trip into hell

i know what i said is a little inaccurate...when i say ''luck'' (i dont believe in luck)...i mean its a positive fact we can not determine...in other words i just wanted to say i dont know why im cured but i didnt do sports or yoga etc....the only thing i did was changing my diet and becoming a vegan + b vitamin suppliments and lions mane for a while + valerian and lavender to be able to sleep + long walks in nature here and there...but i can not know why i was cured and trust me..i had severe hppd for 4+ month...i even took a few heavy trips on edible canna oil and smoked weed after it was gone which caused panic attacks due to my anxiety disorder but never brought hppd back..so i say im cured 100% from hppd...

weed is not bad actually...its just a problem for anxiety sufferers cause it makes you think deeper and thats why it might trigger panic attacks..people with anxiety are running away from their inner fear which comes up when high on most mind altering drugs..i never ruined my social life with weed..i never really had a social life and my hppd/dp/dr/panic disorder.was triggered by an overdose of mushrooms...so weed wasnt at fault...MJ never hurt me.

i will never be able to smoke as used to..you can not know this but im not thinking this way anymore...i mean my life will be useless without drugs but i guess i will not wait until i die though...maybe i will have to end it myself some day..

and i have found other naturals to consume but its not that much fun...

well if you can say you are happy for yourself..then ffine its good for you...but i cant say this for me even though im cured..sure, that sounds a little bit ungrateful..but i just cant be happy when i want to die almost every single day...

unfortunately having hppd or not doesnt really have to do with a healthy lifestyle or staying off drugs, as you know many people changed their lifestyle and it did little to nothing for them...and if, you only feel slightly better due to the better lifestyle just as you would without hppd..it just makes things a little more bearable through increasing general well being...but wont change the fact that you have hppd..you know im 100% cured from hppd but im sure it doesnt have to do with any lifestyle changes ive made after my onset...to my mind..if you get rid of hppd is a matter of ''luck''...

personally i wouldnt claim to be cured if there'd still be the slightest trace of hppd...and im still not happy in my life cause i have to deal with severe anxiety issues and get panic or even panic attacks when taking more than a microdose of any psychedelc substance or alter my consciousness in other ways that could trigger fear..so you could say if one is able to consume and enjoy without any relapse..its a kind of perfect proof that this one is cured a 100% from hppd..cause its the same thing which stops you from enjoying life that also keeps you away from enjoying drugs...no matter what...as long as you have hppd you cant enjoy trips of any kind wether in real life nor on drugs..

i dont know man...i think fighting anxiety is something i never want to do cause it makes it even stronger...not to forget that i dont need to be a better person..im not an asshole..

you must be a strong person to leave the country with nothing but negativity and a little money..i could never do it..i guess i would hang myself on the next tree out there cause i feel so alone and hopeless...+ traveling is a very trippy thing to do for me because it results in dp/dr..showing me how big everything is and how small i am and makes me feel trapped within my body...for me it is a mixture of claustrophobia and agoraphobia (dp/dr).

dont know if ill ever change..

i cant travel due to low money...and besides, i cant imagine it will help...cause everything is just a kind of impression...just like a drug and i still have these anxiety issues where i cant just sit in a car or train without experiencing nausea, dizzyness and a sense of dp/dr or even panic attacks....life has become pure agony to me cause i cant do anything no matter what..

When consuming drugs heavily and going to oblivion every is, if things go well, fine. That is not reality though, and it will hit you hard when the dream ends. I also loved drugs, specially alcohol and speed,  but it's not sustainable at all.

 

 

Find other things in your life that fill you. There are so many things out there which offer a better overall proposition than drugs.

many people say it..but i think its a myth...there cant be something better than drugs....which is why im so fucked up ..i love them more than anything and its the only thing im interested in, but cant do them anymore...its destroying me...mabye i shouldnt live cause i cant do what i love

i dont even know if my issues can be fixed at all...and it doesnt feel this way but i am still doing psychotherapy working through my painful past...hope that helps ..

..and also i love drugs so much that feel, i cant live without tripping or it will be a terribly boring and useless life..even though i cant really take them anymore, its still in my mind...

sometimes i think...fuck it..i will at least smoke weed heavily one day again..

