r.trudeau

I tried telling my parents in the past, and of course, they said it was normal to see vs at night and sometime people talk "funny." (yea, right!) Also, when I told them about my memory problems they just blamed in on the weed, the weed clammed me down, helped me focus and remember things, as I have bad ADHD. So they basically ignored their own daughter falling apart in front of their eyes and refused to get me help, until I faked an attempt to kill myself so they would get me the proper care I needed. But, sadly my planed failed, the doctors thought I was going nuts so they put me on loony pills for a bit, which only made my symptoms worse. When I finally got out of the ward, rehab and the recovery house I was finally 18, meaning I could see doctors without my parents consent. After searching high and low for docs who didn't think I was a nut like my family, I found one who exactly knew what was talking about, and now I'm on my way to recovery thanks to Keppra and a low dose of k'pin.

Also if you're parents/doctors/friends don't think HPPD is real, print out information online on it, forums, wiki, dr Abrahams stuff and wave those papers in their face, trust me, they will have a change of heart and a bit of sympathy for you.

The jaw tension is wierd. Its like uv been out on mandy all night, jaw clicks and stuff. It aint nice

bruxism at night and your jaw hurts the next day^^

had it in my first HPPD weeks think it was stress related.

Yeah the jaw tension started going away in about maybe a month and a half, wouldn't be too concerned about it. It should dissipate once you stop stressing at night about your anxieties, if it doesn't go away, buy a mouth guard.

Yeah I try to read sometimes too. Iv always been sorta, that laid back dude but the brain fog has fucked me. I used to sharp and funny...

I was the exact same way, super chill, witty and also always had something funny to say.

bummmmmmerrrrrrrrrrr I want that old Rene back sooo bad. I'd rather get beat up ten times than get HPPD lol

It sucks a bitch, but Gmo, you are so right about how reading helps. After I read for a couple of hours it helps my speech so, so tremulousness much, and my stutter is almost non existent. Sometimes I wish I could just type everything out, then I wouldn't sound so illiterate, even though in the back of my mind I know I'm not. But ya, glad to know that I'm not alone, too!

Also, the Keppra is still doing it's job! Memories are coming back, thought process is more normal, life feels almost real again (lol!), speech is improving daily and I would say I'm 70 percent back to my old self.

You said in you had speech problems??? Like what?? I had/have speech issues after my bad trips.......it's gotten better over time but I still fumble over my words more than I think the normal person does. I also think I kinda mumble a lot cause I find people are always asking me to repeat myself.

Oh god, yea I had (still kind of have) speech problems that I got after having two bad acid trips, back to back. I have the same issues as you, stutter, say the wrong word, say a word that sounds similar to the word I wanted to say, mumbling and sometimes my sentence structure is out of wack. Thankfully, it's gotten better since I started to take the medication. But before Keppra, I hated talking because I thought I sounded like an idiot and I paid too much attention to my voice, causing me to fumble over my words even more.

I was just curious because ever since I got HPPD my dreams have been very vivid, but weird. Before HPPD my dreams were normal, they made pretty good sense and were through my eyes. And now my dreams are wild, sometimes it feels like I'm watching a movie, like I'm having an out of body experience in my dream. And the weirdest thing is that my dreams usually don't make sense, at all. They're like a billion random movie clips put together as one, and sometimes I'm the main actress and sometimes I'm not.

Surprisingly, it's kinda the same over here if you want to see any type of doctor beyond a psychiatrist or a general doctor. Once, I wanted to see a neuro and was told I needed a referral, got one from my doc, called the neurologists office and they told the next available appt was in two months. AND most people have to pay a 20 dollar co'pay every single time you see a doc, depending on your insurance. It's really not that different over here, unless you're uninsured.

Congratulations on your success with Keppra, I envy you Please tell me, did you suffer from light sensitivity before Keppra? And do you notice any side effects from it? (Keppra I mean).

Thanks man, hope you make the decision to try it for yourself. And to answer your question, yes, my eyes were very sensitive to light when I first got HPPD, but the sensitivity slowly got better in eight months, I would say.

And nope, I don't notice any side effects from Keppra, unless you consider a self confidence raise as one.

Awesome.

Did you have ghosting? Or starbursting?

What do you mean by "ghosting?" And yea, there was a lot of little black stars bursting in my visual field. I don't know if they became less frequent or if I just learned to ignore them, but I haven't noticed any since I began the medication.

