New here. HPPD just started for me yesterday. I'm scared

[coolrunnings91]

Hey. So I took a large does of mushrooms a week and a half ago. I also used them a few times during the weeks prior. I also was using Delta 8 vape pen on a daily basis and marijuana for idk 10 years. 2 days ago, while watching TV and hitting my Delta 8 pen (which I used while on shrooms too), I started to space out, then large anxiety in my chest, nausea and brain fog/dizziness. Walls can breath slightly. I went to the ER to get checked out and explained everything. I don't think it was much help. Today is the third day, and I still feel the same so I really think its HPPD. The brain fog is only comparable to when I was on shrooms. I've stopped all THC usage so im probably going to feel some withdrawal from that too. So is this a flashback that comes and goes? Do these symptoms subside sooner for others? I am trying to find a psychiatrist because it seems like any other doctors have no experience with drugs. Should I be given any anxiety medication? My anxiety is quite debilitating but I'm hoping it will pass. Also, I'm not sure if I should work yet. I do tree work.  Should i tell my boss I'm having a mental episode? For how long? Any advice on what steps I should take, what too expect in time? Its quite scary, I'm sure it is/was for you too. One mistake can screw up your brain. Thank you for reading.

Edited February 15, 2023 by coolrunnings91

[cosmiccharlie]

Hi, 

I'm sorry to hear about your situation.  Try and remain calm.  Your intuition about stopping THC products is a good one.  Personally, Delta 8 worries me as there is very little knowledge about its effects on the body and mind.  I would strongly recommend stopping Delta 8 for the foreseeable future.  It hasn't been very long since your last trip so I would give it some time.  In my opinion, mushrooms are one of the least likely hallucinogens to cause HPPD, my symptoms were mainly due to excessive LSD use.  That's not to say mushrooms cannot cause it because there are reports of this they just seem to be in the minority.   There are also reports of cannabis causing it, this is a much smaller group of people though.  You're going to be fine, try and believe that.  Try not to focus on your symptoms and spend as little time as you can on the internet researching the disorder.  Whether you have it or not, reading redit posts will likely only cause anxiety and one thing seems to be true for everyone with HPPD, anxiety exacerbates the symptoms.  That's not to say that it causes further damage but rather it makes life more difficult which causes anxiety etc... Try not to focus on them but also don't avoid them.  Your mind is going through a change now and responding to the condition it is in.  Let it do its work.  The things that worked for me are the following: 

• Stop all drugs, even alcohol for a while.
• Take it one day at a time, try not to think about the past or future just be here now. 
• Keep yourself busy with healthy, productive things; hobbies, work, etc...
• Exercise even if it makes your symptoms worse
• Do the best you can to not focus on HPPD; minimize time spent online looking into it and time thinking about it (this tends to generate anxiety which is not helpful for us) 
• Try learning to meditate, even if it's just for a minute or two.  We all have the ability to go inward for strength and healing.  For example, you can spend 30 seconds or a minute sitting and noticing your breath and thinking the following: 

1. when I breath in I notice I am breathing in
2.  when I breath out I notice that I am breathing out and I smile because I am alive. 

It's that simple!

• Try and get as much sleep as you can.  
• If you're open to it, pray to God in whatever way you think is appropriate.  You don't even have to believe in anything, just ask for help.  

Hang in there. 

Take Care,

Nick 

 

Edited February 16, 2023 by cosmiccharlie

[coolrunnings91]

Thank you Nick for your post, its really appreciated. So im on day 3 now. Withdrawing from THC and probably caffeine, not that terrible. Finally spoke to a psychiatrist today. He made me feel better and prescribed me some Lamictal. Yesterday evening I actually felt pretty normal, but woke up today with extreme anxiety and the lightheadedness I can only compare to the mushrooms effect. Seems to be worse in morning and slowly easy throughout the day. Urgent care doctor prescribed my some hydroxyzine for the anxiety, didnt help really. But yeah, when its bad in the morning it feels unbearable with the nausea the anxiety gives me. How has Lamictal worked for you? I'm really hoping this isn't long term. Hoping once the THC withdrawal ends and stuff, this gets much more easier and the anxiety isn't so bad. Gonna start the Lamictal today. Share your experience with Lamictal with me please. Trying to take Nick's advice and not do much more research but ill keep posting here. Thank you for reading and hope your are doing well. God bless.