I also react to opiates.  The first couple times, no problem, then all hell broke loose and visuals, muscle tension, tingling, tinnitus blew up..  Not recommended.

dont think everyone is like you but thanks for the warning, i will be careful when trying opiates or opioids just as with any other substance

What's wrong with consoling?

consoling..for what?

But tlhembecker said that it made their DP/DR worse. So it probably wouldn't help your anxiety then 

 

 

What type of prescription meds have you tried? How long did you typically stay on them before you stopped taking them? That tingling sensation that you felt was probably the sedative effect of the med. I felt the same thing when increased my lamictal and whenever I take benydral.

 

Have you tried consoling?

tlehmbecker might be one of the few people who react negatively to opiates or opioids..remember that i also said some people have bad reactions but most said it feels great..

i dont remember the names of all these meds but some were escitalopram, doxepin and quetiapin...i had terrible reactions reactions and i only took them once or twice and didnt dare another try due to the panic, fatigue, dp/dr and dizzyness i felt on them...

what do you mean by consoling..are you kidding?

Which was my original point.... If you don't care that the opiods you take are synthetic.. then why not try a synthetic anti anxiety/depression med that could actually make you 100% better again?

thats where my problem is..i cant get my hands on benzos (even though i dont even know if they make it worse for me) + i have tried many different anti depressants with anti anxiety properties and i felt terrible for hours..i mean i couldnt walk around had crazy dp/dr (couldnt feel my body at all) and a little anxiety + my whole body was tingling it was terrible i thought im about to have a stroke or something...other meds felt like i was having a kind of fever and i felt so hot n so sick, depressed...the prescription meds ive tried really fucked me up in many different ways.. im very disappointed by our doctors and medical system these days

Isn't DP/DR an anxiety disorder?

no dp/dr is a symptom of anxiety which might feel like a disorder itself..thats why most people claim that dp/dr is a disorder but sometimes im not sure if it isnt possible to have dp/dr without anxiety and/or hppd.

Nothing I said indicated it helped with anxiety or HPPD. I simply said it didn't affect HPPD and increased DP/DR (which may not even be linked to the opioid in question) which consequently led to an increase in anxiety, contrary to what you claimed.

 

You need to stop making blanket statements as well and contradicting yourself (not too long ago in a thread of mine you said fuck meds yet opiates/opioids are meds).. What works for you will not always work for someone else.

 

I also 2nd Jay in that I think you're just looking for an excuse to get high considering how hard you're pushing opioids and opiates (opioids are entirely synthetic, opiates are either natural or derived from other naturally occurring opiates like morphine or thebaine).

why are you so ignorant..

thats true but when i said fuck meds i meat the chemical shit you get prescribed by docs (which was clear)...i always had negative experience with them...

not that i have hppd anymore but i want to help anxiety and dont want to panic and maybe trip a little bit (im looking for no excuse to do drugs, i just want toi do them)...

mytragynine also helps for anxiety and dp/dr at least it helped me...i ordered some and look forward to the feeling.

i never said opiates/opioids help every person out there but most of the people..at least with dp/dr and anxiety...if it didnt help you, you had no luck.

+ opioids are not necessarily synthetic..there are synthetic and natural opioids, as with opiates....the term opioid is for substances which bind to the same receptores as opiates, they work the same way and have simiar effects as opiates

Maybe I'm a little late to the party, but in my experience opioids don't affect HPPD, visually at least, but did increase DP/DR. Can't be definitive though as the only form I've had came in the form of a hydrocodone/chlorphenamine syrup, so it may have just been the chlorphenamine and not the hydrocodone. I have some tramadol lying around, but I'm not going to use it unless I really need to so no guinea pigging for me.

told ya..opioids/opiates are great against hppd and anxiety for most people.

no need man...ill be the guinea pig

The tramadol you are wanting to take is synthetic.

 

If you are referring to it being a derivative of an opiate, then you can also find derivatives for nearly any synthetic.

