r.trudeau

Yep, indeed I did. That's main thing keppra has gotten rid of, actually. At first it was helping with the visuals, a lot, but then in seemed to get rid of my dp/dr, completely. Now I'm dp/dr free, but the only residual part of my HPPD is the VS, but I can get that to clear up by taking some benzos. It doesn't really bother me that much though, at least I have most of my old brain back. It's really nice not to have brain fog anymore, but damn, since the fog has been lifted it's kinda hard not to get overwhelmed at times.

The rage went away a couple of days ago for me, but before that the tiniest thing take me off. You should try waiting it out.

As of right now, I'm taking 1000mgs right as I wake up then 500mgs right before bed. Good luck, hope the meds work out for ya.

This thread really got blown up, wasn't expecting this at all when I made it. God, Keppra is doing it's job wonderfully, but it's making me want to return back to my old "ways." Every night I have dreams about smoking weed with my old buddies and mannn it's really making me miss hitting the pipe. I was a hardcore stonner before HPPD.

I know that a lot of people are born with things like visual snow and consider it to be normal. I cant speak for everyone else, but i saw my symptoms appear in a matter of seconds, id never seen trails, static, or afterimages while sober, i didnt even know such a thing as visual snow existed, so for me to be "normal" is to not see any of this shit.

Yeah same here! I was talking to a friend about HPPD yesterday and she was like "wait, what? So it's not normal to see static in pitch black rooms? Am I going to go nuts?" Haha she got so concerned for a bit.

Happy Friday to you too! btw

Ya I've def thought about it. The main problem is I'm bipolar and worried about keppra rage. Plus I take so many meds already I really don't want to try anything else till I get off of most.

Tramadol, nuerontin and zanaflex for sports injuries, depakote for bipolar and a high dose of klono for hppd. I just don't feel comfortable adding anything else.

No doctors have a clue I have hppd, I tell them my probs are anxiety related. (Hate the way they react when I mention hppd)

So I really don't think any doc would prescribe keppra anyways.

That's great your friends and family get the old you back, Happy Friday!!

Yeah, I'm bi poloar too, it got past down to me by my father. The keppra actually helps with that though, as it is also used as a mood stabilizer, as well. Do the other meds you're taking besides the k'pins make your hppd worse, or can you not tell because the K'pins block out their side effects?

Im afraid of goin into my old neighborhood and touching the walls or doors with my hands for fear that this kid i know who used to sell acid mightve touched em right before me...it's pretty OCD, but ive read cases of HPPDers gettin contact highs because our threshold is so low that it really freaks me out even though i realize how crazy it is

Oh god, I felt the same way. It got so bad that I actually moved away from my old neighborhood.

That's too awesome! I really hope it continues to work, there's nothing I wouldn't give for these improvements. I still do pretty good, but I really wish I could show my wife who I really am. GL!

I know what you mean, my family is so happy to have the old me back. Have you thought about trying Keppra, at all?

Before Keppra, have you experience dp-dr?

Yep, indeed I did. That's main thing keppra has gotten rid of, actually. At first it was helping with the visuals, a lot, but then in seemed to get rid of my dp/dr, completely. Now I'm dp/dr free, but the only residual part of my HPPD is the VS, but I can get that to clear up by taking some benzos. It doesn't really bother me that much though, at least I have most of my old brain back. It's really nice not to have brain fog anymore, but damn, since the fog has been lifted it's kinda hard not to get overwhelmed at times.

During, i'd say. After I felt really calm, a little jumbled, but I figured that's just because the trip was so intense. I actually did more coke that day, and smoked a few bowls. I had absolutely no idea about anything. Crazy stuff. It all seems really retarded now. I've actually recently been feeling better, things visually and mentally are seeming to clear up a little since I've been exercising. Either that or im getting really used to it.

I think it may be a mix of both, when I exercise my HPPD is almost non-existent for at least of couple of hours, but then it comes back, as fucking always.

my wife isnt able to cut mushrooms because she cant smell it since the mushi trips^^

i love uncooked mushrooms. i always loved the taste of philosophia stones tastes like nuts and truffle^^

That is just crazy, when my hppd was really bad I'd eat anything in plain sight. At least I'm not a picky eater anymore.

With the tagline "No matter how fucked you are, there are people more mental"

oh my gosh, that iss the best thing I've seen in awhile.

Let's say one day you feel like you have over come your HPPD, what type of symbolic tattoo or quotes would you get?

My room is pitch black right now and It's great, no fuzz, snow, static just darkness! Keppra is still doing its thing, thankfully.

yeah, it's an anti seizure medicine, so definitely by a doctor, many shrinks won't prescribe it regardless of whether they believe you or not, and will send you to a neurologist

My pdoc said screw the neuro and gave me a script for Keppra on the spot. Contrary to popular believe, Keppra is actually a pretty safe med, only 10 percent of patients feel side effects, so it's really not that hard to obtain.