Edited February 16, 2023 by coolrunnings91

[cosmiccharlie]

I don't have any experience with Lamictal just Zoloft.  For me, the reduction in anxiety from Zoloft has been very helpful.  I also have OCD which is another reason I take it.  Find a good doctor if you can and work with them to find a med that's right for you.  Sometimes it takes a few tries to get the correct fit.  Give yourself time and you'll find your own way.  Hang in there! 

[Jay1]

I wouldn't be too quick to jump on a strong med like Lamictal. If you can cope with it, just try and take a month with no drugs, meds, supplements etc... Find your baseline and learn to understand it... Only then can you truly know what meds, stress, relaxation etc are actually doing to your baseline. Anecdotally, the vast, vast majority of people who PM me in their first week or two see massive, often full recovery over the course of the first month or two.  If you were on a med, you'd think the med did it, but it would likely be coincidence. 

All the best, Jay

[coolrunnings91]

Thank you Jay for your advice. I think I'll follow your advice. I'm still waiting to see a psychiatrist in person, seems to take time for them to accept you and schedule an appointment. I used an online service to speak to a psychiatrist and he prescribed me a low dose, 25mg a day for a month. Looked online, apparently it takes weeks for these medications to have a positive effect. I'm taking like valerian root for the anxiety. Unfortunately, today my mind/head is doing poorly. It just feels so uncomfortable and lightheaded. Praying for some relief like I had 2 evenings ago. You say people can recover fairly quickly so that gives me hope. Still getting through the THC withdrawal but its hard to tell how much discomfort is HPPD vs the withdrawal. I'm unsure about what to tell my work. Been off since Tuesday. Still not in any shape to do tree work and drive large vehicles. Don't want to lose my job and health insurance.

Edited February 17, 2023 by coolrunnings91

[jh875]

On 2/15/2023 at 5:48 AM, coolrunnings91 said:

I am trying to find a psychiatrist because it seems like any other doctors have no experience with drugs. Should I be given any anxiety medication?

If there is a new antidepression drug the drug gets tested in clinical trials that might involve hundreds (or thousands) of people taking the drugs along with hundreds of people taking the placebo. Then through complicated statistical computations they can make a guess if the drug works and how effective it is.  This is very expensive though and there are challenges to get good data for something that not very well understood like and difficult to figure out like hppd.

We are just left with limited data quality data for drugs and hppd, but most of the data is either positive or neutral. Such as this:

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/12598822/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3736944/

Other drugs such as alcohol, nicotine and hallucinogens should be avoided. 

Other herbs like Saint Johns wort, could be useful but there isn't really any data at this point.

On this forum, if someone symptoms get worse they are likely to blame pharm. type drugs if they are taking them, or if they have withdrawals however that could happen on it own without drugs.

There is evidence that anti-depression drugs save lives, although for individual people it can aggravate depression or be ineffective.

[coolrunnings91]

6 days so far, feeling hopeful. THC withdrawal is easing up. Anxiety also seems to be lessening but still taking it day by day. Feels like this disorder may be unpredictable. Seems to hit me in waves then ease up. Symptoms include the head fog/dizziness, feels like my head is balancing on a stick. When its bad, my psyche seems more effected but it eases up after a couple hours. Ordered some lions mane to hopefully improve the brain/head feelings. Curious, do your symptoms hit you at different times? Is it consistently there all day for you? When I wake up, that seems to be the worst time for me, idk if its because my brain is coming from the dream state that mushrooms put you in. God bless you all, praying for everyone's recovery and well being.

[Jay1]

My baseline is pretty stable now and the feeling is constant, but predictable. A few things can change that for me.. 1) Lack of sleep or broken sleep 2) Stress 3) Meds/Drugs (inc alcohol).

I think getting natural waves/spikes is actually a good sign and indicates your brain is trying to work out and fix the problem. 

[SomebodySomewhere]

11 hours ago, Jay1 said:

My baseline is pretty stable now and the feeling is constant, but predictable. A few things can change that for me.. 1) Lack of sleep or broken sleep 2) Stress 3) Meds/Drugs (inc alcohol).

I think getting natural waves/spikes is actually a good sign and indicates your brain is trying to work out and fix the problem. 

Hey Jay, I hope this isn't too personal, but I know you've been here for many years now.

What HPPD symptoms, if any, have gone away for you?

What HPPD symptoms occur at your baseline?

From worst to tolerable, how would you rank your tolerance for your current HPPD symptoms?

Have any HPPD symptoms simple gone away over the years?

