MadDoc

Hello.  So, you only took MDMA that one time?  Do you have a history of taking psychedelics?  If that's the only time you dosed, then that's good news.  Some of your symptoms sound hppd like and some of them sound like normal visual imperfections  (star like shape when looking at lights). You may just be noticing the after effects of your chemical experience which should resolve fairly quickly.  I would stop taking psychoactive drugs including cannabis for a while, several months at least, six would be better.  After being clean for a while, see how you're doing.  Try to keep focused and don't spend lots of time examining each possible symptom.  Of course, the best way to avoid hppd or to keep it from getting worse is to avoid chemical entertainment altogether.

Please understand that I have no medical training and I'm not an expert on this disorder.  I'm just an old guy who's had it for a long time.

Take care.

I've seen some threads on this forum decompose into insults and shouting matches.  We all have opinions, perspectives, experiences, and information we've obtained from various sources.  If someone posts something you don't agree with, pisses you off,  or seems like misinformation, please reply in a constructive and courteous manner.  Before you post, think about what you might say if you were talking to the person face to face, and don't forget to be kind.  We're all struggling with a difficult disorder.  Remember, we all have the goal of being well.  Let's help each other get there.

Thank you.

I first dosed shortly before my 14th birthday.  I've also wondered if dosing so young might contribute to getting this disorder.  The thing is, the "kids" I dosed with didn't seem to contract hppd.  I believe they see the world through a stranger lense than most even as adults, but no hppd.  Granted, the "people i dosed with" is rather a small sample size and not statistically relevant.  I did have one friend who became very depressed and checked out early.  I'll never know if dosing/hppd  contributed to her depression or prompted her early departure.  

I'm just happy to be here today.  

I don't see through your eyes, but floaters can be perfectly normal.  If they increase over a short period of time it might be a good idea to get your eyes checked.  You may just be noticing them simply because you're looking for symptoms.

Drug sensitivity seems to be very common especially when it comes to cannabis.  I used to smoke all day, every day.  It made me feel normal.  Very suddenly it made me feel tense and even a tiny amount would make me feel uncomfortable for hours.  It also made my visuals intolerable.  

It might be a good idea to stop taking psychoactive substances to see if your symptoms persist.  Understand that hppd can be far worse than what you're currently experiencing.  Some of us are prone to getting hppd, other aren't.  If you're symptoms don't go away, you may be in the unlucky minority.

Regarding Ayahuasca, I never tried it but I smoked my share of DMT.  I recall that it would shake the foundations of reality.   I don't know for certain if it contributed to my hppd symptoms but it certainly didn't help.

Please understand that I'm not trying to give some anti-drug lecture.  You posted in this forum so I assume you have some level of concern.  Drugs cause hppd, so to avoid it, avoid drugs.

Take care of yourself and thank you for "listening".

I'll echo what others have written.  Stay away from psychoactive substances.  Give your mind and body time to level out.  You don't say how long it's been since your last dose, but understand, it can take a while to find clarity.  Try to focus on something, anything, that can get you up and moving and try to stay focused.  Also, don't be too hard on yourself.  Most of the people I dosed with ages ago report no signs of this disorder.  We're just unlucky, we're not bad people.  Take care of yourself.

There's no question, it does get better.  Never underestimate your ability to heal and to adapt.  Life is weird, all we can do is the best we can do.

It's not a matter of thinking that visuals are dangerous, they're not.  However, they can be very distracting.  If I look at a carpet in a room, slight color and texture variations immediately assemble into shapes.  If I keep staring, these shapes get more and more complex and start to move.  Colors will often start to appear in the shapes.  If I look away it vanishes, but if I look back it starts all over again.  It's distracting!  They cause no harm but it isn't an easy thing to live with.  The best thing I've found is to not pay attention to the hallucinations.  Stay focused, stay on task.  

For what it's worth.

I've had visuals for decades.  It can be very difficult.  I've found that staying focused really helps.  Work, school, hobbies, reading, learning to do hand stands, anything to keep you mind focused on the task.

I find that meditation (here I go again) helps with mental focus.  It's really just mental focus training when you get right down to it.

Being able to read was the hardest part for me.  All sorts of shapes would form between the words and would move around.  I no longer get visuals when I read.  I have no idea why.  Mental focus perhaps.

Hope that helps.

Back in the early 70s it was referred to simply as "burnout".   Most recovered from burnout, some didn't.  Strangely enough, out of all the people I knew who used acid heavily for a long time, I was the only one who reported hallucinations that never went away.  Go figure.  Then again, a friend of mine who just seemed burned out became dysfunctional and passed away quite young.  I suspect he had hppd symptoms.

A week?  Give you self a little time to allow your brain to bounce back.  There can be lingering after effects after an intense experience.  Staying clean for a while is great advice.  Give your mind and body some time to level out.

As for alcohol.  I drank pretty heavily after I stopped dosing to deal with the anxiety.  I don't think it made my symptoms worse and it masked them somewhat.  However, when I stopped drinking all of my issues were there waiting for me.  

As for weed.  I could never go back to it once it started making me feel anxious.  Lots of people have a similar reaction to weed over time.

Us humans can often feel guilty about things we've done that we're not proud of, failures, missed opportunities, etc.  Feeling guilty about using drugs may be directing your focus toward your symptoms.  One of the ways I've dealt with this disorder is to set my focus away from my symptoms.  If you think in a religious framework perhaps focusing on self forgiveness and prayer may help.   

