Missjess

When I got hppd my anhedonia became very severe (I already had it before when I only had dp)

I cannot follow a movie, I cannot enjoy a single thing coz there is no sensory experience at all for me, not to mention I'm severely dissociated to the point of not even feeling like a human. I'm constantly waiting for the day to end, wondering what to do just to pass time but everything is so pointless. I can't get pleasure from anything !!! I can't connect to shit

Anyone else feel like this ?

And the worst thing is we can't even fuking take an anti depressant coz it wud fuk our hppd up!!

I've said before  that the first 6 months, i'd forget about meds, let your body try to adjust itself without any further strain to the system. Just get 100% sober (not even caffeine), get healthy, eat right and try to limit stress in anyway possible (even if that means quitting your job and locking yourself in a dark room watching movies.... or sit on a remote beach in brazil and try to find the beauty in life again).

 

The 1st year is the hardest, it would be such a waste of your life to end it now when you could be cured in a few months, or.. if not cured, in a better position to deal with this. I was suicidal for the first year too, but now.... although life is not perfect, it is still something I can enjoy

 

Please skype (jaybirch) if you ever need any support, a shoulder to cry on, someone to get angry at.... Anything goes. Just don't give up. We are all here for you and will always be.

 

Keep on fighting.... Their will be a light at the end of the tunnel.... It might seem far, far away right now, but it WILL come.

Thanks I will take ur advice on that!! I'm going to stay on my 12.5mg of lamictal tho coz that doesn't seem to aggrivate my hppd and it stops all the fuking crazy thoughts and keeps my mood a bit stable...but it's still hell no more sleeping pills, nothing! I learnt that I can't fuking take anything now or it just sets me back.

That wud be great to have u on skype I will add u when I can get the time.

Jess

Yeah it's impossible to be fuking happy with this shit.

Like wtf did we do to deserve this shit !??

And did it get better on it's own ?

Fuk that sux!! It sux we can't fuking drink alcohol anymore and have fun this is so shit

Alice-acid

How far have u come are u any better? How long have u had this shit for ?

Can u plz ask him if he wud email me ? I can't use my mobile here in Brazil ATM and the email u gave me didn't work.

Thank u

Hi leelalala

How long have u had this for ? It's just awfull all I want is my normal perception back :(

I'm taking only 12.5mg because when I tried to move up to 25mg it fuked me up and made my visuals aggrivated...so now I'm staying at 12.5mg as this gives me massive benefit to ocd and mental part of hppd, it helps keep me stabilized in a way...I won't try going up again coz even being back down to this dose my visuals r still worsened.

I went for a bike ride it was ok but rlly hard to ignore those awful brightened colours was yuk

I have had multiple healings for my hppd here in Brazil, but then all of a sudden something goes wrong and I go back a step. I took an anti biotic and that aggrivates my hppd and set me back. I got further healing and then I tried lamictal, I was fine on 12.5mg but then I tried to up the dose to not even 25mg and guess what it fuking knocked me back again!!! I am now I'm square 1 almost with hppd and I feel worse then ever. My patience is wearing out and I can't bear this any longer I'm completely in another universe trapped in a fuking horror show....I've only had this almost 4 months now but I can't fuking endure this shit for much longer.

John of god is going to tell me how many times I need to come back before I am healed but I'm afraid after being put back to square fuking 1 again it's going to be like starting again over and over again!! I'm not willing to try anymore fuking medications or supplements coz they all fuking knock me back and make my hppd worse FUK ThIS shit!

I think I will plan my suicide very soon...with morphine

I'm done with this fuking bullshit this is not life, I did not sign up for this crap. I try to make plans but I fuking can't anymore coz I'm so fuking disconnected. I don't want a relationship anymore I'm just fuked

Goodnight

I'm looking to get diagnosed with hppd when I get back home to apply for disability, and I'm not too keen on getting strange looks and having to explain myself over and over to every dam psychiatrist

Thank u

Well the symptoms did go away...I can take only 12.5mg of lamictal without the visuals getting worse and I've decided to keep taking that coz it's helping for depression and obsessive intrusive thoughts. I'm so glad my hppd mind has finally shut the fuk up !

Codeine is ok for me to take it actually makes me feel good

So wat happens when u try a med and it worsens ur visuals ...will that go away once ur off them or does ur visuals stay permanently more messed up?

Hey I wud rlly love to hear if u got better or stayed bad from lamictal...I'm currently on it and I tried to up my dose but my visuals got worse

I'm trying to decide whether to stay on it or not

Ok will do thanks!

It's unfortunate that I can't go up on lamictal Bcoz it gave me huge benefit for my mood and ocd thoughts!! A glutamate inhibitor rlly helps me...I may stay on 12.5mg still and try to go up later again? I'm not sure ...but if I'm allergic there's nothing I can do

If anyone could share there story or info about whether or not they have had success with keppra plz let me know.

I can no longer continue to take lamictal as I think I'm allergic to it and the side effects r terrible, I tried to go up just a quarter from 12.5mg and it wasn't good.

Thank u

Yeh I already know about the rash...when I started on 12.5mg I got a few red spots over my body but they went away after a few days...but now just moving up a quarter the side effects r so bad I don't think I can continue with this drug I very may well be allergic to it.

shud I try keppra? The side effects look awfull for that too

Well I had to take a histamine ...I got a red rash around my throat and chest and I felt rlly bad stomach cramps and sickness

Shud I try keppra? Or give up totally on medication

Hi everyone

I upped my dose by a quarter today (so almost at 25mg) I was fine in the morning and all day but now in the evening I noticed my visuals went a bit funny like they got agitated....shud I stop the lamictal? Or has anyone else gotten worse before better?

I rlly don't wana cause my visuals to get fuked up! It was ok on 12.5mg but now it seems to have gotten worse ....shud I keep going ?

This was the one!

Generic Name Brand Name

ciprofloxacin

im not on them anymore

im sure it doesnt matter what specific ones they were i wud react the same to all

U can see my recent update here

http://hppdonline.com/index.php?/topic/3553-brazil-for-treatment/page-5

Yep it was me !! Lol

Lol is there anyway of contacting this lady to let her know that she has hppd ?

Someone shud rlly let her know !!!

any updates?  Here is someone who got hppd from ayahuasca (tho she is unaware of hppd and calls it land-sickness) and seems have done every type of healing out there: http://dreyfalex.wordpress.com/2013/05/26/a-personal-experience-of-mdds-resulting-from-ayahuasca-experience/comment-page-1/#comment-13

Shit the poor lady !!

I drank ayahuasca 8 times I did not get hppd.

I will read the story now tho