VisualDude

Leeeeeffffftt?

It is a parody of the concern of meeting other HPPDers ... who and under what circumstances. While many of us might want to, some cases can be a real downer such as the original posters experience. To meet with someone who is on a destructive course from the very same problem is less then helpful ... then add that there is a probability that they killed themselves and it is worse. The fangs are HPPD and its potentially destructive course. The two faces reflect the conflicts in viewpoints, the two-sides of a coin.

Interesting (sad if I were human) how many drink themselves into oblivion. But HPPD can scare the crap out a person and alcohol is a self-medication/way-out. Wonder how we might separate support groups? Recent (short-term), Been-a-while (medium-term), Long-timers? Perhaps: hysterical, blue, reconciled? How about left-brain or right-brain

Its hard to know for sure what is all going on. The small brain alteration with HPPD often affects the areas involved with anxiety. So it feeds anxiety and fears feed anxiety. You can work with the fear side directly but the other is trickier and may need meds to help. Depression is very similar to anxiety. Although it feels different, the same areas of the brain are affected. As for the job, its easy to get esteem tied up in it. But if you had a crappy boss, its his fault not yours. What type of work did you do? Your response to Wellbutrin is instructive ... though complicated to explain why. Did it affect your visuals at all? What was your dose? Most people with HPPD don't do well with SSRIs, antipsychotics (anti-dopamine), or SNRIs. However some do. If Prozac helped then maybe you need it to get out of the rut. Some of the positive meds for HPPDers have been Klonopin, Keppra, and Sinemet. Only a few have tried Sinemet but your response to Wellbutrin might indicate it would be good to try. Also the strobe motion thing. Do you have to doc who will prescribe without a hassle?

Well, you are not alone. While you have learned to accept the problem, enjoy and live life, you are still suffering and that is what 'ordinary' people don't understand. So this site is a place to 'share' this stuff. It is also healthy to keep a look out for things that might help. Seems that the first few year a person can feel desperate for a solution. Most people don't have HPPD 28 years but plenty do. Depression and anxiety are comorbid with HPPD. It isn't always just a reaction - something that you can simple fix with an attitude adjustment. For some there are minor neurological changes that are hard to deal with. What are the anti-depressants you've been taking? It helps to keep a log of how you respond to meds. Anticonvulsants can help depression but are usually sedative/groggy. Neurontin has been useful for some treatment resistant depression. How did you respond to it? Another key is to try different classes of meds. Your list is meds for seizure and/or anxiety. One class that helps me and a few others are dopamine increasing meds. Do you have 'body' symptoms? pain, restlessness, numbness, tremor, etc... There are a lot of questions but it helps to understand what you are experiencing and what you pharmacological responses are.

Byron, You say you are high-functioning autistic. Are you on any medications? Often people with autism have high levels of serotonin and a weak dopamine system (such as T356M polymorphism which messes with dopamine transportation). Also some may have higher levels of norepinephrine. There is a parallel with HPPD. Most HPPDers get worse with SSRIs which increase serotonin. And some (perhaps 30%) get some help taking meds that increase dopamine. And some have problems if they increase norepinephrine. So discuss this with your doctor. Try Klonopin first but see about meds that increase dopamine. Anyway, food for thought ...

Do you have other symptoms besides snow?

So you are able to do a little weed without problems ... just as some can drink without problems?

I wonder about the nerve signals from the retina being involved as well. In all your years with hppd, what meds have you tried?

Just some notes: Constraining hub = consistent/coherent narrative 'freeing' of thinking = "cerebral disinhibition" (Abraham) reality is a construction = the brain is a "meaning making machine" (Norden) ego (self) disintegration memory more vivid do to increased sensory activity psychedelics weaken constraints of the box = thinking outside the box = creativity Also the nature of schizophrenia depression and addiction are features of overly constrained systems = restrained novelty recreational use of psychedelics is dangerous, but controlled (clinic setting) use made be useful

Just had to make sure. Perhaps you were talking about a smoking-hot-babe which would account for a hormonal reaction that could last days ...

