Sam93

Does anyone else have this? My pupils are often very dialated in moderate to dark conditions and even with a few lights on in the room can look like this: http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=http://trialx.com/g/Dilated_Pupils-4.jpg&imgrefurl=http://trialx.com/curebyte/2012/08/22/images-related-to-dilated-pupils/&h=701&w=600&sz=85&tbnid=d-8RDkK4oC-FdM:&tbnh=112&tbnw=96&zoom=1&usg=__wJ1eGsKnX-6gy8osDS-9Ua-QeSk=&docid=fkcCpQo0LqZZcM&sa=X&ei=qOY4UreICuqh0QX58YH4AQ&ved=0CDYQ9QEwAQ My girlfriend has commented on this a few times and thought I was on drugs, but she knows of my condition and was understanding in the end haha. It's interesting because in bright light situations my pupils go tiny. Thank you muchly, Sam.

Yeah Magnesium does help but I've found herbs to help me relax and provide anxiolysis but not induce sleep for some reason, my brain has never been wired to fall asleep haha. The only thing is that Doxylamine is a 'potent anticholergenic' apparently which worries me slightly, although I don't know if this is common with all antihistamines as I assume this is what gives them their deleriant effect in excessive dosages. I've yet to try Melatonin though, the problem I have is my HPPD leaves me feeling quite stimulated, so I've been looking for something to knock me out, without going down the route of Z drugs or excessive BZD use. Thanks!

Yeah, I guess for £10 it's worth a go! Valerian does work, however it doesn't really have a profound effect and I've also experienced sleep paralysis on Valerian which was quite frightening haha. I'll have to look for some melatonin as I've struggled to find a source in the UK, and those that do sell it seem quite expensive. Yeah, I get quite bad closed eye visuals on occasion and also have some hypnagogia issues, namely muscle spasms when I'm drifting off that jerk me awake, never had this issue prior to HPPD!

I have terrible hay fever pretty much all year round and other allergy issues and take OTC antihistamines pretty much daily, so I would assume my histamine levels would be higher than normal? I was interested in this as it states it has anti allergy properties superior to most antihistamines bar Benadryl I have tried Valerian root but it gives me pretty weird dreams and leaves me feeling groggy the next day, I haven't tried melatonin though but I thought that was quite mild and I can't seem to find a cheap source in the UK. The only other thing that works is Benzo's which is not the route I want to go. Thanks!

Hey everyone Well, one of my biggest problems is falling asleep, it always has been pre-hppd and the problem has increased by orders of magnitude post-hppd. I was looking through some OTC sleeping pills and found Doxylamine, which is an anti histamine with supposedly powerful hypnotic properties. I looked on the Wikipedia page and read some reviews and it would appear it is one of the strongest sedatives available OTC, and studies have shown it to be as effective as Phenobarbital, sounds good in theory and certainly preferable to Z drugs and such, however I can't say I've ever used an antihistamine as a sleeping aid so would there be any problems with this in us HPPD'ers? Based on reviews by users it states that it knocks you flat out which sounds great, and has been deemed more effective than prescription hypnotics in a few reviews I've read. It is also extremely cheap at £10 for 192 tablets. Any thoughts? Cheers!

Hey there everyone, hope everyone's having a decent day. I'll get right to the point - my dilemma is this; As we all know, everyone's HPPD pathogenesis can be markedly different from the next, some respond exceptionally well to medications that others simply don't, and vice versa. Well, it seems that Benzo's pretty much nullify my HPPD, and in particular, my DP/DR. This is why I believe my DP/DR may be a resut of excitation in specific areas of the brain. My HPPD has always been quite mild on the visual side of things, however the DP/DR has always been quite strong. When I take a Benzo, this all changes. I feel much more inside my body and more connected to my emotions, they allow me to feel, whereas without them I feel very little. I suppose you could say they allow me to get to the place where I can actually enjoy my life and forget about HPPD, the DP/DR is basically all but none existant and the visuals are markedly reduced. The problem I am facing is this: I am in a situation where a pill nullifies a pretty disabling condition to the point where I can enjoy my life again. I am in no way addicted to Benzo's and use them sparingly, however a 1mg dose of Etizolam works wonders for my HPPD, DP/DR. If you look at Benzo equivalancy charts this would mean I would need 0.5mg Clonazepam to achieve the same effects, which I think is a very small dose. I'm not sure what to do, the once or twice a week that I take 1mg of Etizolam are fantastic and I really make the most of having my emotions back and a nice break from the visuals, however it's hard not to just take them more often. I am in no way a Benzo abuser as I don't see any recreational value in them, they just migitate my disorder massively where nothing else I have tried has done so. I have always had the attitude that I will do whatever it takes to get through life, and if this means swallowing a pill that pretty much nullifies a very disabling condition every morning then so be it. I have been using them very sparingly as of late and can control my use exceptionally well, however thie aforementioned attitude still persists, and 0.5mg of Clonazepam a day isn't much compared to people who are on 3mg a day or more. Any thoughts on the matter? Sorry if I rambled on there a bit! Thank you, and have a good day!

