LethargicAcid

damn ive only slept like 7 hours in the past 48 hours. it was so fucking hard for me , but i just slept for 3 hours. i woke up feeling scared for no good reason. feared insanity felt trapped. but i calmed myself down somehow. last night i just couldnt sleep i was delirious. i would put my head on the pillow and have racing thoughts that i couldnt control. my brain was tired but i would freak out. i drank green tea decaf and i smoked a hit of og kush 5 hours before that but it seemed to make it worse. i dont even know at thispoint. it was 5 in the morning or somemthung so i went outside and did yoga, lliften weights, did pushups which calmed me down. i did deep breathing the whole time. and i woke up feeling scared pacing back and forth even tho i have a torn knee. i calmed myself down by realizing its illogical. it sucks having adrenaline rushes for days straight u go delirious.

i think i feel exactly how u just described right now. stayed up for like 48 hours with only a few hours of sleep. fear of going insane. constantly had to do deep breathing and excersize, but they worked well. i particularly think excersize the our best weapon. because we get a limited supply of mental strength, so when our mental strength is low, can use physical strength. just remember that ur brain is tricking u. maladaptive. im tired as fuck right now. i ate foods that help fatigue. nothing is sure. i know that youre probly low on options, cuz thats how i feel. i was so fucking scared that i was worried, wanting my mom saying "mommy mommy mommy" under my breathe. but i realize that my brain is just panicing. just remember: ur brain is stronger than u think. your gonna be fine , ur brain is just setting off alarms. listen to some chill music and focus on the moment. stay away from coffe

ive been distracting myself from the fact that im perma static/floaters for like 5-6 months since i got hppd. i smoked a hit of OG kush and all the repressed thoughts/feelings/anxiety is waiting for me at full force. i am doing deep breathing right now. yesterday, i avoided a hot panick attack. ive also only got 2 hours of sleep in the past 20 or so hours. this feeling of submerging panick is waiting to be released, but I dont know how. I Feel like this is the time to accept it. i should be dealing with it on my own, but i depend on this site in a way. so im gonna take deep breaths and take a shower. since i had panic attack syptoms yesterday, this morning my brain felt worn out and fatigued. so i ate kale and other vegetables and bacon lol. well shit im high(havent smoked in 4 days, little tolerance), so im just going to at least try to accept it. deep breaths and logic. i just dont think my brain can take much more fatigue since im tired as fuck. i need sleep. yay i love being alive:) i love myself and i love every person in the world. i love all of the green plants, the furry animals and the scaly ones. i love the blue skye and the clouds. i love the feeling of the wind against my skin. i love love. i love critisism. i love hppd. it forces me to get my shit togther. its just like the static on a t.v. screen. my hppd isnt bad compared to most people. i just make excuses and feel bad for myself, because I am not a man yet. in this entropic world, it is survival of the fittest. I am so strong and grateful now. I am forced to live life to its full extent, and I am grateful for it. Panic is for when lions and tigers are glaring at me. I am perfectly safe and enjoy my freedom. life has much to offer, but such a small amount of time is a human lifespan. death is a part of life. I will one day, in maybe 50 years, greet death with a bearhug. For I've adapted to its unfairness. But for now, I am going to love myself and love what I have become. thoughts are just thoughts. they are an evolutionary mechanism to survive. All I need is self control(deep breathing) , positive self talk, Life is hard, and I enjoy it. I would not have it any other way. Easy is boring. I am going to be such a strong person. Quit all of my addictions/vices/dependancies. treat myself with respect and every thing with respect. I am not in a war zone. I am not firing guns in a war. But I am gifted with having to face a challenge. Logic is so easy. it is a yes or a no. that and breathing . mental battles are tough, but only as tough as I allow it to be. Mental battles increase my mental strength. I have faith in myself that I can overcome this obsticle. I just have to pick and pick at it, one step at a time. I have the ability to construct my reality. I appreciate my past use of psychadelics as they made me wise and self-realized. I learned insights. Nothing lasts forever. And thats beautiful. I can not take a psychadelic ever again, including dxm or ketamine or cigarettes or caffiene or whatever. Thats awesome. I love myself. I am grateful for this computer. I am scared, and that is okay. I need sleep. So I am going to take a shower, then go to sleep. And I am grateful for the gift of HPPDONLINE. I learned so much about HPPD to the extent that I know what to do to be happy and content. I want any other fellows of my kind to have hope. do things that you know are right. Engage in relaxation breathing, meditation, yoga, and excersize like running or skateboarding or swimming or hanging out in nature or dancing or singing or poetry or love or help somone. those all increase love. and love creates passion. passion creates motivation. motivation increases purpose. purpose increases self love. and the cycle keeps on going. I am sorry that we all have to deal with this neuralogical anomaly, but I have to let go of the sorrow. Because I actually do love what hppd has made me become. I have so many revelations because of it. like the ones stated here. this is all coming from the heart. human bodies can withstand sooo much. think about it, how broken bones can heal. how people survive heart attacks. how people get FUCKING HEART TRANSPLANTS. i am accepting it, its just taking time. anyways shout out to all the long term HPPD members. shout out to all of the new members. I am here if anyone would like to talk or I could try to give them advice by digging deep. besides i actually love my hppd. i get to experience in a unique way. it helped me realize that not everything is what it seems. All I need to do is practice relaxation breathing/ excersize/ positive thinking/gratefulness, facing other issues in life,