[Jay1]

11 hours ago, SomebodySomewhere said:

Hey Jay, I hope this isn't too personal, but I know you've been here for many years now.

What HPPD symptoms, if any, have gone away for you?

What HPPD symptoms occur at your baseline?

From worst to tolerable, how would you rank your tolerance for your current HPPD symptoms?

Have any HPPD symptoms simple gone away over the years?

No probs...

The only thing that went away was depression. It was horrendous for the first few years and by far my worst symptom, but thankfully eased in year three and is now completely gone. Why it went away, i'll never know (no meds at the time). Depression isn't really a hppd symptom, in my mind, but was very likely linked to the drug use. 

My baseline is strong visuals (VS, after images, geometric patterns, CEV, strobing/flashing of the entire visual field), strong anxiety and dp/dr. I have always equated my symptoms as like being trapped in the last few hours of a strong trip... Back in reality, but still with quite strong trippy vision, trippy thought processes and all the fun and learning has long passed. 

I'd rank those into:

dp/dr - The worst of them, get rid of that and I could breeze through life.

anxiety - It's bad, but I have learnt some coping mechanisms and have the occasional clonazepam to get through the worst of it.

visuals - while bad, i could easily live with them if they didn't feed into the dpdr and anxiety. I'd seriously take on everyone's visual issues on here if it meant getting rid of the dpdr and anxiety. 

[coolrunnings91]

Hey all. So I've been feeling pretty good. Went back to work Thursday, picked up a Saturday shift too. Been feeling quite good and pretty normal. Anxiety has been 95% down. Head cleared up. Been working hard, eating normally again. BUT this Monday evening, I seem to be having a long episode again. Anxiety flared up and my mind has become uncomfortable again. Thought I was over feeling like this. I feel like lack of good sleep is contributing to this episode. Think I'll have to call out of work tomorrow to try and catch up on sleep. This sucks, but the past few days having made me confident ill recover. Its just so scary and uncomfortable when its at its worse, and the bad thoughts are uncontrollable. I am using this experience to change my life for the better, becoming closer to God, stopping all drug use, and finding other interests. Its been 2 weeks of this and not using THC. Really hoping these sleep issues don't persist. Expected some due to not using THC, but its feeling like insomnia tonight. Well thanks for reading and im praying for us all. 

 

Has seeing a psychiatrist helped for any of you? Did they provide any coping techniques? Does therapy help you? Feel like just talking about it can help. Wondering if I should be seeing one. One finally called me back to schedule an appointment (when I was feeling good and didn't think I needed one anymore).

[Jay1]

Good to hear you are recovering. Sleep, or lack of it, can cause spikes in symptoms, no doubt about it. Hopefully your sleep pattern improves more each week too. 

[coolrunnings91]

Hey all. Just an update. Im 3 weeks in. Hope you guys are doing well. I'm having mostly "good days". Seems like I'll have a worse episode one day, and it'll progressively get better until the next time it happens again. Happened last night, had trouble falling asleep. Hard to distinguish whether im dreaming or thinking, very vivid lucid dreams. Anxiety kicks in out of no where. I believe my brain/mind kicks in the anxiety. Then my head feels more blown, less mentally stable and tired. Day or two later I begin to fall asleep more peacefully, though still have vivid dreams all week and doesn't feel like I get good sleep, but anxiety isn't there. 

Brain fog/feels like equilibrium is off, is there daily. Closest thing I can compare it to is a light does of mushrooms or something. The severity of this feeling is up and down, not very noticeable if I'm having a good day and chilling playing video games. Mainly when I go outside and walk I can feel it.

So im learning to live and cope with the brain fog, and the anxiety isn't as severe. Working my tree job for physical activity. Still haven't made it back to the gym. No cigarettes, no weed, no drugs. Only miss having a couple drinks out with the wife. Eating full Paleo for the past 5 days so far (have had pretty decent diet for past few years). Doing whatever I can to feel healthy, cause THE positives from changing my lifestyle are helping balance out the bad from HPPD. 

Giving brain fog/brain activity/bad nights issues a couple more weeks. If they don't improve, I may try starting the 25mg lamictal (I wouldn't want to up the dose). Heard on here it helped some one with that issue (though they didn't try without it). I don't know yet. First Dr. Appointment is on 3/28 =/, depending how im feeling, hope i can get like a 2 day a week supply of clonazepam to help with those episodes, give me some rest. Like others, feels like we need some decent sleep for brain to repair. Never mentioned, but I'm 31 years old. Also, gonna give a little alcohol a try next weekend. Never been a heavy drinker. Hoping it won't set me back, expecting a flare up the next day from what I've heard.