Ah, sorry to hear of your troubles. Maybe since studying with hppd is relatively new to you, you just need a little time to get used to studying in this altered state. All the best!

Indeed, I know that I'd much prefer to watch a video with interviews and visual simulations than to read a wall of text. Not only does this make it easier for people to empathise with the real people and actually see the suffering as a much more personal means of delivering information, it is likely to attract much more attention too. I'm based in the UK mate, specifically Derbyshire. So that makes it even easier. The production plan sounds like a good idea. What I think would be nice would be to interview people from the forums for the video. Whether that be over Skype, them sending in a video outlining their experience with HPPD, or whatever else you can think of! In any case, it would be a nice, communal thing to have us all contribute to, and raising awareness is something that definitely needs to be done. Cheers

Hey Odisa, Thought I'd check in and see how things were progressing. Sorry it's not worked out quite the way you've intended and hoped. The fact you have had positive experiences with Coluracetam is a very good sign though, and so hope is far from lost with your hypothesis, at least it's done SOMETHING. Maybe it is indeed a good idea to taper off your Keppra before experimenting further, there may be some unknown interaction going on or some 'negative synergy' that we don't know about. In any case, I hope things straighten out swiftly. All the best, Sam.

Hey there, hope everyone is well. Well I'll get right in to it, after reading the poll on the percentage of sufferers with DP/DR I deduced that almost as many sufferers experience DP/DR as those who do not, it seems to be pretty much 50/50. Many questions have arisen from these findings, but most of all, can DP/DR be separated from HPPD or is it simply interlinked somehow? Exploring this further, I made a thread not too long ago asking if any sufferers have experience remission of DP/DR but not other symptoms such as visuals and all the other nasties we have to endure, what I took from that thread, and also introductions and recovery stories, was that there have indeed been a fair few people who's DP/DR has subsided while their visuals and other symptoms have not. This leads me to believe that they are indeed separate entities. What they share in common is that the biggest (only) trigger for HPPD is prior ingestion of a hallucinogen, and one of the biggest triggers for DP/DR is prior ingestion of a hallucinogen, whether it be cannabis, LSD, MDMA, or whatever else. After much research on DP/DR on whatever I could find on the internet, the general consensus of the medical community at large at the present time seems to be that DP/DR results from EITHER: Unprocessed trauma A long history of anxiety, such as found in generalised anxiety disorder Prior build-up of stress PTSD And to a lesser extent, dissociative identity disorder. Why a hallucinogen would trigger this into a chronic state of dissociation remains largely unknown, but it is well documented that many, many cases of DP/DR are triggered by psychoactives. As you can see from the list of causes, they all have to do with excitation in the brain. Unprocessed trauma would seemingly cause underlying anxiety and stress, a history of anxiety is, neurologically speaking, a long period of time with an over excited brain. Prior buildup of stress is again, a prolonged period of time with an over excited brain. This leads me to believe that DP/DR is a result of over excitation in the brain, no matter what the CAUSE of that over excitation. Us HPPD'ers have over excitation in the brain also, which again, leads me to believe that the mind is responding in the same way as it would to large bouts of anxiety, stress etc. It is dissociating. Now, what can we conclude from this? Well, being as only half of sufferers experience DP/DR and the other half do not, it would be reasonable to draw upon the conclusion that it is not linked with the pathogenesis of HPPD entirely. I know I only experienced my chronic DP/DR after 2 weeks of constant anxiety and panic when my HPPD first onset, as I had no idea what it was and thought I was losing my marbles. HOWEVER, I do indeed have a history of anxiety and stress all the way through my childhood and teen years, and also have a history of abuse. How DP/DR seems to work is that if the history is there, then a trigger will set it off. Whether that trigger is a drug, a panic attack, a stressful life event or anything else. Thus, there are only 2 logical explanations for DP/DR in HPPD. Number 1 - It is a co-morbid disorder and was triggered by the use of a psychoactive substance in the same way it is triggered in 'pure' DP/DR sufferers, it just so happens that we have HPPD on top of that. I think this theory should be explored more, as we now know that 50% of the community suffer DP/DR and the other 50% do not, we also know that people have recovered or 'snapped out' of the DP/DR state while all other HPPD symptoms remain intact. Number 2 - DP/DR is directly linked to the HPPD pathogenesis, now there are many sub-theories as to why this would happen, such as: 1) Extreme anxiety/worry over the visuals, and since the brain interprets this as there being a threat in your environment everywhere you go, everywhere you are, there is absolutely no escape from the threat, and so the brain simply disconnects you from your environment as means to cope. This is basically what Complex-PTSD is defined as, and is how dissociation arises in Complex-PTSD, an inescapable threat. 2) The over-excitation in the brain as a result of our HPPD is causing a malfunction of communication between different areas of the brain. If specific areas of the brain are firing too fast then this can interfere with communication between other areas of the brain too. The brain would not know the difference between over-excitation caused by HPPD and over-excitation caused by stressors and anxieties, and since HPPD shows dis inhibition across the whole cerebral cortex, quote: The cerebral cortex plays a key role in memory,attention, perceptual awareness, thought, language, and consciousness Note 'perceptual awareness and consciousness' This would also explain why we respond wildly different to medications as far as DP/DR goes. Some people have gotten remission of DP/DR with Keppra, but not others. Some with Benzodiazepines, but not others etc. Sorry for the huge wall of text, I've forgotten what I've wrote already so apologies if it's a bit rough on the old cognition. Any thoughts and feedback would be more than welcome. Thanks.