thanks boozebome, idk if i got hppd from 25-i or shrooms. im too lazy to explain wat happened. i see people complaining about how depressed they are and how their life sucks and it pisses me off cuz im on this forum to find hope ..... so it IS possible to accept it fully? is that.. hard ? its really all just about shifting focus to reality i guess and forgetting about it and NOT FUCKING UP BY TAKING MORE DRUGS. i guess some stuff is better off left unsaid

Passion, I was in literally the same state u are in 14 hours ago. Ur body releases adrenaline to the point where it feels unreal. Anxiety. Just know that reality is what u make it. Practicing relaxation breathing/yoga/meditation every day , you'll learn how to calm yourself down more. When u get scared, ur body may not wanna eat. But doing so is vital. I wish that I had time to post more but I have to get some sleep since I'm sleep deprived from quitting pot. Sleep deprivation definitely makes it worse a shit ton. Caffeine free green tea helps me personally, I poured like 5 cups today. But most of all, probly excersize is the best. Releases endorphines whic calm. Plus the increase in dopamine makes an hppd'er feel more real

i wanna erase this so can a moderator please erase this or something ?

China , thanks !!! helps a lot haha. And Shadowplay, thanks too! i love nerds albert einstein never gave up either. nikola Tesla, who invented the electrical systems in houses, AC, had his entire lab burned down with all of his lifetime of science stuff. and he didnt quit Hey shadow, good job accepting it!! my hppd is rather mild. It might be getting worse cuz of weed! is there anyone who doesnt get worse off weed seriously.. i might just put it down forever but its likeone of my favorite thing to do, it aids my meditation plus my adhd mind races like craZ. yeah i am still anxious from last night's insights, i need to meditate more. Hey guys! anxieties are a blessing in desguise! they tell you what step to take next to become stable. human's prime instinct is to avoid pain and seek pleasure(thats why drugs like meth are addictive) . thats wat motivates us to eat. But maturing is all about following Passion rather than Desie/fear(thats ego). passion is long term oriented like setting goals and completing them . being frustrated/in pain is not a bad thing! it means that we are going thru the process to get stronger. American propoganda pressures us to have an attitude that all that matters is being happy. But you cant be truely happy following desires by trying to control everything. like hppd. its all about letting go of control. notice how the strongest people are not smiling all the time. They arent "nice guys", or people pleasers. no they endured hardship. they arent picky check this out, its how the NAVY SEALs are strong. the components of letting go. http://examinedexistence.com/how-to-be-mentally-tough-like-a-navy-seal/ i think of it this way: HPPD is like joining the military. some people are too weak, some make it through. if you pass the HPPD test, youre basically strong like a military person. life is not fair. people used to die to starvation, infection, slavery, rape. This is a blessing to become hardened. the world doesnt owe us shit. just be grateful that we are the most capable beings on Earth: humans. (because of technology and intelligence) My hppd is not too bad though, so its different degrees. WHenever i would tell myself, "im gonna do this in the future". when that future actually came i would think, "why the hell did i even think that was the right thing to do"... my point is that whenever our brain acts out of fear or desire, its the safest and most far from logical answer there is. so realize that the brain plays tricks on u all the time. its all about humility, knowing that you know nothing. its all about the present moment do u guys disagree about anything i said ?

