415_stylee

I´m here! I thought about changing my nickname, but I kept the old one so I would not be a total stranger..

Interesting to know. I don´t use any diet, I basically try to eat from every food group every day. As natural and balanced as possible is my motto. I never eat much refined sugar or too much fat (saturated and trans fat), since I really feel bad when I eat them. I eat meat, grain, fat, fruit, vegetables etc. every day. My vitamin, mineral, insulin, metabolism values etc. are impeccable. I recently did a large blood test (5 test tubes of blood) to check my values. All were excellent. I´m really sceptical about diets, upon studying them I don´t find a really strong scientific basis for them. Apart from pseudoscience. It seems to be a way for writers to sell books about one diet after another. Many who I know have gotten really sick from GI and Atkins (high fat, low carb diets), and had to discontinue the diet. I have read about ketogenic diet as well, it seems to have a better basis. But I also read " The diet mimics aspects of starvation by forcing the body to burn fats rather than carbohydrates." Starvation is generally taxing on the body, this diet should probably not be used for too long time. Your blood type can actually be more significant to what you should eat than anything else. Since the blood types evolved from what types of food were available. I have bloodtype B, so I´m constructed for a nearly omnivore type of eating. A have a profiency for grain, 0 have a profiency for meat. But you should do what you feel works best!

Hope you get it, 1998! I've been thinking about applying for disability (called sjukpension in Sweden). I'm currently on what might be explained as time-limited pension, which has to be re-applied every now and then. Not very safe! Sjukpension (roughly translated to sick-pension) is life-long and cannot be questioned in the same way. Since my health is so bad that I barely can manage buying food for myself, hang out with people and even walking short distances, I have admitted to myself that applying for disability might be the best and most realistic option. I'm 99% sure that I'll never be able to have a full-time job again (no improvement for 5 years, my conditions seem to be of the permanent type). Besides, I will get a lot more rights if I get disability, now I have a risk of being stripped of my pension-income and sent to the unemployment office with only social welfare checks to survive (barely) on. So disability is a lot safer. But it seems to be very likely, from reading the posts here, that I'll get a negative answer. I would really need a lawyer, but they are darn expensive in Sweden. Like you said, Polly, the hardest part is admitting to oneself that you need to get disability. When I first got all the conditions that I still have, I had a lot of hope for coming back to health and a "normal" life again. Now, 5 years later, I know it won't happen. Disability is the best option for me. It's my lot in life, and I'll just have to accept it fully.

Congratulations! Good to hear you're feeling really well, it sounds like an intresting subject to study too. Best wishes! BTW drop me a line here if you wish to meet up, I live in Gothenburg.

Good to hear that you're feeling better! I know it might sound impossible, but the "strange and foreign" feeling will feel natural in time. So will having HPPD and disequilibrium as well. It's one of the wonders of the body & mind, how adaptable they are. But it will take quite some time (and blood, sweat & tears ) before they adapt! I guess it's a survival mechanism.. From my experience, having HPPD and disequilibrium for 5 years now, none of the symptoms have improved, but my attitude towards them have. And with that, my mood has improved. I've adapted to my disorders a lot, but they still hamper me from functioning entirely (I'm on disability). But I can live with it now, something I thought I would never be able to do in the first years. You seem to have a good chance of recovering entirely, and I hope you do! Best wishes!

DR will probably disappear or at least decrease, it just takes time. DR is fueled by anxiety, and the anxiety is mostly (when one has HPPD) fueled by difficulty for ones mind to adjust to the new state of being (HPPD). For me, it took a few years before I truly accepted living with HPPD. Under that time, the more I adjusted, the more the anxiety decreased, the more DR decreased. I still get some DR episodes sometimes, but they're manageable. DR usually made me think that I was losing all touch with reality and becoming completely psychotic, but in the end I learned that those strange sensations and dissociation were nothing but nasty, but harmless, DR. I would convince myself in my mind when the DR episodes came; "You're not going psychotic, it's just DR, you've had it many times before and you know exactly how it feels", which would take the edge of the DR. Regarding medicine, I've not taken any benzos so I can't speak for them, but some substances can actually trigger DR. High doses of caffeine should be avoided. Antihistamines can really make the brain foggy, which isn't really good for DR. You'll probably feel better in time. Remember that DR + anxiety = more DR with longer duration. When you get scared don't run away from the fear. Face it, and take control over it. It'll dissipate the anxiety, and with that the DR. Time will do the rest. The " scarriest feeling in the pit of my stomach" is a typical sign of anxiety. Remember that flashback are quick, intense and short (like 15 seconds). DR is more vague and goes on for a longer time (hours and days) with a few spikes.

I recognize that all to well, got exactly the same problem, word by word! I'll post my results from the protein fraction test here, should be getting them soon..

That virus can cause a lot of trouble in the body, yes. Researchers also found XMRV virus in some CFS patients, but the protein fraction test seems to be the one which might best prove CFS in a person. Though, it could be good to test for those viruses too.. One can never be entirely sure!

I have about 10% of my former capacity left. Joint and muscle ache, exhaustion from nothing. So I searched for what might be causing it, and found out that I check in for all symptoms of myalgic encephalomyelitis (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome). My doctor sent me to take a blood test for protein fractions (some fractions indicate CFS). I haven't got the results yet though. I recommend all of you who feel abnormal fatigue to check it up, it might be CFS, but it could be something worse. So do it in time!

Plan it well. And ask for help from relatives, friends etc. If you're going to move that far it's probably best to transport your stuff by train. Regarding anxiety and DP/DR, it's best to not get to stressed or strained. They go haywire from it.. Therefore plan it well, pack your stuff in good time, book transportation, and of course, have an empty apartment ready! Remember that you usually don't have to move everything in right away. I recently moved myself, and I got the apartment so abruptly that I couldn't plan anything. It has been a rush that nearly wrecked me mentally and physically, I even became a bit suicidal. I'm still recovering from it.. So try to avoid such situations by doing what's necessary to move in GOOD TIME! Regarding family and friends, that might be the hardest part to depart from. Try to travel home and visit them sometimes, Skype works very well for keeping in touch in the mean time.

It´ll all get easier to live with in time. Like Jay said, your coping mechanism will improve. HPPD is a major change in ones life, almost like losing a loved one, a leg, being robbed etc. It'll take a long time to adjust to, that your life has changed permanently. It all needs to "sink in" in ones consciousness. I have adjusted to my new life to nearly a 100%. I have not quit tobacco, alcohol, caffeine (I'm more careful though). But I have quit all psychedelics and cannabis, Like you say, ramblington, it can be therapeutic to have a beer with ones friends. What is important to remember is when to pull the brakes, to know ones limits. With HPPD, you are more fragile and sensitive than before. Personally, I don't have any major adverse effects with caffeine, alcohol, or tobacco (might be so because I have ADHD, so my brain chemistry is a bit different). I thinl it's a danger to get to locked in with living 100% strict with diets and medicine. That'll just make you depressed (it made myself not wanting to go on living). If you lock yourself away from the life outside the walls of your home, your well-being will not exactly improve. My advice is: live your life to as great extent as you can manage, drink beer with your friends, laugh etc. But remember to pull the brakes and rest if your HPPD or DP/DR flares up, or you feel fatigued. Stay clear of cannabis and psychedelics at least. You'll find your way to live your life in time, how to do it differs for all people. Myself, I have not had any improvement in the HPPD symptoms, but I have for the last year really begun to feel that life goes on. My vision is messed up, the surrondings are warping, colors shift, kaleidoscopic patterning makes nasty visits sometimes. But hey, I can live with it. I have done so for the last 5 years, and I can do it for the years to come. It's not the end, but rather a new beginning. For a life where you know your limits and respect your body and mind. Where you´ll probably come to some conclusion to what matters in life, and what isn't worth wasting it on. I'm sure you'll feel better soon! Hope my reply was helpful in some way! Also, look up CBT if you're having too much anxiety, coping issues etc. CBT has helped many, myself included.

They are supposed to show color confusion, but it hit the upload quota, so I couldn't upload their "original" or "altered" twin pictures. But I have them..

These were some examples, I hit the upload qouta.. So, to whom can I send all of them? They really belong in the gallery section..

So, I have large quantity of pictures that I have saved from the old forum, or collected on the web. I have not figured out how to post them in the gallery, so I´ll post them here. Maybe an admin could add them to the gallery? I only wish to contribute to the forum..

