SERIOUS IMPROVEMENTS - there is HOPE

[ManwithHope]

Hello guys, I am a 23 year old who got HPPD from some random drug I thought was molly, but it wasn’t and sent me on a hallucinogenic journey to the next realm. I woke up the next day and nothing was the same. My reality had changed, visual snow had appeared, and I had extreme Depersonalization. For 2 years, it bothered me but it was never life destroying. However , my symptoms got worse. I got head pressure, extreme brain fog which just puts you in a horrible mood, and DP/DR and extreme depression. I felt no pleasure.  Mind you, I was using marijuana the entire time which I know is not good, but it helped me cope. So I would spend hours on this website digging for a cure. My first thought was keppra was the cure but when I started it, it made me feel even more spacey than I already was so I quit. Next I tried Zoloft at 50mg per day. For the first month, NOTHING happened. I felt the same, just empty, no emotions, no connection with who I am as a person. I thought my personality and brain was destroyed. The next month I moved up to 100MG and after about a week I woke up one day and had rushing euphoria like I was a kid again. The social anxiety that I previously had ( induced by HPPD, very social pre-hppd ) was Gone. I noticed that I was spending ALOT less time worrying about the little things in social interactions. Also, I noticed that my personality was coming back and the brain fog and head pressure had disappeared. I felt so clear headed and almost better than how I felt before hppd. After about a week, the intense euphoria settled down and the brain fog had started to come back, but not nearly as bad as before. However DP/DR, social anxiety, depression, and almost all emotional symptoms from HPPD has subsided. My personality was still there. The only thing that was bothering me was the brain fog and head pressure. So I decided to try Lamotrigine to combat the last of my symptoms. Within an hour of taking 25mg my brain fog and head pressure has subsided. I am only on day 2 so far of L, but I have made so much progress form where I was at last year, that I had to share. I feel almost 100% back to normal. I know how that sounds to you HPPDers, but I wouldn’t say it if it wasn’t COMPLETELY TRUE. Your brain is not perma fried or broken. There is a chemical imbalance and with the right meds. You can balance your brain out back to normal and 100% feel like yourself again. The only symptom that I am left with is minor visual snow, but maybe with more time on L, that will fade also. Also, the visual snow just doesn’t bother as much as before. I know how that sounds when ur at rock bottom with HPPD, but it is very strange what happens when ur chemicals are balanced in ur brain. It just not an issued anymore. To conclude, NEVER LOSE HOPE. Your current emotions are temporary and there are so many possible meds that can help. Take a step towards real medication and stay strong. You can FEEL BACK TO NORMAL. God bless you all. 

[mikemeas]

The question is.. do you really want to be on medication for the rest of your life. Of course drugs will make you feel better. But as you know they can also cause persisting perception disorders. 

I once tried Lamotrigine.. it is okay for 2 days then I got terrible headache. 

I dont know if medication is the way. I would always say try it without first. 

You may wont cure your visuals but you can work a lot with your anxiety and stuff. Its worth trying. 

Your current emotions are temporary yes. But they come back from time to time and influence you unconsciosly till you finally realize you need to cope with them. 

It sounds like you think these emotions come out of nowhere. Thats not it I think. These are your emotions dont try pushing them away with drugs...

[ManwithHope]

On 2/22/2022 at 2:40 AM, Hindy112 said:

The question is.. do you really want to be on medication for the rest of your life. Of course drugs will make you feel better. But as you know they can also cause persisting perception disorders. 

I once tried Lamotrigine.. it is okay for 2 days then I got terrible headache. 

I dont know if medication is the way. I would always say try it without first. 

You may wont cure your visuals but you can work a lot with your anxiety and stuff. Its worth trying. 

Your current emotions are temporary yes. But they come back from time to time and influence you unconsciosly till you finally realize you need to cope with them. 

It sounds like you think these emotions come out of nowhere. Thats not it I think. These are your emotions dont try pushing them away with drugs...

Definitely try without medication first. But I was unlucky and symptoms got worse to the point of suicidal thoughts and suffering all day every day. When you are at that point, you don’t really give a fuck what you have to do to feel Better. Sad reality but I accepted it. 