 

Once again, you are just trying to justify getting high instead of getting treatment. I no longer care, but at least stop lying to yourself.

im not lying to myself i know that there is a part of me so badly, willing to get high..its insane but its almost the only thing that makes sense in my life so why not + the fact that it has a good effect against anxiety in most people..and i told you i dont care if synthetic or not if it helps at least.

congrats..im about to try buspirone myself but i have to wait a month until i get prescribed some + i ordered mitragynine which kills my anxiety and enables to be my old self again for a while..and i will try tramal as soon as possible to see if that works for me too...hope i will be able to toke again with the aid of these meds.

Why are you against anxiety/depression meds... Yet seem fine about taking a synthetic opioid?

me?

...if so

im just against taking synthetic drugs myself...but i dont care if others take them and maybe there are some helpful synthetics out there but my experience is that nature is safer, i remember that my neurologist prescribed me a few different anti depressants and sedatives (even for anxiety) and my only reactions were 6 hour trips full of dizzyness, fear, tingling all over my body, nausea and dp/dr where i couldnt feel my body at all..i thought it leads to a stroke it was aweful  ...and dont forget i tried to get benzos and i failed several times, i dont even get them on the illegal way unless i pay 20€ for only 3 pills...

+ tramal is not synthetic even though it was first created in a lab.. its been found in nature not so long ago...

i think about taking tramal against my obsessive thoughts and severe depression..but im afraid it may cause me panic attacks...i guess you cant answer the question for me so i will have to give it a shot on my own since everybodys different

even though hppd is gone...i still couldnt do that..i would end up having a panic attack.

you arent at high school...you are high at school...or why are they scanning for drugs ...sry for being a stupid asshole.

i was taking 3- 5 hour walks (wasnt running though) through nature for about three month after my onset and always felt a bit better while and after it...my hppd is gone as you know...anyway i dont know if i could call this exercise and also if it is a reason why hppd faded...

the other thing is i dont think many people have the motivation to exercise with hppd/dp/dr..

very bad

I'm sorry that has been your case but you said medication can't help anyone. There's a big difference.

 

That's good to hear that your visuals have gone away! Did you have anxiety before HPPD? The anxiety that started with my HPPD is the worst and strongest symptom that I have.

 

Have you tried talking to a doctor about taking something for your depression? This sounds like you want to take drugs to self medicate.

if everyone instead of me defines '' being of help'' as just covering symptoms..then of course medication is helpful...i wouldnt even call it medicine as long as its not treating anything because if so its more of a drug..

i didnt have anxiety before hppd...just a little paranoia here and there...my vision is completely solid again and i dont get panic out of nowhere..just if i take too much drugs or experience altered states of another kind (like doing sports or driving in a car)..the problem i have is the severe depression (and rejection issues) and that makes me sick.

yes i spoke about a prescription with my doctor but she didnt want to prescribe me something useful because i have a drug past...my neurologist prescribed me shit and when i tried it i felt very sick and somehow depersonalized a bit..it was awful...

a friend told me he could offer benzos but i would have to pay 20€ for only 3 pills...so i rejected

ok so im glad that there is no link...because i will try it soon just to see if i really cant get panic attacks under the influence of benzos....maybe i will be able to smoke weed in higher doses again

Black or white thinking, and the premises and causality links are wrong also. I won't spend any more time in the discussion.

 

You posted that you were completely cured of HPPD. Why are you still wasting your time in this board?

i just think so absolute about this because its no option to cope with this unless you completely gave up living a life worth living..a life without hppd/dp/dr/anxiety must be possible its nothing i want to cope with...this is not wrong its just that you dont understand because you already gave up.

im here because my suffering didnt end even though hppd did..asking me why im wasting my time here is the same as asking why you + everyone else are here....i bet you have no clue ..i tell you its generally useless

excuse me for being rude but youre the most ignorant fool ive ever met here...and most probably an asshole

thats what i mean by saying cure...youre absolutely right if i claim im cured its not just that i dont have symptoms anymore..it also means that i cant get back to this condition....i just cant accept that we only try to deal with something so horrible without trying to cure it completely..i mean this would be the only thing worth the effort to me...sorry for disturbing you...but im no friend of trying to cope with shit instead of fighting it.