Sam93

Cheers Jay, Do you notice any rebound anxiety or any other ill effects the day after your 3 days on Kpin at all? I noticed reading your posts from a while back that you said 2mg gave you a 70% reduction in visuals, and I see that you've dropped that down to 1.5mg, was there any reason for that? Not to be a nosey bugger, I only ask because 2mg leaves me a bit spaced to the point people notice I'm on something, and I've never tried a 1.5mg dose. The main thing for me is that it mitigates the dissociation somewhat, and I've had fairly normal days since 'contracting' hppd, which keeps me sane in a way, haha.

Hey, That does sound extremely interesting. I'm curious to know, if Coluracetam inhibits excitation in the visual cortex then why should it be that some of the effects reported are colour enhancement, trails and tracers etc, which would suggest excitation rather than inhibition? Would this not be bad for us HPPDers and increase the severity of our trails etc? From the reports I've read it seems like a mild psychedelic on it's own. It does seem that it could be quite helpful for DP/DR too. The Racetams are such fascinating compounds.

Ok, thank you for the advice. I have quite a good relationship with my GP as I've seen him for years and he has generally been quite liberal with prescriptions, so we shall see. As far as Kava Kava goes I believe that is illegal in my country as far as I'm aware. Cheers.

Ah I see, I'll have to inquire about that and see if my GP would be willing to give it a go. Can I ask if Keppra worked for you at all?

Hi there, thanks for your reply. I like your idea of having one in your wallet, I have a bottle of 100 Klono currently and have been taking them on the days I've been struggling to cope, which is usually sundays where I have absolutely nothing to do all day, if I'm not with my girlfriend that is. As far as more sustainable treatments go, I've just been looking into private neuros/specialists in the UK. I'd like to try Sinemet or Keppra but I think it's going to be a big challenge attempting to get those prescribed in the UK. The neuro that prescribed me Klono flat out refused to even give me a trial run on Keppra or Sinemet. EDIT: I was looking into Phenibut myself, how does it compare to benzos as far as relief from HPPD goes? I would've thought that it would be more beneficial as benzos are typically GABA-a agonists while Phenibut (as far as I'm aware) is a GABA-b agonist, and in HPPD it seems to be GABA-b dis inhibition that is the problem, although I could be completely wrong on that one. Thanks.

Hey guys, I know of Coluracetam but could anyone explain to me why this should be helpful to us HPPD'ers? I have a good understanding of pharmacology/neurochemistry but Coluracetam isn't something I've looked into or been able to find much information on. Cheers.

Hi Syntheso, thanks for the reply. I do know that will power is the main thing I need to put into practice so I don't get into a vicious pattern of benzo abuse, but it's just the psychological ideology that if I do something as mundane as swallowing a pill, I have great relief for an entire day. It's so easy. On the up side though, a day where I do take Klono is a day to look forward to, and I think I make the most of those days a lot more because you appreciate them that much more. The main thing for me is that my DP/DR is quite bad and Klono gives me some emotion back. Another question that comes to mind is, say if I take 2mg of Klono, how long do I have to wait before my tolerance dies down to the point where it'd have the same effect as the first time I took it? I hope that makes sense. Basically, if I took 2MG of Klono every sunday, would tolerance likely to be an issue at all or would the relief be quite consistent dosing in that manner? Thank you.

Hey guys! Well I managed to get a Klono prescription after visiting a private neuro and I know I posted before that it didnt work, but after a few more tries it is working brilliantly, basically hppd free, both visuals and dpdr after a 2mg dose, the drowsiness isn't great but that's a side effect I can live with. I know Klono should be used as a magic bullet for those situations you need some relief, or just used sparingly one day a week as a hppd free day, but its so hard not to say F it and take them every day and just be done with this nonsense for a while. But at the same time, I really don't want to mess this magic bullet up. Does anyone have any advice on how to control my use of Benzos? I don't want an addiction under my belt as well as the horror of hppd but it really does give me my life back. Thanks and hope you all have a good day.

Hi there, Can I ask what area of the brain you targeted on the occasion you became DP free for that short duration? Thanks.

Hi there, I managed to get hold of some clonazepam and tried a 2mg dose to see what relief it would bring. While it did reduce my visuals and snow to almost nothing it did absolutely nothing for my DP/DR. The dissociation is definitely not anxiety related as I don't suffer with anxiety at all. I'm struggling to think what to do next, the dissociation is killing me. I don't even feel alive any more and nothing feels real, I have the emotions of a robot. It wouldn't be so hard if I could enjoy things but its pretty much impossible when you don't feel emotions. I really don't see why I have such bad dissociation as my hppd is relatively mild, aside from the visual snow which isn't all that bad my only complaints are trails, tracers, after images and very light patterning if I stare at a wall etc. basically if I'm outside my vision looks completely normal, so why I have such extreme detachment is beyond me. Thanks.