If I were you, I would skip the shrink all together. Tried that route once and ended up right back where I stared, at the psychiatrists office. Just find a whole new doc, if you can, as it would probably make things a million times easier for you. Also, if you get on Keppra there may be no need for an anti anxiety medication because I haven't been taking mine since I've started. And my anxiety was pretty bad, but the medication differs per person, I guess.

I wouldn't mess with it, made my head hurt, legs were restless, body was shaking and my appetite was suppressed.

hope not

What visual symptoms did you have?

The whole 9 yards! When I first got HPPD the carpet would move, geometrical patters would appear on white walls, stuff on tables would swift around and peoples faces in the dark had either an orange or green glowing neon color outlining their face, cheeks and eyes. Had those and below symptoms for about 5 months I think

Had these symptoms until I started keppra: VS, CEV, halos, trails after images, the area where the wall met the ceiling was "wiggly" and sometimes color hues would look off. The only symptoms I have now are the snow and light closed eyed visuals.

Your story sounds very similar to mine, I got hppd when I was 18 first semester of college. It was and still is the hardest thing I have even been through. The only difference is I did use drugs regularly in high school, but I was still a good student. I almost failed out of college because of hppd. I know what you mean with the reading, it can be quiet a challenge I gave up many times because things would not stay still. Now I am in my third year of college and although my symptoms are no better I have learned to cope with them. I still struggle when it comes to reading and even finding motivation to do homework but I find a way. Surprisingly I've made the deans list a few times since! Good luck, I hope things get better and you can go back to school

I did drugs pretty regularly too, just different stuff every other weekend...until the LSD

Happy you figured out how to cope with school, I've tried going back four times and was forced to give up because my brain fog was just way too much to deal with. I'm thinking about going back to med school next fall in hopes of being all the way better by then!

Keep up the good work and have a good last year of school, unless your going for your masters of course.

Oh another thing, I am sure you have heard it before but your not brain damaged. I thought I was but to my surprise I am able to still learn and retain what I learn. Also us people with hppd tend to have higher IQ's I read that a few places and it makes sense. You're very smart and still are.

It's funny that you mentioned that! About 6 months ago I was having one of my typical "I'm a blithering idiot freak outs," so I took an IQ test and scored an IQ of 133, which is considered "gifted." But of course, the panic attack still continued afterward...

I might need to try that approach with my doctor. She didnt have a clue about hppd and just didnt want to give me anything. I wanted xanex for the anxietybut apparently its not legal here, im wondering if klono and keppra will be.

You should go to a pdoc who specializes in substance abuse and tell them that you're having reoccurring acid flashbacks, in a sense. (they will know what that is, if they don't, leave and find a better pdoc) My best advice would be to print out all the links bellow. Once they're printed, highlight the important information.

http://www.ionchanne...p?pmid=17095897

http://en.wikipedia....eption_disorder

http://www.neurosoup...n_interview.htm

http://www.keppraxr....out/safety.aspx

https://www.ncbi.nlm...pubmed/11475916

http://www.biopsychi...m/clonazlsd.htm

https://docs.google....1h0BMk_PjxV2nDi

The last link are the testimonials, and for the study please, please don't give out the link to the study to others, as I don't want to get into trouble for giving it out, considering I paid $31 dollars to http://www.jns-journal.com (Journal of the Neurological Sciences) for it. I'll pm the study to you.

With all that info in front of a pdocs face they cannot say no, it would be way too ignorant for them to ignore hard evidence like so in their faces.

OOOH yea, one more thing, if your doctor is reluctant to prescribe you benzos, pm me and I'll give you a site to help you out. Only, if you are in direr need, of course. Benzo addiction sucks big d from what I've read.

pre HPPD- traveling along the coast of cali

nice job man! does your hppd effect your memory at all?

That's a hell of a mix!

hopefully you have struck gold. Are you planning to cut down on the other meds, if Keppra keeps working?

Great to hear a possible success story

The only med I want to completely stop are the k'pins, as I don't want to get caught up in a bezo addiction. My pdoc is planning to help me tapper of slowly starting in six weeks. And for the nootropics and other supplements, I plan on taking those for life and doing cycles of the noopept (1 month off every 3 months).

I hope I struck gold too! I'll keep you all updated!

are you on any other meds or supplements?

The only reason why I want to increase my dosage is because I want to emulate the study, but if It's too much for me I'll cut down.

And I'm taking k'pin as needed (2-3x per week) and I sometimes take nootropics, they seem to boost the positive effects of keppra. I'm taking noopept 15mgs, aniracetam 700-800mgs and a choline + inositol supplement.