Give yourself some time.  The day after, or shortly after, a mind expanding experience you can have lingering after effects.  Stay clean for a while and chances are you'll level back out.  Try not to spend too much time focusing on what might be a symptom.  As humans we have all sorts of anomolies that are often perfectly normal.  

That's excellent news!  Having the visuals almost gone and CEVs reduced is huge.  It took me a long time for my CEVs to vanish but they did.  I'm not sure if my visuals are better of if they're just an integral part of me.  Great to hear  that you're doing better.  It gives folks hope.

We change as we move through life.  Sometimes we're up, sometimes we're down.  At 21 a lot of things can change.  New responsibilities, new stress, new adventures.  What you're experiencing might simply be due to a healthier lifestyle.  It can take a while for the brain to re-level.  What helped me was getting sober, getting focused, setting goals, and moving forward with life.  I still have visuals after all these years but I feel lucky for every day I have on this planet.

Did you only dose that one time?  If so it's possible that your symptoms will start to fade over time.  Try not to focus on it too much if possible.  Try to focus on your life, school, work, hobbies relationships, etc.  In other words, keep focused.   I can't stress enough that staying away from drugs including weed is a good idea.  Hang in there and take care of yourself.

I've been sober for a long time and I've never been happier.  When I was using drugs I couldn’t imagine life without them.  Now I can't imagine how I lived with them.  I'm not trying to give a temperance lecture.  I'm just saying a sober life can be a happy life.  Happiness is what it's all about as we travel through whatever "this" is.

My first symptoms were visuals.  I would notice them when i smoked cannabis around the time i started dosing.  Understand that cannabis back the was quite mild compared to what's available today.  I've never had visual snow.  Also, I didn't have extreme anxiety that many have described.  What I'm trying to say is that hppd is a spectrum disorder.  You may have some of the symptoms but they may not be what others experience.

Advice, stay away from psychoactive substances including cannabis.  Give it some time.  Symptoms can fade but they fade slowly.  Don't panic!  If you have this disorder you can live a full and happy life.  I can't stress enough though, no chemicals!  

I put blueberries, strawberries, blackberries, and a banana into a blender.  Add a shot of hemp oil and some walnuts, top it off with almond milk, run the blender for a while and bingo, breakfast.  Works for me.

If he can remain sober for a while he might bounce back a bit.  If you stay sober with him he might appreciate you being fully "there" for him. 

Weed does the same thing to me and I haven't dosed in a very long time.  I didn't quit weed, it quit me.

What you wrote was very clear.  This is the advice that I, and others here give.  Stop dosing and stop using psychoactive drugs including weed.  I'm not qualified to say if you have hppd but having recurring psedeo trips sounds like a possible symptom.  You haven't dosed too many times so your symptoms may just taper off if you stay sober.  Remember, this disorder can get worse, much worse if you continue to dose.   Also, don't panic.  Even if you have hppd you can live a perfectly healthy, happy, and productive life.

There's no right or wrong way to introduce yourself.  You did just fine.  My psychedelic use was what many would consider excessive.  It went on for six years starting in my freshman year of high school.  It sounds like you had a similar experience.  After high school I continued my antics but really went off the deep end with acid.   It seemed harmless at the time.

The fact that you're sober now is very important.  Many in this forum will say the same thing.  I've seen significant improvement over the decades and I'm quit certain it's due to being sober, staying focused, and not giving up.  If you've kicked heroin, you're a strong person.  Hang in and keep posting if the spirit moves you.  There are a lot of bright people who post here so it may be worthwhile discovering what they have to say.

You're not a bad person for being cursed with hppd.  You're just in the unlucky minority. 

Can't go back and can't stand still, if the thunder don't get ya then the lightning will.  Robert Hunter

My doctor suggested that I take a meditation class at the local teaching hospital.  I was suffering from anxiety brought on by this disorder combined with a high stress career.  To be blunt, it changed my life.  It took about six months of daily practice to kick in, but when it did, it was such a huge relief.  You don't need a prescription, refills, and you don't need a guru, or crystals, or any earthly device.  It's just the power of the mind.  We can train our brains (aka our reality interpretation devices) to experience now.  Some say, living in the past causes depression, living in the future causes anxiety.  I'm not sure if meditation is considered Chinese medicine but I'm so thankful I found a doctor who was a healer.  

I had Lyme disease.  Fortunately it was caught early.  It can cause a lot of problems but I doubt it would cause visual hallucinations like I have.  I started to get joint pain but that's about it. 

<edit> In reality, It was never proven that I had Lyme Disease.  As I recall, the tests were negative, but my doctor couldn't figure out why I had joint pain.  I was put on the antibiotics because the tests at the time were so unreliable and she thought I might have it.  Perhaps they still are.  Just wanted to be as accurate as possible.  </edit>

I get a flu every year.  Never a problem.

I don't know what version of DMT Ac40dmt is but that family of chemicals are incredibly powerful.  When I used DMT I remember this intense feeling best described as electrical overload running up my spine.  For a few weeks or so after using DMT I would periodicall experience a similar sensation and it would really give me the "creeps".   I would also see little blips of colored light but that would only last a few days if memory serves.  

I looked it up but I can't tell if it's DMT or some other analog.  There are so many variations out there now.  Things used to be a lot more simple. ... back in my day (insert Grandpa Simpson's voice)