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Shadowplay

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Everything posted by Shadowplay

  1. Same here mate. MDMA well called crystals in Spain too. I'm fucking sure it was something else. It looked a bit pink/white. The usual MDMA was slightly light brown with a smell of anis. This devil did not have these qualities. Just uncriminalize it already so people won't get sick or even die from using street drugs.
  2. I wouldn't call that HPPD, but visual distortions caused by hallucinogenic drugs. It's a very mild version of HPPD, but I wouldn't call it that since it doesn't sound like a daily interfering disorder. I understand that you feel uncomfortable with these symptoms though. It's great that you found out this soon enough before it got worse. Stay clean and you will be fine, if not, then these symptoms won't kill you either and you will get used to it. Good luck!
  3. HPPD can bring you anxiety, depression which is obvious since it's such a huge negative impact on our lives. But if our brains has been rewired to an anxious state and depression? I highly doubt that. There are numerous of succesful people with HPPD that doesn't suffer more of anxiety, depression or DP/DR than anyone else. It's a lot tougher, but manageable. Can a tramua such as a bad trip or the panic of getting HPPD in the first place put you into a state of DP/DR? Yes, most likely if you have psychological issues previously. I didn't think my psychological problems was worse than anyone else, I had a happy life with managable problems, but right now they are definately worse.. I never had a bad trip or panic attacks previously so maybe there's a chance that the DP/DR is induced by the drug itself. During a hallucinogenic trip the body is disconnected from the mind, there is a dissociation and derealisation, but you most-likely do appreciate it because the serotonin and dopamine levels are incredible high. You have all these kind of visual distortions too, but you like them because you are high. If you remove that high feeling what do you got left? HPPD basicly. Our mind is rewired and expanded by drug-use,, we are stuck in a trip without the great feelings. These are only theories, I can't prove anything but it does makes sense. Like I said there are many examples of HPPD sufferers that don't experience anxiety nor DP/DR or depression, most tend to do that though which is completly understandable.
  4. Had HPPD for 4-5 months. Been drinking 3 times with mates and going out etc. It did put me in some bad siutations, for example being tipsy and someone passing me a joint. Ofcourse I did say no. But as a few beers during the night makes me forget about my HPPD, maybe I'd do something stupid if I get too wasted. Other than that, no problems except hangovers lasts 2 days and I wasn't even drinking that much.
  5. Oh really, fuck that must be so disturbing. But what I've heard is that after-images is one of the most treatable visuals. And it might reduce over time. I have long trails on everything. About 300 floaters that I can see in any daylight everywhere, all the time. Long starburst, extreme light sensitive. Slight after-images. Strong CEV:s (has been decreased with Keppra). Widescreen mode is turned on. High contrast, increased colours. I have problems with recognition and expressions.
  6. Maybe it's related to derealisation if you're a sufferer of that? Mine is worst when I wake up. Had an unexpected nap yesterday, woke up really confused, headache and increased derealisation, which is a very trippy feeling indeed.
  7. I could never take naps due to the tension headaches it gives me. This was pre-HPPD and I've experienced a lot of sleep paralysis too in my younger days. The state before falling into sleep can produce a lot of CEV:s such as colours, patterns, tunnels. I did experience an OEV of an ashtounishing pattern of green spiderweb-liked advanced mathemathical pattern accross my whole vision when going into a hypnogogiac state. When I'm in a dark room, there is no difference from having my eyes shut or not. I still feel and see the walls and objects around me. 3rd eye open lol. My best advise to you is to start liking the CEV:s, which is easier said then done. But you better get used to it and it's nothing dangerous to be honest. Colours and geometrical patterns is something that I find beautiful and interesting. It can even help you sleep if you relax and focus on the visuals instead of your anxiety or thoughts. Why it gets intensified after sleeping is hard to tell. Maybe becayse of low blood pressure or drowsiness. Have some green tea with honey and get your body warmed up.
  8. They are negative, rarely positive. Some sufferers report seeing an object in their vision several seconds after changing their focus.
  9. I was lucky enough to not get too much after-images so I can't tell except for that I barely notice them. I got struck by the trails of hell instead. The facial expression after-image that gets stuck in my mind has been reduced though.
