r.trudeau

i recognise everything here, but i am so much better than i was. It was like your mouth was a pipe and if there was more than one way of saying something then all possible permutations would try and squeeze out of the pipe and get stuck so it came out a bit jumbled. I also thought i had a hearing problem - but my hearing sense is fine but understanding goes if hard to follow or background noise. A freind who was a confident talker took lsd and ended up with hppd - he would sit quietly in the corner with a thesaurus in his pocket and would sit there looking at it, working out what he would have said if he could remember the word.

May help to get a job where you have to talk to the general public. I have to and i think it helps as you have to say basically the same thing so not too demanding but do have to explain yourself to a wide variety of people, tho my speech starts to go when i'm tired.

Your friends kind of sounds like myself to a lesser extent, I sat silently in the corner with my smart phone, it was much more efficient.

I have a really demanding job, that requires me to use my communication skills during the full eight hour shift. I am a nurses aid at a hospital; I verbally have to tell family members about their loves one condition, if they died and ect ect ect & report to doctors/nurses all day, and most importantly provide care to my patients..whether it be injecting insulin or helping an old lady cope with the fact that she is about to lose a limb. I deal with stuff like that all day. Anyways, back to the point..my mouth is running all day. Maybe I am just over thinking my speech problem after all...

Well, I am glad to hear that it was most likely go away with time. I think I've said this in this topic or a previous topic, but I think speech problem associated with HPPD is purely anxiety related. Whenever I drink or pop a benzo it is as if there wasn't any speech issues to begin with. ugh

m

I'd get the date my hppd triggered across my knuckles to remind me of when my life got flipped and thrown into shit haha that is if i have any room left once im finished with my current projects

I wish I remembered the date I got hppd, may be ill get the year and the month tattooed across my wrist.

I still say shit wrong all the time, but the hppd is gone, kinda. do you think taking speech classes would help?

idk how much I pay, I think its 10 bucks a month taking 1500mgs a day.

ferret-ok.....i see.......how big were the caps?, were they brownish caps with white-white stems? and the shrooms didn't look like little penises, did they? .......(lol)

mikezero- starbrusting has finally subsided .......and that was certainly a shtty symptom.......starbursting i always felt were very similar to migraines. I found that if i didn't drink enough, i would start getting migraine symptoms. Do u have any benzo around to see if it helps? Ibuprofen?

r.trudeau- i'm just concerned how long you have been on the keppra? i read somewhere that they usually only prescribe it for a short period of time: like ~6 months or something: for HPPD. (maybe that was

sinemet?...)

The Keppra study suggested that the subjects stayed on it for a full year to even notice the full benefits.

Im the same as you mgrade, my hppd has a baseline and when its not flaring up its easier to manage. But its relapsed 3 times (if you count the 1st onset of it). Then its ptsd city and my phyche is turned inside out for months. As an analogy Its a bit like gjostbusters where they store all the Dickhead ghosts in the big containment unit in the base n then the baddy guy lets them all out in a oner and they terrorise manhatton. Well, my brains manhatton (probs spelt manhatton wrong but im not american).

I exercise like a beast, or as much as my shitty nervous system lets me before i get overtraining symptoms. My prob is insomnia. I dont sleep well which puts me on the backfoot right from the am.

Was just wondering rtrudeau as im (hopefully, eventually) gonna get on keppra to try it what its like for sleep? Any issues in getting or staying asleep with it?

No sleep issues, at all. You're actually start to take the 1st dose in the morning then another dose before bed, which allows me to sleep all through out the night as a child.

I had or have a slight social anxiety mines more with talking to chicks I been reading a great book introducing nlp all about being confident and successful lol

I was born a Lezbo so talking to girls ls like second nature haha, if I'm not having a bad SA day or have just a single blue moon I'm golden! haha I'll have to add that book to my reading list, and thanks for the advice man!

r.trudeau-ADs?....you got SSRIs and DNRI-type AD (these 2 are best IMO) ......You may benefit looking into these

duty- toe shoes?.....they comfy?

I am kinda afraid to take anti d because they make my visuals a little woncky. do you know of any anti that react will with keppra??? I am going to my pdoc on monday and she what she says, but yes, I do realize pilzz in bottles don't always correct things.

I've had this, hence getting out my tree in my formative years. Still a bit SA'd up but you've just got to grow into yourself in a not giving a fuck what people think way. Your still young. I went through a period of constantly wearing hats to give myself a shield against SA haha. Just automatically couldnt handle people i didnt allready know. Think it's maybe time to go hat shopping again.

I use to wear big hoodies as a child! want to go shopping? haha

You're all right, I think I just need to start living life again. I thought it would be a walk in the park once my hppd was gone, but I was so, so, so wrong. Just didn't realize that my old problems would come back to bite me in the ass. For the last month I've been doing nothing besides working, sleeping, and eating junk...I think

I need to get off my ass and clean my room and get back into my normal exercise routine. It's such an easy solution to a complex problem, but it's much easier said than done.