Interesting information, thank you for that. By tDCS I assume you mean Transcranial direct-current stimulation right? I'm not too familiar with that but your results do sound interesting! Indeed there does seem to be dysfunction in the fear response, as my startle response has definitely declined significantly post-hppd. With DP/DR it is all emotional response that is declined or 'numbed' and not just fear though I suppose. Perhaps due to the cerebral dis-inhibition and hyperexcitability in the brain, somewhere in the brain the hyper excitability has been 'mistaken' for strong anxiety and as a result, dissociation has happened? Just a wild theory. I do think our DP/DR is slightly different to that of full blown depersonalization disorder or dissociation from PTSD for instance. For example, if I hear something funny enough, I can still cry with laughter, or I can still appreciate music, or a beautiful scenery in nature etc. It's just the emotional response that is missing. Maybe this is some dysfunction in some part of the brain that deals with emotional response to external stimuli (Possibly the Amygdala?) or perhaps it could even be a dopamine issue / something wrong in the rewards system, who knows. I suppose in DP/DR there seems to be a blockade or disruption of communication between the areas of the brain that deal with emotions/emotional responses and the areas that deal with our experience of reality/consciousness. However I do know Science is far from understanding the Neurochemical/Psychological mechanism behind consciousness. What makes me think it's more than just an excitatory issue is the fact that sedatives such as benzodiazepines do absolutely nothing for my DP/DR, Thanks for your post! Sam.

Hello everyone, I was just wondering why Clonazepam is the benzo of choice for the treatment of HPPD? As in, what properties does this particular Benzo hold that makes it suitable for HPPD as opposed to other Benzo's such as Xanax, Valium, Nitrazepam etc? I know Clonazepam has a moderately long half life of up to 50 hours but it got me thinking that a benzo with a longer half life such as Diazepam (up to 300 hours I believe) would be more suited? I do know Clonazepam reduces the binding affinity of Seretonin at receptor sites, is this the reason why? I've experimented with a few different Benzo's post-hppd and it seems that the more anxiolytic Benzos do very little for my visuals and the more hypnotic/sedative Benzos help them a lot. I have yet to try Clonazepam.

Hi everyone, I've been thinking about this particular symptom and the reasons why us HPPDers have it, has there ever been any research in to why we should have DP/DR? This is an inescapable symptom for me and is by far the worst. I do know that DP/DR type symptoms are usually a co-morbid symptom with anxiety, however I barely suffer with any anxiety yet am still dissociated constantly, it never changes or fluctuates, it is always the same. One theory I came up with was that at the start of the onset of HPPD, most of us had extreme anxiety and since there was no escape to the 'threat' (our vision) the only thing our brains could do was dissociate us to escape from it, like a defence mechanism. I guess you can't escape from your senses and extreme anxiety from something you can't escape from is much different to worrying about a final exam or financial troubles etc. Unless something has actually changed in our neurochemistry and this symptom is a result of that? As Psychedelics agonise 5HT receptors which in turn overload NMDA receptors to provide their effects I believe (Correct me if I'm wrong), and NMDA receptors are the main receptors targeted from dissociatives such as Ketamine etc, perhaps this is why, as our NMDA receptors are still overloaded and as a result, we have dissociation? Perhaps an NMDA receptor agonist would provide relief from this symptom? Although I can't think of any.

Hi, thanks for your reply Currently I'm supplementing with Vitamin C, Vitamin B complex, Omega 3, N Acetyl Cysteine and Magnesium, and have tried some legal benzos (in my country anyway) namely Etizolam and Pyrazolam which do help the visuals a lot, however they are expensive and I don't think I'll bother. Living healthily and getting in to a routine has definitely helped however.

Hello everyone Great to finally be on the forums after lurking for a while, my name's Sam and I'm 20 years old currently living in Derbyshire, England. I developed HPPD after a trip on 25b-nBOME, which is the only hallucinogen I've ever taken. I pretty much woke up with the HPPD the day after the trip and it has not improved in the 3 months since, if anything it has got slightly worse. My main symptoms are visual snow, patterns on surfaces, wobbly edges, long trails/after-images and slight movement of objects when I look at them for more than a few seconds, and letters flashing with different colours. However my worst symptom by far is the dissociation (or DP/DR if you like?) I feel very disconnected from myself, my surroundings and my emotions. The first week after developing HPPD I couldn't leave the house due to the extreme anxiety and panic attacks I was suffering, along with withdrawals from a lengthy drug binge I was coming down from. I suffer with OCD also which does not help and came very close to ending my life, but I tried to keep myself as busy as possible and fight through it. About a month ago I decided to go back to college and have been very fortunate to make some good friends and even meet my current girlfriend, the anxiety has died down a lot as well and I am at the point where I can function in day to day life again. However, I am still left with a bad case of dissociation, The worst symptom of which is not being able to feel or experience much emotion. Situations which would normally provide an emotional response such as looking at a sunset, cuddling with a girl or someone telling a funny joke don't provide an emotional response any more, I just feel numb. I know the emotions are still there underneath this but I feel disconnected from them/unable to 'access' them. If this symptom went away then I really wouldn't care about the others. I haven't tried any medications as of yet as I am only 3 months in and so am hoping/praying for a natural recovery, however I have tried Benzo's a few times which help immensely with my visuals but do very little for my DP/DR sadly, in fact nothing seems to help the DP/DR. One thing I will say about my HPPD is I think it came for a reason, I was a bad drug addict for 4 years before my HPPD came along, and I can say with 100% confidence that if I didn't develop HPPD and stop using, I would be dead for sure. I didn't even admit I had a problem to myself before, but since then I have told my parents about my HPPD and my drug addiction, who have been overwhelmingly supportive despite being worried sick. My life now consists of trying my best to perform well at college, getting out with my mates as much as I can and spending time with my girlfriend, as well as staying sober. I plan to start attending Narcotics Anonymous meetings to help with my drug problems and am trying to keep as positive as I can, which is all we can do I suppose. Apologies this was a lengthy introduction, but it's very nice to meet you all and I look forward to speaking with you all in the near future. God bless -Sam