  10. Hi there. I would suggest you to try Keppra. It's great for after-images, not working for trails on me though. And it does reduce DP/DR and brainfog. It's not a cure but it definately helps me socially and mindwise. No side effects at all for me either currently. Every case is unique but this is something that you can try without taking risks. Show your local neurologist this study: "Levetiracetam efficacy in Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorders: a prospective study. Casa, B, Bosio, A. Drug Monitoring Service, New York NY; USA; Mater Dei Clinic, Rome, Italy. Journal of the Neurological Sciences, Volume 238, Supplement 1, 2005, p. S504. Abstracts of the XVIIIth World Congress of Neurology "Background: The occurrence of flashbacks following use of drugs is a recognised condition known as Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorders (HPPD), therapy for wlffch is based on neuroleptic and attticonvulsant medication. Tiffs prospective study assessed the efficacy of the novel antiepileptic drug levetiracetam (LEV) in treating patients with HPPD over a 1-year period. Method: Patients with HPPD were treated with LEV 1500 mg/day (500 mg in the morning, 1000 mg in the evening) for 1 year. Daily flashback frequency and electroencephalogram (EEG) assessments were conducted at Day 0, 15, 30, 60, 90, 180 and 360. The incidence of adverse events was monitored throughout the study. Results: 27 patients (121 males, 6 females), with a mean age of 21.8 (range 18-26) years, were enrolled. At baseline, mean daily flashback frequency was 9.3 (range 1-45) and EEG assessment demonstrated temporal slow patterns in all patients. Over the 1-year treatment period, 20/27 (74.1% ) patients became flashback-free. After 15 days, 7/27 (25.9% ) patients were already without clinical manifestations, with 6 patients demonstrating > 75% reduction in flashback frequency and 1 demonstrating 50-75% reduction. EEG patterns normalised in 18/27 (66.7% ) patients after 30 days and in 23/27 (85.2% ) after 90 days. 3/27 (11.1% ) patients continued to have flashbacks, despite complete disappearance of EEG abnormalities. Side effects were few in incidence and mild in severity. No patient discontinued treatment. Conclusions: This study demonstrated LEV to be highly efficacious in the treatment of HPPD, with very good tolerability and ease of use."" Good luck,
  11. Yep, that's the one I will ask my neurologist to try to get for me. Easier said then done probably but I'll give it a shot. The lingual gyrus is within the visual cortex. It's possible that it could be another part that's involved when it comes to HPPD, but as the symptoms are identical, I believe it's the same illness. It have to be proven though, however I believe that this research is great for us with HPPD as well. It's the closest that we will get to find more about these symptoms and a possible treatment.
  12. Yes, I agree with you. It's better to be sure than to speculate in anything. Well if you take me and Pinionlel for example, we both have anomalies in the left temporal lobe. That's where the derealisation and recognition of things and people, to understand expressions and emotions sits. That's definately a part of HPPD. It has been improved with Keppra. I will do another sleep EEG in 2 weeks, to confirm if it has been reduced or if it's the same. I will ask to get the exact same scan as the study too, to see if anything is shown. Didn't the user Merkan do an QEEG? What was his results? And didn't the guy from the netherlands that works for eyeonvision do a SPECT-scan with similar results?
  13. Congrats!! I'm so happy for you. Do you plan on tapering off Klonopin and/or Zoloft? Do you notice any side-effects of these drugs? Enjoy your life man You deserve it!
  14. Yes, that's right. How come you sceptisism? We don't know whether someone had HPPD or Visual Snow because it's easy to lie about it. I got a lot of help from denying use of drugs. Without it, I'm afraid I wouldn't. We don't either know if Visual Snow Syndrome is the actual illness and it's just the drugs that induce it. It's the exact same symptoms, they even have DP/DR and brainfog and can see geometrical patterns. I believe our problem is an over-stimulated left cerebral lobe and the hyper-metabolism in the lingual gyrus. Hopefully I will run some tests here in Sweden and we'll see if I get the same results as that study. I do also believe that many people deny use of drugs and just blame it on something else, that could be visual snow syndrome as well. Maybe every one of them in the study was psychonauts back in the days, who knows?
  15. It's the best stuff and our only hope that's out there right now. HPPD and Visual Snow Syndrome sufferers have the same anomalies in an advanced brain scan. What works for them will probably work for us. I've already donated a bunch to that page and I do advise anyone that's interested in a medical approach to do so too. The only thing that differs HPPD and Visual Snow Syndrome is that you took hallucinogenic drugs and others will judge you for it.
  16. Were you off Clonazepam for more than 6 months? Because that's usually when the brain has fully recovered from daily usage of bensodiazepines in the most cases. But every case is unique and it's possible to experience such side-effects that you are describing, it's very rare with Keppra though. I can't see how a vitamin supplement would make a medicine not work. However it helped me a lot to deal with the emotional issues such as irritation and anxiety/depression. I can't prove it, but it did a significant improvement when I started to use B-vitamins again. Maybe it was just symptoms of "coming off" a strong B-vitamine supplement, as I used it for roughly 3 months straight. Keppra doesn't do too much for my visuals though. Can I ask you how long it time it took for you until you noticed any visual decrease and at what dosage? Thanks.
  17. I think that almost everyone who has HPPD suffers from this. I've heard a lot of success when it comes to treating after-images with higher doses of Keppra. To avoid getting after-images, don't focus on the same spot too long. And don't look for it. Avoid enviroments with a lot of strong light. And wear sunglasses outdoors.
  18. In darkness visuals are very common. I had the same thing but it varies. At my worst these patterns took forms of animals and dream-like creatures.