No kidding, it's a huge relief! I mean, it doesn't change a whole lot, but if you're in the same boat I'm in, then I guess that means i'm not the only one paddlin!

Right, hate to say this, but I don't feel like the only idiot now, no offense man. Were your thoughts really jumbled during/after the trip?

Nahhhh I can't tell my parents. I honestly wouldn't even consider it. They're getting pretty old and my mom's pretty old fashioned and I already know she would lose it if I told her I'm experiencing problems from acid. She flipped when she found weed in my car, and never found out I was messing with harder stuff, it'd break her little heart haha.

But, do you still use drugs r.trudeau???

Well, if things start getting overwhelming, get the help you need while your still ahead, unlike myself who waited 2 years in complete misery. And yea I do, know I shouldn't, but yeaaa...I get into the bezos, oxys and a little bit of hard a now and then. Those are the only drugs that don't mess with my HPPD.

.

I know for a fact if it wasnt for u and ur story and reasurrance in the first week i had hppd i probably woulda gone insane or killed myself. even now i still think, if jay can get by then i will too

I wish I would have found this site, I went insane and faked an attempt to kill myself because my parents wouldn't believe me. Back fired on me though, the people in the ward thought I was crazy and stuck me on really harsh loony pills, as I like to put it. They had no idea what HPPD was, they just thought I was a lost cause then sent me to rehab....awesome docs, huh?

Really? That is interesting. It wasn't some coke, more like a lot. And some beer. I felt like a king until I realized my heart literally wasn't too into it. But at least we have the formula down. I guess, it could have been worse. Comforting to hear someone else did some of the same things I did.

Likewise! I forgot to mention the weed and hard a, as well. It is really comforting in a sense. Just hope no one makes the same mistakes as us!

Ahhhhhhhh well fuck it then, I guess I'm on my own.

Don't give up man, gather up the courage to tell them, trust me the support and acceptance will help you, tremendously.

Wow, I'm at a loss for words. Very similar type symptoms, at a lesser degree, it sounds. Acid was always a mystical venture to say the least. Then I mixed with Cocaine and that was a whole different beast. I ended up willingly accepting death because I thought my heart was going to explode. The Doors were playing in the background (The End, ironcially), and I just gave up. Mad visuals, foggy brain. Then it stopped, my heart felt fine. Nothing after that, just life as usual. Then there was my second DXM experience a year later, that was what really put me over board. Just a dirty drug all around. I remember staring at myself in the mirror for an hour, and seeing past myself, I felt like a mass of waste. Terrible experience, brought on this HPPD stuff. I feel fine, then I don't. So it's a terrible waiting game, for better or for worse. But thanks to all you wonderful people, I have some last hope of defense if it gets really bad. Hmm, the plot thickens . . .

Anyway, i'm glad to hear you are doing well with the keppra, seems to me a lot of people respond surprisingly well to it in lower doses! Keep up the good fight all!

Oh what! The last LSD trip I had was mixed with some coke too, I had the EXACT same reaction as you. Well, guesss there's a lesson to be learned here. LSD+cocaine=HPPD.

I know, I'm taking a vitamin B6 complex. Read somewhere that it helps significantly with the side effects. How much did Keppra help you Jay?

Yep, I'm in the same boat as you, I had about two maybe three good trips before the two acid freaks outs that caused the HPPD. And yeah, I think I had some personal issues before the bad trips, but it was nothing major.

Oh yes, quite alot. It's more my DPDR than my HPPD though. My concentration and recall are pretty shot as well, but i manage. I know all the information's in there, it just doesnt come out when i need it to..i just read your introductory post...i also have a hard time speaking and formulating thoughts, it's pretty annoying, glad youre goin back to school, if I could do it, im sure that you can too...

Thanks dude, you give me hope! I'm stating back up next fall, so hopefully my brain will be ready by then!

Right? Sometimes I would wake up and be like "damn, that molly must have been cut with some bzp, ooh nope, never mind, it's just the HPPD, seeing that I haven't rolled in months, fack my life."

I miss it too dude.

Yea, that's true. The old me has been here all a long, just waiting for the "current" me to snap out of it and carry on with a normal life without drugs...and new friends and some new hobbies to replace the "reckless" one I use to live for. It's hard to get along with people who don't take part in the "scene," it's almost as if there's two different worlds out there.

This is sounding really good. Very happy for you.

Please keep us up to date with progress and let us know when you stop other meds, especially klonopin

Thankfully, you can stay on Keppra for life without tolerance or addiction. I'd call that a HPD cure!

Just been taking the nootropics, vitamins and sometimes I'll take some etizolam or k'pins, if I'm having troubles at night. (3x a week, roughly)

I'm feeling about 70 percent back to my old self again, so a big WOOOPIEE for that, but the only side effects of Keppra so far is a suppressed appetite and little drowsiness after I take the first dose in the mornings.