Here's a picture of the other stuff i take, misusing a general multivitamin and vitamin b drops.

https://mail.google....1471720448-1

I take 2 of the gaba, 1 fish oil cap, 1 ginkgo 2x per day and 2 choline/inositol.

This is great news.... You don't have to jump to 1500mg if you are already feeling good. Keppra is a strong med, just take the amount that makes you feel normal (you could even try lowering the dose).

Are you taking anything else?

The only reason why I want to increase my dosage is because I want to emulate the study, but if It's too much for me I'll cut down.

And I'm taking k'pin as needed (2-3x per week) and I sometimes take nootropics, they seem to boost the positive effects of keppra. I'm taking noopept 15mgs, aniracetam 700-800mgs and a choline + inositol supplement.

Here's a picture of the other stuff i take, misusing a general multivitamin and vitamin b drops.

https://mail.google....1471720448-1

I take 2 of the gaba, 1 fish oil cap, 1 ginkgo 2x per day and 2 choline/inositol caps.

Thanks man and I started taking keppra after reading about the promising results of the research study.

Hey guys, I've got some really good news! I've been on keppra for just two days and already there's been a 95 percent drop in mental side effects and 70-75 percent drop in visuals. This seems a little bit too good to be true. My brain feels almost as sharp as it was before I got HPPD, memory is back, stutter is gone, emotions are back, and most importantly NO MORE ANXIETY!! This is great, my life has been given back to me.

The quote bellow describes my feelings before medication.

Ok, so here's the run down. I've had full fledged hppd for two years after having a terrible trip on LSD. I rather not go into the details of the trip because it will give me a panic attack. The drugs I've done prior to LSD were: 2ce, 2cb, 4fa, mushrooms, cocaine, k, mxe, MDMA, various ADHD medication and a few benzos. That may sound like a lot, but all that was done over a span of 5 years and nothing was done habitually. The only "drug" I did weekly was pot.

Back to the hppd, after the trip was over it became very hard for me to think and talk. It was as if there was a wheel in my head, but the furry animal who kept the wheel going had died. The sad thing is that when I got hppd I was in college at 17, getting a 4.0 and on track for med school. Now, I think I'm one of the most ignorant people out there. I can't go back to school because it's hard to read( lose my place, a lot!), remember, voice my thoughts and the visuals are very distracting. I really don't know what to do, as I've tried everything from meditation to nootropics. Ever since hppd hit me in the face it scraped me bare of my pride, brains, ego, friends and practically my life. Hate to sound so depressing, but It's true. I've tried holding my head up for years but brain fog/anxiety mess will not go away. I would be fine if my only symptom was stuff moving around...this social anxiety is killing my brain. I was never an out going person at 1st, but I came around eventually. And, once you got me talking it was hard to make me stop! Is that person still there?

Guess I rambled on for long enough. Thanks for reading!

Oh yea! I forgot to mention that I'm starting keppra tomorrow. It's kind of my last hope/resort, if this doesn't work who knows what will.

Everyone should give this medication a shot if you're out of options. I have the actual keppra research study if you want a copy as it helps convince your doctor to give you the medication. If you want it just send me a msg. I'll report back when my current dose of 1000mgs per day boosts up to 1500mgs in two weeks.

Have a good day!

Hey i am in the same problem as you... i have 19 years i am from ecuador..! i find this web site!! i am scared about my mental health.. i leave med school! i have to concentrate in my future but this shit still ringing in my head! So it will be nice that you tell me about keppra medicattion..! i am worried because i wont find that medicine in my place! my fucking regret is taking LSD!

Hey, I hope all is good with you. I'm sorry you had to leave med school too, it's really hard to get over the fear of not being able to complete school. Try not to worry too much, it will only make things worse.

I just got on keppra a few days ago and it's a miracle in a pill! All of the my mental side effects are gone, the only thing I notice is very light VS in rooms with artificial light. If you have access to a doctor I would strongly recommend that you print out the keppra testimonial file, keppra research study and general information on HPPD. That's what I did and it was enough to convince my doctor to give me the medication. If you can't find the study or the file message me for the links. Have a good day!

Good news everyone, I've been on keppra for two days and all my symptoms are gone, completely gone! It's almost as if I've never had HPPD! I hate to report such good results so soon but it's all true! I'll post again when I increase my dose from 1000 to 1500 in two weeks. Have a good day everyone!