Sorry for the long post. God bless you all, praying for every one.

Edited March 7, 2023 by coolrunnings91

[coolrunnings91]

So it's been about a month. Some days I'm thinking I'm almost normal and will be recovered sooner than later but then I have an episode, such as being in a half awake dream state all night. Everytime I close my eyes I reenter the dream and can't think of anything else, even though I'm not fully asleep. Next day I usually feel like crap. Felt alright today, but after work anxiety kicking in for no reason and making my mind feel worse. Such a weird disorder, can't tell if something triggers it or it just happens somewhat randomly. Anyways, still very hopeful. Had some great days, was able to drink alcohol without feeling too bad the next day. Hoping these episodes decrease in frequency. Anxiety has been nonexistent to very little for a while, but all of a sudden its back. Taking it day by day. Feel better everyone, don't lose hope and God bless. We can all beat it.

[Beefol]

Hey @coolrunnings91,

how are you now? Hope youre doing fine!

Your post could spend much hope for new people in the forum! 

[coolrunnings91]

Hey all. Sorry, thought my posts were long a boring. Hope everyone is doing well.

So about 2 months in I was feeling quite recovered. It's probably been about 3 months now. For the most part, I think I'm fairly normal. I still have some sleep episodes (less frequent) and I don't feel like I'm dreaming awake anymore. I'll still want to pass out during the day on one weekend day sometimes. There are times where I feel like my mind is more vulnerable (best way I can describe it). Overall though, since I've been through worse, anything now is much milder and easy to deal with.  I have had a couple of "episodes" what I call it, where I felt like it was effecting me. Once when I was somewhat drunk, eating dinner, I got lightheaded all of a sudden and anxiety spiked (this is what happened when it all started).  I do crave smoking weed often, probably when I'm bored. Still haven't tried. Alcohol hasn't been too much of an issue for me, but can definitely exaggerate symptoms sometimes. Overall, I think its still with me, but absolutely has gotten better. I'd say I'm 90-95% better. I consider myself lucky. Hang in there, stay active, and know that you won't go crazy -just remember that. It may feel like it at times, but it will pass and it's all in your mind. God bless ypu all, ask any questions if you have any.

Edited May 2, 2023 by coolrunnings91

[coolrunnings91]

Also when I was feeling worse, I took the advice of not roaming this forum or looking up hppd. Would only keep my mind on it, give me anxiety, and freak me out. Now, it doesn't bother me so much, but I'd still rather not think about it xD. But if I can help give hope, I'll look back here much more often now.

[Jay1]

Thanks for checking in and letting us know the progress... Very happy to hear you are feeling better!

I say this a lot, but it really does feel like most people who come to this forum tend to get a fair amount of the way back to a full recovery within 3 months of their first post. It gives a lot of hope for people. 

I hope you can stay away from smoking weed again... Trust me, there is nothing more boring than being mentally ill for years/decades. Hollywood makes it look interesting and glamorous , but that's so far from the truth. Not being able to do the simple things that people enjoy in life is very, very tedious. 

 

[AF44]

None of what anyone says in this forum is too long or boring. I personally love hearing everyone’s stories and I love all of you

[coolrunnings91]

Hey everyone, I'm doing just fine. I don't think of HPPD at all. Dreaming/sleeping is probably my only issue. I sleep fine for the most part, but have periods where I have lucid dreams and don't sleep well. I also feel like I wake up not feeling very rested, but hard to say if it's still some remnants of the mushrooms/thc.  I will say I did buy an oz of weed months ago (too tempted) and tried it multiple times. It wasn't a great experience, and if I took more than two hits I would have very bad anxiety and felt loopy. So I got rid of it and don't have any desire to smoke again. Doesn't hit the same, for the best. So I had mild HPPD, it was terrible first couple weeks and I had to take off from work. I went crazy trying to find a psychiatrist to see. Never had visuals. I recovered pretty fully after two months. I assume recovery would be even faster/better with regular exercise. Didn't take any supplements. Just some time, keeping my self distracted from it, and quitting my THC addiction immediately. I'm probably more effected by stress now. There's hope all, if you are going through an unexpected hppd / psychosis, it'll pass in time. Keep yourself busy and don't think about it. I'm doing great and living a normal great life. Wish you all the best!