i forgot what this post was about cuz anxiety. ill just blame it on my adhd ;)jk oh yeah, 2 of my best friends have hppd and they live in florida. now i moved to cali and my "good/best friend" turns out to havehppd. ive met 2 other people with hppd. at the cali beach Ocean Beach (HIPPIES FUCKING EVERYWHERE LMFAO) i told someone im perma tripping. and they said "yeah, that happens." turns out they have hppd and they dont mind much all the people ive known leaned to accept it

umm i had a dream that i was on dmt and in my dream i was having closed eyed visuals like light shows lol. pure light, not static. idk if that was in my dream, or if I was "having a spiritual experience" (meditation) and basically tripping. haha. i guess that counts it feels good to be light hearted

indica strains personally fucked up my vision, increased brain fog a shit ton and dr/dp. but thats me i have add/adhd so im always in brain fog regardless. i think thats why weed (sativa) helps me, but probly makes HPPD worse. so i guess im quitting forever. im sober and my anxieties are back . DONT SMOKE WEED

hows life. i was doing so well when i was smoking pot, but now that i quit or something reality caught up with me, and im kinda anxious. i have lots to live for. i do mindfullyness meditation for a couple hours everyday which helps. my hppd isnt that bad. i have 3d vision but when i overthnk it it goes back to 2d. idk. i think sleep deprivation is a big one.

it seems it makes it worse for me. im going to quote Mr. 50's, "I'm doing fucking amazing for the first time in my almost 2 years of this shit. For once it's not I feel great for a week and shitty the next, I've felt great for months on end. I found out it has 60% to do with sleep and 40% with what I eat. I completely stopped caffeine, large amounts of sugar, nicotine etc and got my sleep down juts perfect, which takes commitment ie setting alarms at specific times and going to bed at specific times etc, my visuals are 65% less than when u first developed visuals but there still there and may still be there for another year or 2 at the most" i kinda agree. plus sleep dep. is something in our control, may be the biggest factor we can control to well being(other than drug abstaining)

i guess its best to accept hppd as a gift. think of it this way: some people are blind, get their arms amputated, all of the time. and i am sure they suffer ptsd and get to reevaluate their life and be grateful for life. with us, we get the PTSD trauma, but we have the power to let it affect us. we didnt lose limbs. we can STILL SEE. its all about being positive. people around the world are dying to AIDS, etc. people are are slaves. freedom is awesome. we get the lesson of be grateful for life, but our punishment is static or floaters etc. thats it. its as simple as recognizing it as, "my brain doesnt filter out these things so i know they arent real" thats not so hard. at least we arent in Hitler's death camps. now that we are so grateful to be alive, be grateful for every second. share love with people. thats where true happiness is. its mind over matter on this one. i used to skateboard(but tore my knee). do you think someone does those tricks by being scared? no. its mind over matter on this. its just a skateboard trick. you just need to be able to turn off those anxieties in your brain, its all about building self love. i dont know about benzos, i wouldnt try. thatst just me green tea helps me stay collected. plus i have adhd. just know once u learn to live with this, youre that much stronger.

hey ive had hppd for..... 5, 6 months? was smokin weed and quit . probly never going bck. quitting weed and ive been meditating for like 8 months. i finally realize ive been burying my anxieties and now they're all coming out i finally "found" myself again and looked at a wall. i was like wtf is this really who i have become my body went into panick mode. idk, isnt it best to meditate ? i guess its as simple as a yes or no ? im gonna delete this so people dont get negative vibes

drugs affect people differently . For instance, if you have ADD/ADHD, stimulants such as Adderall and Vyvanse (arent they like the same thing almost?) have a calming and focused effect on adhd, but for "normal" people, it affects like cocaine (i think) everyones brain is different, people react to weed differently

excersize gets rid of my dr/dp idk about visuals though....... not being in a building with white walls definitly is a factor

mikezero, im pretty sure marijuana makes HPPD worse, it did for me . makes floaters nuts . plus when you have to quit, the withdrawal an lack of dopamine are gonna fuck with u. read my post about weed