Thanks

Now that my HPPD is gone for the most part do you think I should take anti d’s to make my SA go away, or should I continue to keep on ignoring it, even though it still eats at me and my SA is very evident to other people. I know all this may sound petty to you guys, considering you have visuals and an array of other symptoms, but I was in your guys shoes too at one point, for a good chunk of my teenage life. What should I do? It's like I forgot how to talk to other people?!

Everything is expense here if you don't have insurance or are not broke enough to qualify for state insurance.

I could only imagine, if I didn't have insurance it would cost me at least 200+ a month. And yea, I'm still taking the same dosage.

The majority of my battle with HPPD is below; if you want to read more of it just go to my intro thread and read up. Feels like there’s enough info on me to write a mini book!

The quote bellow describes my feelings before medication.

Ok, so here's the run down. I've had full fledged hppd for two years after having a terrible trip on LSD. I rather not go into the details of the trip because it will give me a panic attack. The drugs I've done prior to LSD were: 2ce, 2cb, 4fa, mushrooms, cocaine, k, mxe, MDMA, various ADHD medication and a few benzos. That may sound like a lot, but all that was done over a span of 5 years and nothing was done habitually. The only "drug" I did weekly was pot.

Back to the hppd, after the trip was over it became very hard for me to think and talk. It was as if there was a wheel in my head, but the furry animal who kept the wheel going had died. The sad thing is that when I got hppd I was in college at 17, getting a 4.0 and on track for med school. Now, I think I'm one of the most ignorant people out there. I can't go back to school because it's hard to read( lose my place, a lot!), remember, voice my thoughts and the visuals are very distracting. I really don't know what to do, as I've tried everything from meditation to nootropics. Ever since hppd hit me in the face it scraped me bare of my pride, brains, ego, friends and practically my life. Hate to sound so depressing, but It's true. I've tried holding my head up for years but brain fog/anxiety mess will not go away. I would be fine if my only symptom was stuff moving around...this social anxiety is killing my brain. I was never an out going person at 1st, but I came around eventually. And, once you got me talking it was hard to make me stop! Is that person still there?

Guess I rambled on for long enough. Thanks for reading!

Oh yea! I forgot to mention that I'm starting keppra tomorrow. It's kind of my last hope/resort, if this doesn't work who knows what will.

Start taking 250 twice a day then in one week increase your dose to 500mgs and 250 at night, wait another week then go up to 500mg and 500mg at night and If you're feeling up to it take 1000mg in the am and 500mg in the PM the following week. That's the dosage the study suggested and that's exactly what I did. I would have to say it took about 3 and a half months for all my symptoms to subside.

Thanks man. Why do your visual symptoms bother you?

You can look at the two other threads I've started, they both go into my symptoms and how I recovered. I've had hppd for a little over two years now and it took me 3 months to get rid of it thanks to keppra, exercise, natural diets, reading and a lot of strenuous brain expanding exercises. And of course, being positive and believing, truly believing that all the changes you're implementing in your life will cure yourself.

Shit, I don't think I'm cured, but I strongly believe that all of my mental and psychological issues have completely dissipated. The only symptoms I'm experiencing is light visual snow, it is only there if I look for it..more like search for it. My experience with Keppra thus far has been completely amazing, for the most part. About a month ago my hppd came back, strongly, just like it hit me when I first developed it over 2 years ago. luckly, it went away completely within roughly 3 days and ever since then I've been practically cured. Get on this drug and give it a shot, if it worked for me it might work for you.

I've been trying to get on this site for months, but every time I tried to the account was suspended. LOL thought I got banned...what the heck happened?

Hey! Things are going great, I'm pretty much back to my old self and honestly, I don't think there's anymore improving that can possible happen now. I'm on 1500mgs a day and 1mg of a benzo every three days.

Yeah, I've learned not to mix the medication with beer, too. One, it takes a lot less to get drunk and two, the hang over the last a few days...and it's no normal hang over, it reminds of the hangovers I use to get after doing x too many days in a row, just flat out fucking terrible.

Since I've been on Keppra I've been able to smoke basically any strain of weed. But the other day I forgot to take my dose and I smoked, and let me tell you, I was tripping balls for a good 30 mins...thankfully once the weed wore off I returned back to my base line.

I fumble my words around, can't find the right ones some times (luckily i have a big vocabulary and can substitute other words). Some times I stammer over sentences or slur certain words. I think anxiety has a lot to do with it, and how medicated I am (or aren't).

I would suggest working on your anxiety to deal with it.

Agreed, I think the speech issues are due to anxiety, not brain damage. Once I got over listing to myself speak and the fear associated with social situations all my speech issues dissipated.

I've heard that CBDs are theoretically supposed to relieve symptoms. Never heard anyone actually try it. Sounds like my ideal medicine though Glad to hear everything is going swell though! Sounds like I need to move to Seattle.

Thanks man. And yeah it truly does relieve an array of symptoms and it is also neuro protective! It's almost too good to be true. Hope you're getting by well, too!