Edited February 23, 2022 by ManwithHope

[mikemeas]

On 2/23/2022 at 7:22 PM, ManwithHope said:

Definitely try without medication first. But I was unlucky and symptoms got worse to the point of suicidal thoughts and suffering all day every day. When you are at that point, you don’t really give a fuck what you have to do to feel Better. Sad reality but I accepted it. 

Ay... been there to. I started meditating to accept my problems and thoughts and to get to the very beginning of everything even before the HPPD. 

It is defenetly also possible to work on yourself while under medication. They dont differ your personality. 

Suicidal thoughts are something heavy. Also look besides from HPPD why you feel that way. 

It may be hard first but 1 year of progress and I am from suicidal + depressed to happy more often and pretty decent mental state. Yeah I still got mental anxiety but I know now that there is nothing wrong with me. Its just the circumstances I was confronted with. 

Defenetly looking forward to improve mental stability as I find more and more trust in my actions. 

Maybe a small tip if you have these suicidal thoughts or whatever bad thoughts try to think them to a end. Then you may loose your fear against them. 

But really just talking will help a lot to. So look for a therapist just to talk about every single problem of yours. 

[Hall89]

On 2/21/2022 at 7:06 PM, ManwithHope said:

Mind you, I was using marijuana the entire time which I know is not good, but it helped me cope.

This is probably what gave you the rest of the symptoms since THC alone is a cause for HPPD, so in other words, you were throwing wood on the fire. But yeah, Lamotrigine takes away the dpdr, head pressure and brainfog.

Edited February 28, 2022 by Hall89

[apfelsaft45]

On 2/21/2022 at 7:06 PM, ManwithHope said:

Hello guys, I am a 23 year old who got HPPD from some random drug I thought was molly, but it wasn’t and sent me on a hallucinogenic journey to the next realm. I woke up the next day and nothing was the same. My reality had changed, visual snow had appeared, and I had extreme Depersonalization. For 2 years, it bothered me but it was never life destroying. However , my symptoms got worse. I got head pressure, extreme brain fog which just puts you in a horrible mood, and DP/DR and extreme depression. I felt no pleasure.  Mind you, I was using marijuana the entire time which I know is not good, but it helped me cope. So I would spend hours on this website digging for a cure. My first thought was keppra was the cure but when I started it, it made me feel even more spacey than I already was so I quit. Next I tried Zoloft at 50mg per day. For the first month, NOTHING happened. I felt the same, just empty, no emotions, no connection with who I am as a person. I thought my personality and brain was destroyed. The next month I moved up to 100MG and after about a week I woke up one day and had rushing euphoria like I was a kid again. The social anxiety that I previously had ( induced by HPPD, very social pre-hppd ) was Gone. I noticed that I was spending ALOT less time worrying about the little things in social interactions. Also, I noticed that my personality was coming back and the brain fog and head pressure had disappeared. I felt so clear headed and almost better than how I felt before hppd. After about a week, the intense euphoria settled down and the brain fog had started to come back, but not nearly as bad as before. However DP/DR, social anxiety, depression, and almost all emotional symptoms from HPPD has subsided. My personality was still there. The only thing that was bothering me was the brain fog and head pressure. So I decided to try Lamotrigine to combat the last of my symptoms. Within an hour of taking 25mg my brain fog and head pressure has subsided. I am only on day 2 so far of L, but I have made so much progress form where I was at last year, that I had to share. I feel almost 100% back to normal. I know how that sounds to you HPPDers, but I wouldn’t say it if it wasn’t COMPLETELY TRUE. Your brain is not perma fried or broken. There is a chemical imbalance and with the right meds. You can balance your brain out back to normal and 100% feel like yourself again. The only symptom that I am left with is minor visual snow, but maybe with more time on L, that will fade also. Also, the visual snow just doesn’t bother as much as before. I know how that sounds when ur at rock bottom with HPPD, but it is very strange what happens when ur chemicals are balanced in ur brain. It just not an issued anymore. To conclude, NEVER LOSE HOPE. Your current emotions are temporary and there are so many possible meds that can help. Take a step towards real medication and stay strong. You can FEEL BACK TO NORMAL. God bless you all. 

congrats bro im really happy that it worked for you !!

[Onemorestep]

Something interesting about cannabis is it increases the likelihood of fungal infection 3.5x. 
 

zoloft is a biofilm disruptor for candida, a common infection of the gut for chronic cannabis users. It can cause exacerbation of all hppd symptoms.