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How would you describe DP:DR?


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Past few days have had some anxiety. Gotta little too drunk one night and have been having on and off problems for a few days. Anyways, woke up today feeling a little off. Like I'm sick, but i'm not sick. Hard to describe. Kinda just thoughtless, and meh. Not anxious, just kinda empty. Like I took antidepressants or something. Any advice, any help? I'm done drinking for the forseeable future. I just can't help myself sometimes.

UPDATE: Spent some time outside working today and I feel a bit better now, still not 100% but i'm not exactly uncomfortable. It's a weird thing. It's like anxiety without the anxiety.

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For me DP and DR go hand in hand, with one comes the other. I am not a constant sufferer of this condition,but when i get it, it feels like i am watching myself live, or experiencing my life, from a third-person point of view. A good way to describe it for me is always feeling like i'm hearing myself talk and it is very depersonalizing/derealizing for me.

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Yeah, the dissociation of LSD or MDMA minus the racing abstract thoughts and euphoria (i.e. the good stuff :P). I read a post that resonated with me here recently where the poster (don't recall whom) said they might look at a tree and know logically that it's being moved by the wind, yet perceive or feel like the tree is moving itself. To me the tree also seems to be moving in slow motion, almost as if it's underwater. "Dream-like", distant, withdrawn into one's self yet somehow outside of one's self.

Another description I came up with the other day that feels fairly appropriate is this: say you're going for a walk but entirely focused on something that's going through your mind. Very little of your thought processes are dedicated to the experience of the walk; the path, the scenery, the wildlife, weather, scents, whatever. On some level you're acknowledging them but you're largely on autopilot. For me, when DP/DR's flared up, I might go for that walk and be just engaged with and thinking about the walk, but the sensation in my mind is that of going for that walk without DP/DR and focusing entirely on something else. I'm not sure if that makes sense.

Or I might liken the feeling of looking at an object, say a book, to the feeling you'd normally get looking at a very well-detailed 3D-rendering of that book, only with the frightening feeling of knowing that that object is real.

Finally, the glass wall analogy. Almost as though there's a transparent barrier between me and the world. I guess this goes with the outside-looking-in feeling.

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  • 3 weeks later...

I always felt really empty. Nothing affected me, I couldn't feel positive or negative emotions. I would actually leave school between class and rub snow on my face just so i could feel something because everything was so numbed. It would also just seem like the world wasn't right, like this isn't how things really are.

 

I saw a video a long time ago (before I had DR) about a guy who had a brain injury and afterwards felt like his life wasn't real It described  the cause somewhat like this: Its due to dysfuction in the amydala that keeps us from experiencing instinctual emotions to everything we see. Everything has some meaning to our brains when that meaning isn't present it is a very eerie feeling.

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