I was just thinking the same thing yesterday about a video with interviews from sufferers and the like. A video is much more digestible than textual information I find.

This is a great idea and would be something the whole forum could contribute to, if they wished. I agree something like this is needed, in particular for newcomers who may not know that they even have HPPD. I think I can speak for everyone here when I say that the lack of information on HPPD at first onset is extremely daunting and disheartening, it caused me some pretty serious anxiety anyway knowing that I was stuck with something that not even medical professionals could really help with. Good luck and I'd be glad to offer any assistance if needed. I've worked in ICT for a number of years and I'm quite competent at graphics design and web development which could prove useful.

Yeah, 1mg was my usual dose. My first time taking Etizolam I took .5 and didn't feel much either interestingly, so I thought, hmm this must be weak, so I took another 2mg and was unable to walk properly. You should be able to feel 1mg in about an hour. Under .5 is a very small dose, if it was .4 then that's equivalent to 4mg Diazepam, which isn't much. There's also other considerations to take into account such as a full/empty stomach, and if you broke a bit of the tablet off then there's always the possibility that the active is not spread out evenly throughout the pill. I'd recommend you give it a try with 1mg on an empty stomach and see how you feel. 1mg won't knock you out or anything crazy. 1mg is the equivalent to .5 of Clonazepam so it's not too heavy.

Etizolam definitely posesses hypnotic effects, however if I'm concentrating on something or socialising then those effects don't come into effect. It's when you have nothing to do that the hypnotic effects become noticable. That's only when I take 2mg however. 1mg of Etizolam is VERY nice though. Reduced visuals, completely eliminated anxiety and a huge relaxing mood lift, without the brain fog, confusion and 'flatness' of other Benzo's. Actually looking back I've been quite productive on Etizolam at times. Also the big one for me, no benzo hangover whatsoever and actually has a nice, warm, mood lifted afterglow. It is unlike any benzo or sedative I have ever taken. The reports of tolerance usually stem from people of quite an abusive nature who really over do it. As can be seen from studies, there is reverse tolerance to the anxiolytic effects, or if you prefer, upregulation of alpha2 subunits, there is also no tolerance to the anticonvulsant effects as opposed to other benzodiazpines, and no cognitive decline associated with Etizolam. I'd rate it much higher than Clonazepam for sure. Another note on the tolerance/addiction issue, I took Etizolam for 2 weeks straight, 1 to 2mg every day with no tolerance whatsoever, then for the next 3 weeks I took it maybe 3 or 4 times a week at the same dose, then stopped abruptly for over a week with no withdrawals or rebound anxiety whatsoever. I now take it once or twice a week with no problems.

My experience was great, it is the only chemical I've ingested post-hppd that had a definite lessening effect on my DP/DR. Visuals were reduced a little and it completely eliminated any anxiety, it was impossible to get anxious actually. It didn't feel like I took any thing at all, I just had no anxiety whatsoever, however, it did make me a little more nasty toward people which was a weird side effect. And I'd assume that due to it's short half life (6 hours) and high binding affinity to a2 subtypes it would be very likely to cause rebound anxiety, this would be one to take sparingly in situations where one is likely to suffer from anxiety. Etizolam is definitely the more interesting one. I swear by it. The only problem with it is if I take over 2mg (which reduces visuals and makes me feel quite normal) I just fall asleep.