  19. I noticed this on a random event and got pretty excited about it because it's quite beautiful and very interesting. I was eating with my family when the light of a candle was starbursting me heavily. Suddenly I started to having strong visuals within the starburst itself. I thought it was floaters at first, but this was totally different, and the shapes were mathematically correct and a pattern was obvious to notice. Today when the sun came out, it gave me a huge starburst and I gave this phenomena another try. By relaxing and having your eyes on the light in the starburst itself the pattern appears. After some research I found out that what I'm seeing is my own photoreceptor cells. That is incredible and it's unlikely BFEF or floaters something that you can normally see, unless you got HPPD I guess. Here are some pictures of photoreceptor cell cones which is the pattern I'm seeing within the starbursts: http://labs.nri.ucsb.edu/reese/benjamin/Images/Photoreceptors.jpg http://www.google.se/imgres?imgurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.mcw.edu%2FAOIP1%2Fimages%2Fgallery%2FAOSLO_peripheral_mosaic.jpg&imgrefurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.mcw.edu%2FAOIP%2FGallery%2FImages.htm&h=913&w=1000&tbnid=kH4Lg3L57B0EGM%3A&zoom=1&docid=mWGWrCgb3Pf6IM&ei=y7avVLqmIITpywPlwIJA&tbm=isch&ved=0CDoQMygyMDI4ZA&iact=rc&uact=3&dur=237&page=4&start=132&ndsp=44 I don't know what users that see geometrical patterns on walls and skies etc are seeing as I don't experience that. But could this be related? Also, wouldn't neuro-opthamologists be interested in patients that can see their own photoreceptors? I can't find a single example online of a similar report. If you do suffer from starbursts, please see within it and check if you also can see your photoreceptors.
  20. What dose are you at with Keppra? Are you eating any B vitamin supplements? It's crucial for me when on this medication. I've seen that you are experience some rare side-effects with Keppra such as an emotional numbness. In the report of the trials for Keppra only 1% reported this more then placebo. Are you sure that this is not due to the use of Clonazepam? Because for me, I got my feelings back with Keppra. I can finally re-connect to myself again on an emotional level. I guess every case is unique, but I mean since you are on the "optimal HPPD cocktail", how can you be so sure of what side-effect that is related to each medicine?
  21. Ran out of B-vitamin which increased depression heavily. When starting again anxiety and depression was lifted. Confirms the theory that Keppra is using up a lot of B6 in the system which leads to a deficiency of the vitamin. Symptoms of serious deficiency include muscle weakness, nervousness, irritability, depression, difficulty concentrating, and short-term memory loss. I advise anyone who tries Keppra to use a B-complex vitamin boost or pyridoxine.
  22. Thanks for sharing! I like the multi-faced statue in the back. You seem to have quite some strong variant of HPPD too. Too bad that it hasn't improved over the years. If I'm really going to get into the benefits of it I would say that I enjoy tripping in the dark when sleeping, watching CEV:s. It's a small free trip a few nights a week. I have a better sense of details because everything is very vivid, colorful and sharp. Landscapes can be very beautiful with sunglasses on, because of the "widescreen" effect, where my focus is disabled. I like grey weather, rainy days and nights more because of the light is denser. My ego has been reduced. I don't value things as much as before. This means I can value more important things such as health, friendship and music rather than money, clothing and material stuff. I'm not afraid of death. Even though depersonalization I have an increased self-aware. That's why I sometimes wonder if DP/DR really is what we are suffering of, or if it's something else. I mean I wouldn't be myself without HPPD. This is who I am now. There's no other option and there was never an "old" me. This is me and this is how it's suppose to be. Hopefully it will lead to something else but suffering and pain. I'm dedicated to the philosophy of fatalism.
  23. You got HPPD by a cat? And yet you sleep with cats? Fuck, I'd never go close one if that would be my cause. What an unfortune.. I got my first signs of HPPD in Spain too. What did you ingest? I got it from MDMA, but hey in Spain they call it crystal and it's basicly anything that pumps serotonin and makes your pupils huge. And I who thought that was safer than ecstasy pills. Because sometimes they are full of MDA, PMMA or even opiates. I guess you never know these days. My last drug usage was a half blotter acid that was probably the strongest trip I ever experienced. Wonder how much it contained.. Another theory is that we are more sensitive to hallucinogens. I always smoked less weed for same effect, got the sickest visuals and best trips than anyone in my company.
  24. Do you get confusing tension headaches in the morning? As soon as I get up they usually lift. But it makes me super-hard to not get up because of it sometimes. Happends 2-3 days a week, it could be related to bruxism and a tense jaw musculature. I had this problem but milder pre-HPPD.
  25. "Well Im sorry that if the rest of the world was born with perfect brain synapses and just walking around in lala-land and I can't tell if this fucking flower is real" Cracked me up a lot of times and you do recognize yourself completly in the movie. So hilarious. The director is actually a sufferer of depersonalization disoder. Yet he succesfully pulled this movie off. You have to see it if you haven't already! Great humor in it as well. Banging the shrink fuck yea! http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0795439/ Download link: https://oldpiratebay.org/torrent/12209646/Numb-2007-720p-BluRay-DTS-x264-SbR
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