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I'm done! Finally!


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I'm glad to report that I am almost completely done with this hppd shit. i have been feeling AMAZING lately and my visuals are quickly dissapering. I've never felt better in all of my hppd days which has been almost a year in total. I'm just so fricken happy, I had to tell somebody. My visuals are still there but they are all very mild and are vanishing at a relatively quick rate.

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Congrats dude! I'm sure you don't need to be told this, but it's more important now than ever that you don't falter in abstaining from all drugs... Nothing like the feeling of "wow, I'm finally pulling out of this, I'm getting my life back" to put one in the mood to celebrate, haha.

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And just like that I get a little anxiety and it all gets worse again. Not feeling as good as yesterday but yes as long as I keep my anxiety low like it was yesterday I think I'll see a complete recovery of all of my mental/cognitive problems within a few months. It's weird though, since my visuals started to go away I've never been to excited or happy for that. I guess the anxiety and dp/dr is the worst symptoms of them all.

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Congratulations man!  You're on your last leg of this horrible journey, my HPPD almost all of a sudden rapidly started weakening and stayed that way for about 3-4 days then went away completely.  You should be only a few days away from the finish line!  Keep a steady healthy pace, very proud of you brother!

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Vent man, vent.  It's important to talk about it.  If you were not close to recovery, you visuals would not nearly go away.  They won't trick you like that.  Just think positive an TELL yourself that you are cured, you are SOOOO close im even getting excited for you!!

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Hope things improve 50. As someone who suffers from HPPD without constant DP/DR I can honestly say that it is by far the worst symptom. Then anxiety. Those two things tend to go hand in hand though. Getting over that is key to recovery. Or at least feeling somewhat comfortable enough to deal with every day life.

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I call it good days and bad days. 

Imo, you are not over the anxiety yet.? Afterall, improving or not, the existence of symptoms are basically a constant attack on your mental health and anxiety.... but only if you perceive it that way...

 

I say this because, for me right now, i think 99% of the anxiety is gone.

I still have visuals and i dont think they are improving at all and i think its even worsened a bit with the meds im taking but because i dont have anxiety, it really has no effect. Even though i havent really seen an improvement in visuals and even a significant worsening in physical symptoms, I can say i feel so much better and normal then i did few month back.

Think of the times you did drugs and experienced these changes but didnt have anxiety, it was great. But with anxiety and the mental perception that it creates, it can be hell.

One thing that reminded me of this was catching a cold. Before hppd i didnt care anything about a cold or aches and stuff, but when got a cold this winter, i went straight to the doctor got some meds and took it religiously. It was then that i realized, wow ive really changed, im mentally weaker now, getting anxious over a cold... Realizing this is starting to make me stronger again though. 

 

Also, maybe try not to visit the forum too much if you are not actively using it as a means of research and journal logs and trials etc. 
I cant speak for others but when i havent visited in a while, it is when my anxiety improves. But when i comeback once in a while, i get a tiny bit of anxiety. Its like i accepted hppd but coming back here reminds me that its a fucked up disorder and i am fucked and its breaking down the mental walls that im building back up, especially if i am writing shit down like i am. Once in a while though, its a nice place to let it out.

There is really no point in reading about all these failed trials and cries of help if you are in a bad state yourself. Of course helping others and being supported can be a healing process as well. 

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Also dylan if you are reading this, i hope you answer my question from the alcohol thread.

 

Did you mean that drinking a responsibly excessive amount has less to zero effect on hppd vs drinking a buzzy amount and experience worsened symptoms? Maybe because more the alcohol, more the sedation = better for our overly excited hppd brains? vs half sedation and randomly activated brains.

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Also dylan if you are reading this, i hope you answer my question from the alcohol thread.

 

Did you mean that drinking a responsibly excessive amount has less to zero effect on hppd vs drinking a buzzy amount and experience worsened symptoms? Maybe because more the alcohol, more the sedation = better for our overly excited hppd brains? vs half sedation and randomly activated brains.

I experience quite the opposite! A good buzz off a few beers and im good. I hit the hard hooch for one night and im DP'd for days. Drinking is literally the only thing that causes DP for me now. I can smoke pot, snort coke whatever, and ill be fine. Take a few shots and im fried for 2 days.

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Big update, I'm actually still doing great! I just had a few days of intense stress and pressure and it made me worse but I am still doing just fine. The biggest news is I realized something VERY important to me. When I feel like the world sucks and I feel depressed its not my hppd, it's the way I view the world. Hppd and depersonalization made me expect the worst from the world and just in general not be happy because it makes me see the world as a depressing fuck but it isn't. If I can manage to make my self feel more optimistic and happy with how the world works I won't feel mentally like shit anymore.

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Yeah a big part of it is learning how to go back into the flow of things without feeling stress/depressed and doubting your abilities to the tasks at hand. Whenever I doubt myself I just look at the past 9 months at how I improved and how I still managed to get a lot of things done. Plus life was never all dandy before HPPD either so you gotta factor in the ups and downs that you go through without HPPD.

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I'm sorry you guys for saying I was almost done when I wasn't but I was telling the truth. I heal so much when I'm relaxed and not at school so when I had the 2 week Christmas break I was literally that close to recovery. When school started it went back to the way it was before but I'm still not feeling bad. I swear this summer so much healing is going to happen I will probably be cured.

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Time and staying healthy is the greatest healers. You can try any medication and supplements but they will only mask some symptoms. Sounds like you got it going better. Be patient. Happy HPPD-free 2014!

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  • 1 month later...
  • 3 weeks later...

I experience quite the opposite! A good buzz off a few beers and im good. I hit the hard hooch for one night and im DP'd for days. Drinking is literally the only thing that causes DP for me now. I can smoke pot, snort coke whatever, and ill be fine. Take a few shots and im fried for 2 days.

Alcohol caused dp to get worse for me too and actually triggered my hppd

How can u do other drugs and not be affected ??

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  • 3 weeks later...

I experience quite the opposite! A good buzz off a few beers and im good. I hit the hard hooch for one night and im DP'd for days. Drinking is literally the only thing that causes DP for me now. I can smoke pot, snort coke whatever, and ill be fine. Take a few shots and im fried for 2 days.

That's doesnt sound bad at all. Alcohol is poison anyways. I'd much rather snort rails of white then drink anyday, if my anxiety didn't go though the roof! Can you still do drugs like a rock star or do you have to moderate considerably now?

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