Funny, just was talking about MAOIs. Not familiar with moclobemide as it is described as a newer generation 'selective' MAOI without the tyromine problem. The short life would make life a see-saw. What is your dosage and schedual? You could try taking half a dose twice as often. For example, if you take 1 pill 3 times a day, you could take 1/2 pill 6 times a day. If Prozac makes it worse, what about Prozac make it desirable for you to return to it? Beside moclobemide, Prozac and Valium, what other meds have you tried?

Well, Its yours for four easy payments of $19.95 plus 4.99 shipping Just read this forum. Yes, there are plenty of writings promoting tripping, several I've read. Yes, there are many who trip without seeming to be harmed. Sort of like Russian roulette but instead of 6 chambers there are a couple hundred. Russian roulette is also probably not legal ... thus we don't see it on any 'reality shows' such as Survivor. Guess we need a HPPD reality show ... or would it be a non-reality show??? There are always many view points. But is it practical to sit on the fence? P.S. Good to see you back around. Someone was looking for you I've been interested in trying MAOIs and there is a certain logic to them. I have tried a MAO-B Inhibitor which worked absolutely great, just a little weak. Problem is getting docs to continue to prescribe. MAOs were the most successful 'mental' meds. But a person could get sick from eating too much cheese or other fermented foods. So other meds were developed (tricyclics, SSRIs, SNRIs) but statistically none have been as effective. They are still available but good luck getting one prescribed - - - guess that sort of means they are not available, just manufactured to look pretty on the shelf. If the doc will give it to you, try Selegeline. If so, under no circumstances take anything that increases serotonin or norepinephrine - a week before, during, or a week after.

Well it is always good to consider emotions. And training emotional response is good for many things such as anxiety. But don't forget that for some with HPPD, they are one a hair trigger ... a very sensitive balance. A see-saw is one thing ... it takes a fair amount of force and weight differance to change things. But a gram-scale will tilt on just 1 gram. You personally are very sensitive. It shows up it a lot of things you've spoken about. That doesn't mean you are a hypochondriac. But it does mean that you would benefit in finding ways to become less sensitive - and I don't mean taking small doses to condition response. BTW, you are refering to weed smoke, not cigarette?

Well, for HPPD definition you can start with wiki http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hallucinogen_persisting_perception_disorder Your signature includes several of the criteria: 1. Star-bursting 2.Visual Snow 3.Tinnitus 4.Blue Dots in Vision 5.After images 6.Trails Perhaps defining tripping might be useful: Most commonly it means "Under the influence of drugs" which the above are the result of. Then there is "get high on a psychedelic drug" - but then how do you define high But the root word trip often means going somewhere. Perhaps that is better in context to the above questions/statements. Would feeling drunk qualify? How about DR - feeling disconnected from the world around ... the world feeling weird? How about CEVs and OEVs? It seems that feeling-disconnected-from-reality seems to be at the heart of tripping. While this may seem to be knit-picking, it is important to understand or further refine what HPPD really is. As far as feeling that one "has sustained no unwanted side effects". There is what is obvious (more or less immediate) and the unobvious (long-term). Radiation poisoning may or may not have immediate effects. But radiation damage to the DNA can show up years later. The same with smoking tobacco. Which cigarette gave the guy cancer 20 years later? It is interesting that recent acid reduced HPPD. Perhaps you should try a MAOI.

Strychnine has been used for neurological problems. So has arsenic. Even mercury. But these can also have lasting negatives. There are plenty of things to try that are less dangerous. At times it seems amazing how people grasp for the most difficult and most dangerous but don't try to work with prescription meds.

David, While I am a different person than you, too much of what you wrote rings true You communicate quite well, yet life is a disorganized hell You have family and friends as assets, allow them to help you organize your baskets First get the H out of ADHD, then you can better focus and see To many projects will spread you too thin, and accomplishing them will end up grim If your goal is Society of Perception Disorders, in time you will establish its boarders As you're drowning in emails, and PMs, and text, deleting them will leave you less perplexed I'll not burden you with more of the same, but be assured you are quite sane And with time your life will be tame...