I have this "illusory movement" symptom to an extreme degree, from what I remember that symptom got added after a high dose of LSA (nature's answer to LSD). Walls, floors objects etc. etc. breathes, sways, zips back and forth, tilts, curves. I feel like I'm in a boat in a stormy ocean many times. Edges of objects jitters (maybe my visual cortex has poor anti-aliasing? ) and looks "melty" and fuzzy. It is one of the top most annoying symptoms for me. Remember that what your visual input tells your vestibular system, will be taken as a command to that very same system. Which means if your visual input is distorted (warped, tilted, breathing etc.) your vestibular system will adapt to that information. Conclusion: you will feel dizzy. Read more about sense of balance (Equilibrioception) here. I have undergone many tests such as CT scan, blood tests etc. all with negative results so far. No tumors, lack of vitamins etc. I take it from reading your post that you might not have had HPPD for a very long time. I did the same in the beginning, read about every thinkable disease, always expecting the worst. Now, over 5 years since HPPD onset, I have a clearer picture of what I have and don't have. If you're worried, do an MRI or CT of the head, check inbalances in the metabolic, vitamin, mineral levels. Also check s-protein fractions (which I'll do myself soon because of suspected CFS). There are many conditions which can alter the sense of balance, and your general sense of health. What I'm trying to convey is: it's like 95 % sure that your dizziness is caused by HPPD. If you're still unsure, persuade your doctor to test or remit you for whatever condition you're worried about. It's a million times better to have clear, clinical answers than to ponder your head apart.. trust me! Hope my reply was helpful! Good luck!

I´m looking forward to it. The last years winters have been long, harsh and cold here in Sweden. So I hope it will be a warm summer this year! I don´t have much money so I can´t travel far.. I´ll probably be with my GF and friends, walking in the beautiful forests close to where I live, smoking some shisha (oriental water pipe) outside, bathing in the local lakes and in the sea. Yeah it´ll be a great summer at home!

Party and scream in happiness! No seriously.. I have had HPPD for 5 years now and have got quite used to it, and I can hardly remember what "normal" vision looks like.. So I would probably have some kind of "HPPD withdrawal". Maybe I would have mixed feelings of euphoria and sorrow. But the euphoria would be the winner after a while!

Things can really look weird in low-light conditions (especially with HPPD). When I walk outside in the night, I see people everywhere, which makes me quite nervous! I don´t really live in a nice calm neighborhood. Upon closer inspection, those "people" turns out to be trash bins and bushes! But they really looked like living, moving people. I have severe "illusions of movement" and things can blend together often (acid style), which breathes life into those inanimate objects..

Their effects still fascinates me, but I would never use them again.

Did it smell or taste weird? PCP smells very different from cannabis "a bit like burnt rubber, or bad body odour" I read somewhere. Some strains of cannabis can, as pennyarcade says, cause really trippy effects. Some strains I used myself caused quite potent CEV's, even some OEV's, strong dissociation and sometimes even hallucinations (saw a dead-looking person staring at me, and a head came out of the TV). Those strains had a pungent, spicy smell. They were not laced, but very potent with lots of THC crystals in them. Longest duration I experienced myself was 9 hours, from orally ingested hashish of a potent strain. What I`m saying is that cannabis is a very unpredictable drug, strains can vary widely effects-wise. And they might cause flashbacks, but they're experts in causing DP/DR. Not a good idea to use it at all, I think. Erowid classes cannabis as an "Intoxicant; Stimulant; Psychedelic; Depressant" My link

Sweden

I had a terrible experience with Sertraline (Zoloft). Dilated pupils, increased visuals, close-to-mania state of mind. Trembled really bad for a long time too. Like the worst and longest lasting bad psychedelic trip ever.. That experience triggered frequent (several times a day) panic attacks, which took a long time (years) to rid myself of. SSRI´s are not a good idea to take if you have HPPD.. Something is messed up with serotonin as well, it seems. Like the whole system is extra fragile and can´t be changed up or down without consequences. This case report suggests that Reboxetine (NARI) is a better option for an HPPD-sufferer. My doctor offered to perscribe them, but since I do not suffer from clinical depression, I don´t see the point in taking them. This should also be taken in consideration before taking any antidepressant. Determine whether it´s clinical, severe depression or not. You should probably try Reboxetine if you´re depressed (and have HPPD). Seems to work a whole lot better than SSRI´s atleast.

Indeed.. LSD-like panic from risperidone in post-LSD visual disorder.

Weird.. I guess sleep meds all have side effects. Some are less bearable than others. Best to use those meds with the more bearable effects, I suppose. I´m trying Promethazine (antihistamine) right now. Definately better than Propriomazine (which actually is a weak antipsychotic, marketed as a sleep medicine). Promethazine feels like a strong dose of Hydroxyzine, but it can´t put me to sleep whenever I want.

I'll talk to my doctors to get a recipe for Melatonin, then I'll get a good brand from the national pharmacy. So there's a lot of fake Melatonin out there?