed lol. didnt do a shred of work hardly last year lol, copied. and aced tests. funny cuz last year i got an A in Physics without doing homework, and an A+ in algebra 2, but failed Spanish twice and copied my way thru ....... lol damn flash cards

i wouldnt trust stimulants b/c worsening HPPD symptoms personally... plus keppra causes irratable effects i heard? that combined with stimulants would be irritable x irritable .. idk, sounds sketchy to me. Green tea caffiene free may be the best bet I can think of. increases focus, deceases anxiety. win-win for ADHD/ADD whatever, idk the difference. but meditation and especially EXCERSIZE are seriously beneficial for the negative ADHD symptoms. I find ADHD as a gift. They think Leonardo Da Vinci and Einstein had it ... Einstein's teachers percieved him as lazy lol. idk, i dont see myself going to college lol. trying to be an entreprenuer But when I did use stimulants, I could focus on mundane tasks like Spanish homework for like 8 hours straight without getting bored. Like 8 hours would pass sooooooooo fast, would be focused the whole time ... kind of a fucked up drug Tbh in my opinion.. cuz its like tweak. last time I took it to study for finals, I stayed up for 3 days straight, tweaking on the second day during school was high on weed, went to nurse lol tweaking muscle spasms too. Ended up having panic attack with high heart rate, called 911 lmao ............ only 20 mg adderall no tolerance.. im sensitive to drugs.. ...

oh and heres a song about HPPD

ok, since I of us dont trip/smoke anymore, (BTW some of my friends with HPPD still continue to trip and smoke dabs every day and do ketamine and shit and coke ....... theyre crazy i hope they dont ruin their lives) I was thinking of a new way to trip. Learning to Lucid Dream. Dreams are trippy as fuck !!! Isnt dreaming essentially the brain releasing DMT? thats what ive heard So would lucid dreaming increase HPPD? IDK but im gonna learn how to do it. Also, meditation. Is known to sometimes cause CEV's. I wonder if that would aggrevate the HPPD symptoms. IDK, but I am gonna learn to Lucid Dream and get into Deep Meditations. Because I miss tripping so Im gonna trip naturally. I have had a bunch of accidental Lucid Dreams. Especially since acquiring HPPD. Plus, dont we all get weird ass dreams? Like sleep paralysis, false awakenings, dreams within dreams and shit. I remember once I had a dream within a dream in which I was a video game character. ..weird lol or something like that I was also a video game character which was like real life. people were fighting to the death lol ..... i was scared lol I had an out-of-body experience once, i think HPPD let me get it. It felt like a full-blown trip. great. super spiritual. Theory: are the weird ass dreams that we get due to DP? because in DP, i tend to question if im real or not lol ... so in a dream, i could question if its real or not, thus causing a lucid dream, a dream within a dream, false awakening, all that trippy shit. Anyways, hopefully Lucid Dreaming/Deep Meditations dont increase my HPPD. that would suck. cuz i wanna trip on something! It seems kinda simple. Also, it seems that people who daydream are prone to lucid dreaming. Thats all I did in class, so i guess im lucky (I even quit drinking green tea(caffiene free) cuz i dont want it to aggrevate HPPD although Buddhist Monks meditated on green tea, so thats kinda shitty) so yeah ill reply to this post when I get around to these things, posting the result on HPPD etc.. and how it is

i heard somewhere that opiates might exacerbate symptoms .. idk too lazy to research. someone could research what receptors it afects?

True, and thank you

yeah, i think its the same thing as static

maybe try keeping some benzos handy since they do not tend to worsen symptoms. Ive never heard of benzos worsening symptoms, they actualy improve symptoms. Im sure that any psychiatrist would prescribe u benzos. Just tell them that u have Visual Snow Syndrome. which is HPPD that people get naturally. and u get anxiety from it. benzos are anti anxiety. they help alot. WARNING: THEY ARE EXTREMELY ADDICTIVE so ide advice only use them at times like in ur description, "the only way to calm urself down was to get high". theyre extremely addictive and the withdrawal symptoms SUCK. but theyre also really helpful if u use them sparingly.

I know i said that was my last comment but this is what everything really boils down to in my opinion "does it only bother you because it's different? or does it actually interfere with your life? if it only bothers you because it's different then mushrooms could help you change the way you look at that problem.. just because it's different doesn't mean it's worse.. what if it's an improvement? you never know.. i find everything i look at now that i've tripped like i have and see the things i see, is more beautiful than it was before, even when i'm sober. its not a bad thing man; unless it interferes with your life.."

oh and this "But isn't it the visual aspects that cause depersonalization and derealization? I could be wrong, but almost every report I've read the whole reason for DP/DR is that person suffering from it couldn't adjust to the visual changes and obsesses over the fact that they "ruined their brain" until it drives them into this state. I mean when I go on HPPD online nearly 90% of reports sound like this... "HELP, I took two hits of acid a month ago and now I see eyefloaters and a little static. I think I ruined my brain and I regret every decision I ever made with drugs and just want to go back to being me again." Now of course there are people with legitimate hardcore HPPD. And even those without it are still understandable. I'm not trying to make fun of anyone, I've had eyefloaters bug the shit out of me for months after noticing them. But I feel like in this case the symptoms usually are the disease. Most success stories I've read come from people saying they've stopped paying attention to the visuals and over time they started to forget about it and live a normal life. So I feel like a lot of it is anxiety driven due a sudden noticeable change in brain state. But I've never heard of people getting DP/DR who weren't driven to it because of the visuals. Unless it was ego death or a bad trip or something of that sort."

sorry guys this quote from shroomery is all i can end with "i have mild visuals still, but the worst part is the persistent mindfuck. i have schizoid like symptoms that I experience sporadically. not hearing voices, but the overall inability to follow a train of thought. it happens only on certain days. meditation is BY FAR the best way of dealing with HPPD. i've taken up buddhism to help recover from the negative effects of my psychedelic use. it's slowly helping me. to all of those that suffer from HPPD. YOU ARE NOT POWERLESS." just trying to help. and yes my HPPD is back down to -static -sometimes faces -light afterimages

damn :\ i didnt kno it could get that bad

ok these people are from shroomery: "its not as big of a deal as some people make it out to be, i always got tracers and lines are always swurving. i kinda enjoy it, doesnt effect my thinking one bit so im fine with it." another "people blow it way out of proportion... but still, theres no way of telling if you'll get it or not." another "the propsychdelic like me arent really bothered by it much, makes life alot harder the first few years, they are hell i dunno how i coped with it at 13, instead of retreating from psychdelics i just started useing more lol , ya they are hell adjusting to the new norm takesmuch practice, slight tracers hehe Come on man u think thats all us hppd'r experience? I see colorful geometrix blanketing my visuals field, theirs not 1 spot in my visuion that dosent have a acid like geometric. been like this since i was 13 of this 10strip of lavender i ate, im 20 now and represent hppdonline, hppd'rs and psychonauts alike. Now to people whove only done these drugs 1-2 times and hit hppd there in lyes a problem, somthing knew to u that u are now stuck with.. even the seriouse psychonauts crack under hppd's pressure. only reason i think i didnt was continueing to use psychdelics at that age, eating a few hits of acid 3 times a week made hppd become childplay." hopefully i dont get banned for copyright ..i guess i should delete this comment

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Sorry guys . this is what i meant: I thought that HPPD has a PTSD to it. my point was that the visuals arent super horrible, but the PTSD is. i thought that the mental illness is the bad part. idk i give up what do u guys think