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Having major qualms about whether to continue working


SFT
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Hi

 

I'll give you the cliffs of my story real quick:

 

Did MDMA once, combined with alcohol and it ruined my brain. For a little over 11 months I've suffered from, and continue to suffer from:

 

  • Anxiety (Recovered, at least it seems like it)
  • Depression
  • DP/DR
  • HPPD
  • Insomnia
  • Dizzyness
  • Headaches
  • Mild bruxism, though horrible tension headaches
  • Food intolerances
  • Bad IBS
  • An array of cognitive impairments
  • Indescribable suffering 
  • ???
  • etc

Now, my question is whether working in this condition could actually be detrimental to my recovery?

 

I had a long summer break, 7 weeks, during which I felt very good, and had many days where I was symptom free. And I had weeks and weeks where I was close to symptom free, living an absolutely fulfilling life. This carried on to the first month and a half working, I felt great. However, now I've been on a steady decline since the end of September, and I'm starting to get scared that work is actually annihilating me further. Work is now extremely hard, and I have to fight to get through it. I think I'm actually fighting harder now than I did during the first 3 months. The only reason I'm able to keep fighting is because I hope I will feel better again in a short while, but it does not seem to be happening. I'm scared that I'm now deteriorating myself permanently by working like this. 

 

What should I do? I live in a country with very reasonable health care/disability options. 

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I think you should try to lower your working hours first, like 75% to begin with, then maybe to 50% or even 25% in the end.

Don't get disability or sick-leave too fast, it's a very hopeless way to live really. However, if lowering your work hours doesn't improve your condition, then get sick-leave or disability.

Hope you got some kind of direction from my reply! :-)

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Thanks guys. 

 

But do you think it could be detrimental to keep working? I mean, could I hinder recovery to a permanent degree? I feel a little better today, and maybe this is just a long ass setback in recovery. I don't want to stop working at all, but I do really suffer much more because of it. 

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It's really your call to make.... I have taken various periods of my life away from work to de-stress, it works for me. You will probably know what is best for you, All I can say is not to beat yourself up if you do decide you need time off to recover.

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It's really your call to make.... I have taken various periods of my life away from work to de-stress, it works for me. You will probably know what is best for you, All I can say is not to beat yourself up if you do decide you need time off to recover.

 

I agree fully with Jay.. You'll know what works best for you. There's no shame in getting sick-leave if you need it!

 

Regarding your post on the "stress response curves" in another thread which I replied to, it would seem to be pointing more to taking a short, time-limited sick leave, rather than lowering work hours. Where I live this period is set to a maximum of 3 months (without extra hassle). Employers try to fire people who are on sick-leave for too long periods (½ year and more), and losing the job and getting unemployed is one of the worst stresses that exists. Not very much mercy from them..

 

My recommendation is to start in the shallow end, 1-3 months of rest and see how you feel and if your improvement speeds up. You'll figure it out, SFT, it's your call!

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Thank you guys, I greatly appreciate your posts. 

 

I live in Norway, and I'm employed by the municipality so the chance of actually losing my job because of a sick leave is slim. The chance of me having to quit it though, is a bit higher. I might go with a shorter sick-leave as you suggest, but I must also consider the stress of actually being home from work. I would feel like shit and maybe I wouldn't be able to let go and relax completely. 

 

For the coming weeks I will cut out most social activities even though that might sound like the wrong thing to do. I will up my meditation as it does help tremendously, and I'll search up some de-stress techniques and I'll perform them religiously. Maybe I will be able to de-stress sufficiently without getting sick leave for now. I'll also cut out carbs during the day as a carb-filled meal fatigues me beyond belief now. 

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Yeah, I'm aware of the safety of keeping municipality jobs in Norway.

There's a quite similar system in Sweden, but not as safe today as you have in Norway.

Try a short sick-leave and do the necessary things you mentioned in your post. If these things reduces your stress, go for it!

The most important thing for you right now is to get back on your feet, tell your social contacts about what needs to be done.. They'll understand and respect it if they're real friends and care about you! ;-)

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