It seems like every single person, weed made their HPPD worse. 1.Marijuana affects the amygdala which is in charge of fear. 2.People report feeling derealized and DP from weed EVEN WITHOUT HPPD. Weed(indica) (CBD) creates a sort of "brain fog" which dampens the ability of the brain to make neural connections. 3. You experience a loss of dopamine the day after pot. ~Sativa strains are stimulants, so when the THC wears off, your brain is destimulated.(i think so at least) In the "weed hangover", you still feel high. but its groggy and anxious 1.you feel more fearful since the amygala is out of balance 2. the CBD in weed makes the neural connections hazy since it lingers in the brain even the day after smoking. 3. The loss of dopamine makes for a more "dreamy" feel, less focus. Creative people have lower dopamine (like in ADD/ADHD), and have been associated with insanity. so low dopamine=lessfocus=less contact with reality=derealized. Also, anti-psychotics like Resperidol(spelling) exaserbate hppd in most and they lower dopamine. my point is that low dopamine=derealization Plus weed is a psychadelic. so with 1.a damaged amygdala -INCREASED FEAR, (sativa) 2.CBD - LESS NEURAL CONNECTIONS, 3.loss of dopamine - DREAMY/DISSOCIATED/DEREALIZED that seems like x3 exponential excerbator of HPPD. Ive done a lot of research on weed on the internet so thats my subjective experience. Many more factors key in like Indica or Sativa strains. Theres hundreds of chemicals in cannabis. sativa strains cause psychosis by making the feeling of a dream and paranoia while indicas just couch lock and apathetic ..... for me, indicas seem to cause a shit ton more floaters probably cuz im zoned out. ZONING OUT=FLOATERS/HPPD FOCUS=SANITY/REALITY Coffee increases dopamine, valerian root/Taurine decreases anxiety/green tea calms and increases dopamine. Magnesium is great. Meditation and Yoga are good. Ive found that doing scary stuff that pumps adreanline thru my body makes me feel more alive but thats just me. Not to mention Im diagnosed with ADD and ADHD so i have low dopamine levels to begin with ... when i smoked weed(sativa), the next day i had no control over myself and had a meltdown in school. if it was a job, i would have been fired. I was totally iritable, anxious . Then a couple days later the weed was leaving my system and I felt derealized maybe becuase of the loss of brain blood flow or loss of CBD(anti anxiety) IDK if this all makes sense but thats my subjective opinion, hope it helps.

Hey Im in the same predicament as you are in terms of psychology . im 19. (all of us seem to get hppd young since we arent fully mentally secure)... I have ADD plus ADHD. At least i am pretty sure that I do. I match every single criteria for it. Ok, ADD people have low blood brain levels. so weed temporarily increases it then decreases it the next day. read my other thread about this . but its especially hard for ADD becuase our natural low blood brain.

mycall 81 : pot made me severely depressed with floaters and suicidal thoughts the next day. and derealization . its probly cuz of its affect on the amygdala, which controls fear. plus the brain has less dopamine the day after. Low dopamine levels are associated with feeling "dreamy". that could explain the derealization . people often report feeling derealized after pot even without HPPD. anti-psychotics lower dopamine and tend to make hppd much worse. so the "weed hangover" leaves u with that effect. That combined with the affected amygdala(uncontrollable thoughts) is a complete exacerbator of HPPD according to my theory

yeah im addicted to pot but it makes me so much worse i have to quit

My friend thinks that HPPD can only be caused by man-made psychs like acid and research chemicals, But i got it from shrooms. Another theory: i took research chemicals 2 months before shrooms and they put me on a bad trip and i got derealization while i was on it. the drug could have planted the seed for derealization in my head and then the shrooms, 2 months later, put me on a bad trip becuase of the seed planted by research chemicals, so that gave me another bad trip to hell which caused noticable hppd

it seems that it starts out with a bad trip. like a trip to hell kinda. introverted and in your head the whole time. the derealization seed is planted. you continue to use drugs. the derealization keeps happening and the derealization seed grows. you then go on another trip with a drug like lsd shrooms dmt etc. with still unresolved issues since the dr/dp is planted, you going on an extreme trip to hell, this one is probably worse than the first one. you promise to quit drugs but its too late you have hppd. you dont really know what to make of it and dismiss it that it will go away. then you smoke pot or trip again or something and then it gets worse and u have hppd. it may be that research chemicals cause it more frequently . idk about that though. just an intuitive, theoretical assertion by the way DONT SMOKE POT I DID IT AND IT FUCKED ME UP . it may be that some people are more prone to derealization than others. im talking about the creative type of people. called the "dreamers". like musicians and artists and daydreamers. add and adhd type of people, since creativity is linked with insanity and psychosis, i think that people who have creative and less focused brains are more prone to hppd. especially if they have a weak mind like if they use drugs to cope with problems and escape reality people who take psychadelics with unresolved mental issues with bad set/setting get hppd One thing that we can do to help people avoid acquiring HPPD is to tell them not to use psychadelics to "get fucked up" or to try to cheat their way to enlightenment or taking psychs with egotistical intentions. Idk if some psychadelics are less likely to cause hppd than other psychadelics, some people say that natural ones like shrooms and dmt dont and that acid and research chemicals do. i should open a discusion about this. according to my theory, research chemicals, a non-natural chemical, could have planted the seed and shrooms exacerbated it. i dont really know anything.

im 5 months in and im dependant on weed i neeeeeeeed to quit. good luck keep in touch i guess.. i eat taurine which seems to help ...