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I’m still unsure if I have it or not due to the timing of everything.

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So it’s been over a month since I had my first panic attack due to my acne medication which also has left me with anxiety. I know for a fact I got health anxiety due to the fact I’ve been jumping from self-diagnosis to self-diagnosis but the thing I can’t shake is what if I have HPPD. The last time I took any drugs was last summer and since then I stopped taking them forever and never looked back since, drugs were never really for me anyway and I didn’t abuse them either. Only smoked weed about 10-12 times in total over the span of 3 years and took 1.5 grams of penis envy mushrooms once for my first and only time which led to an extremely bad trip. Now I mentioned that was basically last year so, after a panic attack that I had last month (might have been my 3rd or 4th) that’s when I noticed that when I stare and zone out I notice objects breathing or distorting almost but here’s the weird thing, this started a year later and again I never abused drugs like that, this only started happening after my anxiety started which again was because of my medication. 

So now I’m flip flopping back and forth whether I have HPPD or not because there have been 2 instances where I didn’t experience the whole breathing effect for a week straight and there are moments when I check for it and it doesn’t happen. I’m positive this is just my anxiety only because of the timing of everything but you know how anxiety is and how it’ll make you doubt and second guess everything. The only thing I have to know for sure is if I have HPPD or not as it’s the only thing my anxiety has been anchored to right now because everything else that was brought up with anxiety like death and depersonalization I’ve gotten over. 

Ever since I took those shrooms I’ve regretted it and never thought about taking drugs again but I’m scared of the fact that this one little mistake has ultimately changed my life forever.


if you want more details about what’s going on you can check out the only other post on my account, thanks.

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My view is that is you have to sort of force it to happen by staring and zoning out, it's not hppd. But it does perhaps show you are susceptible to hppd in the future, if you take more drugs. 

Try not to live with regret about your drug taking... Regret is only useful to stop you doing something again, you've already come to that conclusion, so further regret is just hanging on to negative energy. Try to frame it in a positive way... You experimented with drugs, like most people, and came out of the other side without addiction and with a life lesson learnt. 

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