Jump to content



Recommended Posts

Hi, I don't even feel like writing much right now. I want to know witch is the easiest, most peaceful way to commit suicide. I took a serious decision about ending my life.


I was looking for nitrogen tanks but they are extremely expensive. Please help me, are there any pills that can guarantee a peaceful death?


I think euthanasia is a right for everyone, you just know when you have suffered enough.



Link to comment
Share on other sites

You can speak to my by inbox Mr.50's, but believe me, I've tried everything in the past 12 years. 


I'm not looking for "don't do this messages", I think everyone has the right to choose when to end their lives and believe me, this is the most rational decision at this point of my life and I wont be harming anyone.


I'm trying to get pentobarbital or any of this medicines used for euthanasia, can someone help me out please.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I understand where you're coming from -- we all do. We've all been there before. I can't tell you what to do and what not to do, but I will say that if they come up with a cure for HPPD tomorrow it's gonna really suck if you're not there to experience it. Science, medication and HPPD awareness are all growing at a rapid pace. There's a good chance in your lifetime that somebody will discover some form of a cure or at least something that can greatly reduce HPPD symptoms. Don't you want to be there to experience it? Even if your 80 years old, wouldn't it totally be worth it to live an extra few years normal? To experience the world again through clear eyes? I imagine after spending so much time with HPPD you'd have an appreciate for the natural world that would be beyond comprehension.


This is a fact: Tomorrow is a new day, and the day after that, and the day after that, and so on. You never know what the future holds, no matter how much you think you do.

  • Upvote 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am a long termer too, I know how you feel... But have you really exhausted every avenue? I looked through your posting history and you mentioned something about Ayahuasca with a proper shaman?... Could this be worth a try, one last spin of the dice? It's not something I would normally recommend, for obvious reasons... But you never know what the shaman could do to help.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

hey Tomsk8...


I feel for you man.. i know hppd is tough.. i am not in your situation so i don't know what you are feeling now.. tho i can say its usually "darkest before dawn"

I personally feel, things will improve for you, as they have for me. I have had hppd  25 years +... and it does get better with time, even when things don't improve a person can adapt to there symptoms in a way that they just don't matter so much anymore, allowing that person to live a full and complete life despite of hppd. I know initially it does take work, tho its worth it. I'm sure with your depth of experience others will benefit greatly form your hearing your experience / story, and how you had the courage to move through and find a new way.

When i have been in the darkest of places, that's when i have been fortunate to find resources to help me shift my perspective of the situation, whether that has been through people, information or in general just changing my state.

If you would be free to chat over the phone, im here for you. Please inbox me your number, im in australia.. or alternatively i  am available via skype..

I  made some inquiries about a shamanic journey in the amazon also and actually got in touch with an amazonian shaman to answer my questions about hppd and Ayahuasca etc... who knows maybe we could travel there together someday...?... Im also in contact with a really cool community of traditional shamanic healers here in australia.. Im sure they would be fascinated to hear your story and assist in finding a way for you to navigate your way through this crisis.. for me hppd was the thing that initiated my pathway into becoming a healer myself.


Stay strong Bro.. i know it hurts.. tho it will get better and you will feel better and awesome again.. Please trust me, from someone who had had full blowen hppd for over 25 years..

I will inbox you..

Your Bro..


Link to comment
Share on other sites

I did the Ayahuasca, it was cool but it didn't fixed me.


This is not our psychology that's fucked, it's are neurons, like brain trauma. I figured that out with Ayahuasca.


Well, psychological problems like depression, anxiety come with the decease. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If it is the neurons, then there is a bigger chance to fix it.


Do you really think there is no avenue to try? What about tDCS or TMS (transcranial magnetic stimulation)? What about amanita muscaria (something that is dangerous, but has the potential to cure hppd, imho)? Or very high CBD cannabis? Hell, i'd even consider trying micro doses of LSD (I know a friend who combated MDMA induced depression by microdosing with MDMA... Fight fire with fire).


Obviously some of those ideas are leftfield and something I would never suggest to others... But surely anything is worth a try?


I know you don't want us to try and talk you out of it, but it is human nature... We all want you to life and beat this shit.... Maybe one day we will all have a big old party to celebrate being cured, who knows what the future will bring.


Please stay strong and PM me with anything.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

maybe you should go to an pshcian and discus to try anti psychotics i am using it 3 years now its fine and work for me if you didnt try it before it realy safed my life its better drug for a long term solution

i started with 2 mg and now at 0.5 mg so if its work you can tapper of until you dont need it any more its my goal perhaps

Link to comment
Share on other sites

my doctor thougt i have symptoms of psycosis because of cevs i saw real faces and deformed faces and insane feeling bad after i took a few day after i feel lot better buth it was not good yet but its cut the sharp edges of that bad feeling that hppd give its have realy good calming down effects

buth with sport together and geth bizzy hole the time it work probably hand in hand i think thats why i feel lot better

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.