Idk what to do anymore with all this my depression is so bad it hurts I can't believe this happened to me:(

[mcmz12]

My heart feels so heavy I can't stop crying I've had this for 5 monthes the head pressure hurts so bad the nose pressure hurts so bad the anxiety makes me shake I get muscle spasms all the time the depersonalization not being in my body is crazy my eyes can't even look around normally it's as if when I look left or right or up or down with my eyes it's like they see in steps they just don't look around normally my heart is so broken my ears have titinitus and hearing loss I don't feel like my cars on the ground when I'm driving idk how to explain it im so broken I'm 24 years old I just started doing molly I have never done any other drug besides smoke weed this year only because I started going to music festivals this year my friend convinced me too all the people who do way more drugs then me at these music festivals are fine:( I did like 12 Molly's in 5 monthes time I love sports I can't play basketball because my eyes are so messed up I'm 24 years old it was time to start growing up I can't believe this happened to me:( I had so many goals I had so many ideas all for a little fun man shattered too my loving parents and two little sisters I'm sorry for letting you down:( I hung out with people who've done drugs for years none of this happened to them I had no warning never in my life did I think I would wish to be normal?? sorry for the grammar I just don't care at this point 

[holly]

My dude, life is full of shit. You're young, we're young. Take some time for yourself dude, if you're in school take a year off. Try to take out as much stress as you can. Everyone here has felt the same as you, varying degrees obviously. One thing that ducks people over is lack of research. My sister does everything, coke, Molly, shrooms, lean. She is angry all the time, never seems happy. She ducked up her brain, you're still salvageable. Stop all substances, do some Exercise. I haven't changed my diet but it helps for other people. Keep yourself busy. Much love 

Originally 

[Jay1]

If it helps, my mdma depression did pass... Took a couple of years, though I was a very heavy user...

[Patthebat88]

I'm so glad I read this. I feel exactly the same way. I have head pressure all the time, especially in the middle of the day when I come home from work. I have severe tinnitus and I see after images and trails all day long. My dream job is suppose to start in January but I'm suicidal right now because of this so I think I'm going to have to turn the job offer down. Everyday I feel like I'm being tortured, no one deserves this. The only reason I haven't killed myself is because of my mom. I can't do that to her. It would be like killing her too. I hope one day God will give me answers when I ask him why he did this to me. I hope you feel better soon 

[Cjb007]

hey man u need to get ur head up and fight this. or really dont fight it just accept this is how it is for now. all these bad symptoms will pas with time... u just need to let it go.yes you may have some visual snow the rest of your life but does that really matter its the dpdr the depression and anxiety that sucks. and yes it will take some time but u need to stay strong as long as it takes.

 

trying to take control of something u can't just makes u loose control 

[Guest]

We all feel like we fucked up in some way.

I don't really know what to say except I'm right there with you.