Love to here what those urban myths were. Were they worse that HPPD?

RLS, You're not alone. There have been a few others. It is good to be as positive as one can about situations one is stuck with. But most suffer and want to be back to 'normal' ... or some sort of 'well'. You mention taking advantage of it for playing sports. And speak about using it as you reach goals in your life. Some of us have lost goals. Jay can't drive. I can't hold a job and am in pain 24/7. If it wasn't for the meds I've got, I would have ended my life some time ago. Some have killed themselves because of HPPD. So while HPPD (etc.) is interesting, it isn't desirable.

Since there is a genetic component (weakness) to getting HPPD, there are no guarantees about how to take a drug safely.

Jay, I'd give you two "Like This" stars but it doesn't give me a button to do so. Probably to prevent staff from cronieism... Well, syphilis can eventually cause "Cupid's Disease" http://www.walnet.org/sos/cupidsdisease.html But symptoms also include open sores, a rash, fever, swollen lymph glands, sore throat, patchy hair loss, headaches, weight loss, muscle aches, and fatigue. If left untreated, syphilis can eventually cause damage to the brain, nerves, eyes, heart, blood vessels, liver, bones, and joints. In extreme cases it can cause difficulty coordinating muscle movements, paralysis, numbness, gradual blindness, mental illness, and even death. If you have syphilis and are pregnant, it can cause serious birth defects and stillbirth. While one might find an upside of VD, it is not good to ignore the big picture. Same goes for HPPD. So get well and get yourself a virtual reality interface. You can experience a lot more than just trails ... trails get boring too.

Yea sometimes ... but it just isn't fun there anymore like in the past.

Lots of folks report weed - even secondhand smoke - causing HPPD symptoms to soar. WuWei, My peripheral vision was very hyper and would cause things as you describe. Was not a problem with central vision. So might think a squirrel was a swan - the tail being a neck. Jumping because a parked truck looked like it would charge at me. Chainlink fences looking like smoke. Etc... You can get used to it, especially with laughter. The peripheral visual field is wired to a high speed 'vigilance' processing area. That causes 'startle' responses. Between this and the 'focal' visual processing being sluggish - these lead to temporary misperceptions of objects. At times, the brain tries to recognize objects with partial information. Seeing faces is common for some HPPDers. This video (with the song "Born to be Wasted") graphically illustracts perceptions from partial information (Warning: potentially errotic): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dnBKoeeTgjk It was Gabapentin that calmed this for me. And gradually (4 years) it has gone, even when not taking any meds. The brain seems to have corrected itself. These misperceptions now are mild and only when exhausted. Even without meds, you can do 'attention' exercises to dampen vigilance states --- the same state that is akin to anxiety. Merkan, So you had these symptoms prior to drugs? Or your adult life started with taking drugs?

Great article! The description of hypercolumns interacting when "mechanisms become unstable" is analogous to epilepsy though significantly milder. So OEVs and CEVs are part of the physical structure of the brain.. Its a great article ... and shows how 'natural' geometric hallucinations are. It also mentions the complex interaction of V1 with 'higher order' visual processing areas - tiny problems with communication between these cause symptoms that we have. These instabilities and efforts of the brain to compensate lead to hyperactivity in the brain --- the stuff that shows in qEEGs. Also, hyperactivity can contribute to 'cognitive exhaustion' that many experience. Due to peculiarities of my symptoms, can't help but think that some of my problems stem from signals from the retina. I do not have CEVs but did when a child, and used to 'play' with them both with imagination and mild pressure on the eyeballs. By 30 years of age, these 'companions' were gone. However, I can get CEVs from Keppra. The importance and effects of edge detection and shading are keys to visual perception. Watch perception build: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zn2VYPsovZM https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzHOLJtpFa0