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How wil hppd when we 50 60 70 years old


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I am asking and saying i have a hole life with this shit

How wil we doing when we geth old like you now the brain go back wards when we are 50

mayby where slowly recoverig buth when we geth old i hope we are dont easy victims for degenarative disease because are brains are already in bad condition

I scare my ass of this

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dude once u get past the anxiety which will take a while, then HPPD is pretty much nothing.

 

yes the anxiety is scary but once u face it and accept it, (baby steps), then theres no anxiety. so imagine hppd without anxiety. then u can learn to ignore it i guess.

 

ive had hppd for 7-8 months and the past month was ...... straight meditation, like 2 hours a day. that lets the hippocampus heal. i reccommend reading Harris Harrington's website about depersonalization, in my opinion its spot on. 

 

message me if u want to.

 

and what Visual said. 

 

getting over the anxiety is just a lot of work. my memory isnt what it used to be but i dont care because i know that my hippocampus has shrinked because of DP/depression/anxiety. 

 

when i faced anxiety 2 days ago, my brain burned and my heart rate increased. adrenaline. i was doing deep breathing at the time. scary. but kinda fun actually if ur an adrenaline junkie. its actually kinda cool having an altered perception, it reminds me that things arent always what they seem and that the eyes arent perfect. then again my hppd isnt too bad, it has healed up even though i still smoke weed i bet easing the anxiety had a lot to do with the decrease of visuals, a matter of obsessing and paying attention to it. 

 

but yeah face anxiety ur brain will probly burn cuz the amygdala in the brain i assume. but seriously i mean the worst thing that can happen is a panic attack, u cant die from anxiety unless its a heart attack which is obviously probly not gonna happen... we could die right now to a natural disaster u know

 

this whole hppd battle has changed me soooooo much and im grateful to have it. 

 

"theres nothing to fear but fear itself"

fear is an illusion. but its real. just dont trust fear. its the primitive aspect of our brain

 

message if u wanna talk or something maybe over the phone?

 

good luck:) 

 

ive recovered soo much. i actually felt "real" today!!!!! pretty awesome. all that meditation and self talk/introspection has payed off. but i still have probly another month of hard work to do, maybe even more. just remember to take it slow. yes, its scary

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Txn for reply buddy

Buth i dont have aniexty attack i have fear i feel it in a different way before al this started i had realy aniexty attacks for few minuts like every body buth i am psygotic to i halucinate some times buth i feel sharp bad feeling that i dont regonase this feeling buth my big remedy doing sports

I did tel my self yes i feel like its gonna be over in few months buth its never happend everytime just doing sport to supres this condition i did try meditation buth its was not fun buth sport work good

dude once u get past the anxiety which will take a while, then HPPD is pretty much nothing.

yes the anxiety is scary but once u face it and accept it, (baby steps), then theres no anxiety. so imagine hppd without anxiety. then u can learn to ignore it i guess.

ive had hppd for 7-8 months and the past month was ...... straight meditation, like 2 hours a day. that lets the hippocampus heal. i reccommend reading Harris Harrington's website about depersonalization, in my opinion its spot on.

message me if u want to.

and what Visual said.

getting over the anxiety is just a lot of work. my memory isnt what it used to be but i dont care because i know that my hippocampus has shrinked because of DP/depression/anxiety.

when i faced anxiety 2 days ago, my brain burned and my heart rate increased. adrenaline. i was doing deep breathing at the time. scary. but kinda fun actually if ur an adrenaline junkie. its actually kinda cool having an altered perception, it reminds me that things arent always what they seem and that the eyes arent perfect. then again my hppd isnt too bad, it has healed up even though i still smoke weed i bet easing the anxiety had a lot to do with the decrease of visuals, a matter of obsessing and paying attention to it.

but yeah face anxiety ur brain will probly burn cuz the amygdala in the brain i assume. but seriously i mean the worst thing that can happen is a panic attack, u cant die from anxiety unless its a heart attack which is obviously probly not gonna happen... we could die right now to a natural disaster u know

this whole hppd battle has changed me soooooo much and im grateful to have it.

"theres nothing to fear but fear itself"

fear is an illusion. but its real. just dont trust fear. its the primitive aspect of our brain

message if u wanna talk or something maybe over the phone?

good luck:)

ive recovered soo much. i actually felt "real" today!!!!! pretty awesome. all that meditation and self talk/introspection has payed off. but i still have probly another month of hard work to do, maybe even more. just remember to take it slow. yes, its scary

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Well, imagine what Stephen Hawking would had answered to that question, when his doctor told him that: "You got 2 years to live, and there is nothing we can do for you" when he was struck of Motor neuron disease.

He would said that he wanted to live as long as possible, to get as much work and achievements done through his life. He lived one of the most toughest life on this planet, however he was free of anxiety, depression and managed to achieve some great goals for humanity.

 

It's in your head. Sure, we got an illness and it's fucked up. But it's not THAT bad. And my HPPD is severe. Treat your psychological illnesses, some are difficult. But anxiety is easy to treat. When I say easy I don't mean that you can simply remove it. But with hard work and focus it will dimish on its own and that's fairly easy compared to other challanges. Good luck.

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I get extremely worried about old age too.... I am just about on the right side of being young enough to be the quiet, brooding creative type, without people questioning it too much. As I get older, certain norms are expected, dinner parties, small talk etc... Shit I just can't deal with. I don't give a fuck about visuals or anxiety.... I just can't be in those situations when I feel like i'm tripping.

 

I'm having a bad month, but am getting a bit tired of hearing how HPPD "isn't that bad"... It fucking is. 20 years this month and not a day of my adult life where I can say I had peace of mind and wasn't tripping out.

 

Yes, I have an ok life.. yes, I mainly have a positive outlook on life... But I can't drive, can't think about having kids, can't even be comfortable talking to my mum and dad, can't work in any situation other than on my own, at home... I am mentally crippled, mentally ill ....... It IS that bad (for some).

 

Maybe I will cheer up when I get over the 20 year anniversary in the same month I lost my job... But right now, I wanna tear the world in half.

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I get extremely worried about old age too.... I am just about on the right side of being young enough to be the quiet, brooding creative type, without people questioning it too much. As I get older, certain norms are expected, dinner parties, small talk etc... Shit I just can't deal with. I don't give a fuck about visuals or anxiety.... I just can't be in those situations when I feel like i'm tripping.

 

I'm having a bad month, but am getting a bit tired of hearing how HPPD "isn't that bad"... It fucking is. 20 years this month and not a day of my adult life where I can say I had peace of mind and wasn't tripping out.

 

Yes, I have an ok life.. yes, I mainly have a positive outlook on life... But I can't drive, can't think about having kids, can't even be comfortable talking to my mum and dad, can't work in any situation other than on my own, at home... I am mentally crippled, mentally ill ....... It IS that bad (for some).

 

Maybe I will cheer up when I get over the 20 year anniversary in the same month I lost my job... But right now, I wanna tear the world in half.

 

I'm sorry if I did step on any toes here. I didn't mean to put it like that. All I'm saying is that we all have our bad times and some people have illnesses and diseases that you just will have to continue to live with. That's the only option. How is lamotrigine working out for you? Maybe I would be in the same hole, looping around, feeling spiky high all the time if it wasn't for Keppra too. But I have been at a psychologist, I've worked very hard with myself to conquer the classic psychological issues that's related to HPPD. I've basicly been to hell and came out of it alive. I was really at the end of my rope, but thanks to the support on this forum and from friends and family I'm now in a better place.

 

Don't care about your future, because it doesn't even exist yet. You live now. Hour per hour. Day per day. And that is how it's going to be until your dead. Face your enemies and try to become friends with them, even how hard it is. We can look for help, and we can get help, to be able to function properly in a society. Every case is unique and I'm really sorry for you Jay as I know that your HPPD is probably the worst on this forum, which I can't relate to by any demands. But I can understand you as good as I can, and it has been proven by Dr. Abraham and other reports that effects such as derealisation, depression and anxiety is not connected to HPPD. It is a secondary symtom of the issues that comes with the visuals, or you had them before too. But then we are not looking to treat HPPD, but other mental illness. What about trying Keppra or a SSRI?

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Sorry, it wasn't aimed at you or anyone in particular....Just the idea that hppd is not so bad, life could be worse etc is something I have read a fair few times this couple of weeks and, though true for alot of people.... with my current stress and situation, frustrates me (maybe makes me a little jealous), as I don't think life could be worse than being locked in my own tortured mind. I'm sure i'll be back to being positive soon, and I generally do believe that having a positive attitude helps alot, but I also try to tell my story as it is, and that includes the fact that alot of my life is a waking nightmare, especially when I hit these dark periods.

 

Anyway, hopefully the stress of losing my job and being stabbed in the back by my ex-boss is the root to all this and i'll be back to baseline soon. It really hit me for six.

 

Re: meds.... I can;t think of any I haven;t tried! Keppra didn't do much and SSRIs kill me. I'm trying lamictal now (again)... Trying to get up to 200mg.

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hey jay, I've always your contributions to the forum and just want to say you've got my up most respect to how you are managing your HPPD and how you help out so many HPPDers on the forum.

I've seen several psychiatrists and neurologists about these symptoms, some of who have seen HPPD stuff before, and most of them have all said that this isn't a progressive disorder, and that getting anxious over the future with it is just gonna make it worse...

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Sorry, it wasn't aimed at you or anyone in particular....Just the idea that hppd is not so bad, life could be worse etc is something I have read a fair few times this couple of weeks and, though true for alot of people.... with my current stress and situation, frustrates me (maybe makes me a little jealous), as I don't think life could be worse than being locked in my own tortured mind. I'm sure i'll be back to being positive soon, and I generally do believe that having a positive attitude helps alot, but I also try to tell my story as it is, and that includes the fact that alot of my life is a waking nightmare, especially when I hit these dark periods.

 

Anyway, hopefully the stress of losing my job and being stabbed in the back by my ex-boss is the root to all this and i'll be back to baseline soon. It really hit me for six.

 

Re: meds.... I can;t think of any I haven;t tried! Keppra didn't do much and SSRIs kill me. I'm trying lamictal now (again)... Trying to get up to 200mg.

 

Fuck, what a nasty boss.. Anyone would get messy to get that. Things will be fine, just dont relate your HPPD to everything else. I've seen your work and I know that you got talent. There are plenty of options for you in the future, so just take it day by day and keep on progressing. Keppra and SSRI:s fucks everyone up in the beginning; these are long term medications. And the correlation between serotonin and HPPD is simply but speculations. Healthy but depressed people that use SSRI:s do get visual problems as well during the first 4-8 weeks. That is common. Of course that it will be worse in our case, but eventually it will go back to baseline.

There are so many speculations and theories on this forum that it kills the motivation of real progress. Theories are great, but we need to use facts and research not just adding numbers and thinking about it, because the brain is very complex.

 

If a SSRI would reduce your psychological issues and help you with your social life, but you would also have a few side-effects such as weight gain, decreased libido, and more stable emotions. Would that be so bad?

Yes, the first months would probably be the worst months in your life, but when you stabilize, it could be great too. But yeah, stick to lamictal now and use it for a long time. I got a friend with partial seizures, which she got from abusing alcohol at a young age, and she's on lamictal and it works good for her. She has 0 side-effects.

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Unfortunately, some external things are linked with hppd.... As my ability to find work is very much restricted to the disorder. As I said, I can;t work in an office and even too much interaction with phones and especially video conferences throws me... Every time I have to start looking for work, it hammers home just how fucked I am which ties into the problem of having HPPD as we get older. I can't even imagine this shit if i am 55 and trying to find work that doesn't involve human interaction.

 

re: SSRI's ... I was pretty much forced to complete a 3 month trial of Prozac and another SSRI, when I first went to a doctor about this, 18 or so years ago. I said after week 1 that it was making me VERY ill, but they said wait it out and implied that if I didn't, there was no hope for me.

 

That very nearly killed me. Anxiety, dp/dr, visuals 10x as bad as I have ever had it. Had to quit work, became a recluse. I wanted to die every second I was on that poison. Thank god I can now stand up to doctors.

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I enjoyed reading your input on this thread Jay.

The content was straightforward and from the heart.

From my own experience, getting old is one thing but getting old with hppd, that's something else...

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  • 3 weeks later...

I share Jay's experience with Prozac (fluoxetine). Started at 20mg and was bumped up to 40mg the next day. Noticed an increase in visuals and agitation within the first few days. I was told to wait it out as this is common with SSRIs but I knew all too well that what I was experiencing was related to my heavy drug history. I ended up discontinuing after 10 days of use. I had cut down to 20 mg for days 4-10. This was all earlier this month with my last dose being on 6/14/2015. Still dealing with the worst visual static and anxiety of my life.

It should be noted that I suffered a mTBI within the past year and this may play a role in my current symptoms but the Prozac made my visuals ten times worse.

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I'm curious as to who could be the eldest to us in terms of HPPD years. Is there anyone out there with moderate to severe HPPD over 40 years? Is that even possible?

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Of course it's possible.  12 years in or so for me.  About 8 years on a 4-5 on the hppd scale from one to 10.   2 years on 6... and 1.5 years about a 7.5.

 

From the spectrum I can gauge on here anyway...  I'm back down around a 5 but it's different...

 

Knowledge about the condition an how it effects you is a good thing.

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for me no meds any more guys to wait and check every day or every week for improvment make me sad and the side effect of the drug is anhoter problem i am happy with my life now i made a good progress just wish it dont wil go backwards

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  • 11 months later...

Hello there.  I rarely come here but I'm 54 years old and have had HPPD since I was 19.  The first 2 years were hell.  I'm not sure if the visuals/dp etc improved or I just decided I wasn't going to let it beat me and I had things to do in life.  The visuals are still there whenever I want to look for them but you know, it's me.  I took too many drugs and I was unlucky.  After 2 years of having it and suffering unbearable panic attacks I decided to change my attitude.  Probably the worst thing was the feeling of loss.  Of looking at a clear blue sky.  Of liking myself.  But I decided that the person I had become after HPPD was the person I'd have to live with and work on.  And that helped.  I'm a teacher, good public speaker, visual artist, musician.  I'm proud of my achievements.  And the person I grieved for initially got me into the mess so I'm glad I'm not him anymore.

 

The most lasting things have been depression and anxiety.  But honestly, I think they were there before the onset and probably caused the fucking thing.  I've always been very, very obsessive.  I hate to sound like an old fart but...I lived with this without knowing if anyone else had it, or being able to put a name to it until 6 or 7 years ago.  Thanks to the internet I now realise that the symptoms are uncannily similar in everyone. 

 

If anyone wants my advice, get on with your life and do the things you want to do.  Don't wait until you're 'better'.  Think of yourself as an anxiety sufferer and a depressive.  Millions get these.  The visuals are annoying but they don't get worse.  Excercise.  Do things to make yourself proud.  At my very worst 35 years ago I couldn't form sentances and sounded like a stuttering drunk.  These days I can lecture to packed classrooms.  I couldn't have dreamed of this.  Good luck on your journey.  Remember that life is difficult for everyone.

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