Oh by the way StateOfRegret, if you're interested in a purely anxiolytic benzo with no sedation then look at Pyrazolam. It's almost purely an anxiolytic with anticonvulsion action too. If you look at the binding chart it is extremely selective for a2 and a3, particularly a2. It is also completely legal, in the UK anyway. I've tried this myself. Pyrazolam is a benzodiazepine derivative originally developed by a team lead by Leo Sternbach at Hoffman-La Roche in the 1970s.[1] It is mainly an anxiolytic, but it has also shown anticonvulsant and hypnotic effects.[2] Pyrazolam has no active metabolites[3] and has activity 12x stronger than diazepam while causing little ataxia and sedation. It is most selective for the α2 and α3 receptor subtypes.[4] Binding data (GABA):[citation needed] α1 3.84±0.25 α2 1.31±0.19 α3 1.48±0.21 α5 3.72±0.32

Me too, if I sleep/nap in the day then my DP/DR gets a hell of a lot worse. If I oversleep or undersleep then it takes me til the next period of normal sleep to feel 'right' again.

Well at least there's something in the future that could potentially work. If I had 15 minutes of freedom from DP/DR I'd cherish those 15 minutes more than I'd cherish a lifetime haha. What would be nice to understand is why stimulating those areas of the brain bought about a relief of DP/DR.

I notice you talk about it in the past tense, does this mean you are free of DP/DR or even HPPD now, or is that me being overanalytical? haha

Indeed, it's very mysterious. This needs to be looked into further as if it is indeed a seperate condition then treatment would be much different. It is well known that drugs can TRIGGER DP/DR, and one can overcome it with proper treatment, what is not known is if the dissociation is a result of the extra excitation in the brains of HPPD sufferers. What I'm trying to say is that if it is indeed a condition that is 'tied in' with the HPPD pathogenesis itself, then there would be no use trying various therapies and techniques to cure the DP/DR, as the underlying cause would still be there.

This is what I don't understand about DP/DR with HPPD. Some people consider it a seperate condition entirely resulting from the stress/anxiety of HPPD, and some people consider it part of HPPD and due to the overexcitation in the brain. We now know that there have been cases of the DP/DR going away even when visuals have not, but there have also been cases where medications such as Keppra/Clonazepam have improved visuals/dp synergistically, leading one to think that they are linked. I don't suffer with anxiety much at all yet still have a constant level of DP/DR, so it's definitely not anxiety linked.

Hi there, I found that information in a study, it is saved on my computer somewhere but I don't have access to my computer at the minute so I'll have to copy a brief portion found on google. However, the major difference [between other benzos] is in selective and high affinity binding to the alpha2 subunit of postsynaptic GABAA receptor subtype. This alpha2 subunit activation results in specific anxiolytic effect. Further, [etizolam] is suggested to possess less potential for causing "rebound anxiety" on drug withdrawal because it does not cause alpha4 subunit upregulation as compared to lorazepam. (I'll get the proper study to you when I have my laptop back ) I'm not too sure what is meant by pre and post synaptic receptors. I have a rough idea but perhaps somebody would be so kind as to tell me, for instance, what the difference would be in blocking pre synaptic / post synaptic calcium channels? There is sound evidence however, that etizolam upregulates alpha 2 subtypes, so maybe this was mistaken for Etizolam being more selective for A2 when in actuality the A2 subtypes were simply getting upregulated with use. What I'd like to find out, and what has not been studied, is the fact that Etizolam shows TCA properties. How would a Benzo raise levels of SE and NE? I know Clonazepam reduces the binding affinity of 5HT so I suppose it's not impossible. It's a very interesting compound anyway. I use this as I find it much more effective than Clonazepam, and there is a distinct mood lift not seen with other Benzos in my experience. In addition, I have had no issues with tolerance and have never had to raise my dose any to achieve the same effects. I used it for a solid week once and it definitely became more effective the more I used it, so the upregulation of A2 receptors must have something to it. Sorry if this post didn't make much sense, I'm a bit tired haha.

No problem, it's strange isn't it! I can definitely vouch for that effect though as the more I've taken it the more effective it has become. The withdrawals are much gentler than other BZD's according to reports too. Yeah it worries me a little too, although I've not been able to find any information on how this effect is mediated at all, which would be interesting to know.