Syntheso

Anyone interested in doing a meet-up in London ? Have a drink, chat, exchange ideas, whatever. Say yeah if you're in and I'll make a Doodle poll for the date. Best, S

Yeah...brandmedicines.com could be a bad supply. Do that and let me know!

I'm too tired to fully respond, but I would just like to make it clear, I wasn't suggesting that dropping more psychedelics would somehow resolve HPPD. I agree, that would most definitely make things 10x worse if that was the sole method. What I mean is - I am inclined to believe that inducing the kind of psychedelic/hallucinogenic states that brought us here, to activate responsible areas, would be a starting point in tackling what I believe is more of a core issue - beyond simply containing the sympathetic nervous system, which I would argue would only be palliative and not something that has a potential in resolving what is fundamentally going on (I believe the core issues involve the emotional centres i.e hippocampus + amygdala). I speculate psychedelics (again, those things that brought us here) could be the only substances that could invoke certain areas fundamental to the pathogenesis of HPPD... and I suggest that invoking a therapy or form of medication simultaneously whilst inducing these states, could condition the mind not to result in a residual perceptive and cognitive trauma (I have done some reading which I mean to put together in a post in relation to HPPD + PTSD), but condition it to deal with it. I know it sounds whacky, but I believe that the answer will be outside the box. Not saying that's necessarily the case, but I'm open to that as an option. Anyway, I have been meaning to put this into a more fleshed review. I hope to do so very soon. Addendum: so, not saying fight fire with fire; relight the fire and simultaneously distinguish it i.e. as above - condition the brain to fight the fire (well, learn how to deal with it).

I was being a bit facetious. But I do wonder (can't see this happening any time soon) if by inducing a trip/something like it under medical supervision and some sort of designed therapy/treatment programme, you could possibly resolve and deal with the trauma (which I believe is the cause of the hyper-arosual of the sympathetic nervous system, as they think with PTSD), coming to terms with it by confronting it, and conjunctively stimulating your body with ways to aid that process, with medication and/or some sort of therapy. I do believe that engaging the fear response (FPS - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fear_potentiated_startle) could be important too, as with treating PTSD etc which I have mentioned some of my thoughts to you on. I haven't quite tied all the knots up on this and will be trying to do so. But I think finding a cure (if possible) for HPPD will be very surprising. Perhaps as surprising as involving the substances that brought us into this. Maybe...!

I agree. People tend to be quite open on this forum and put across things that have worked for them, sharing insights, ideas, ways to live better etc. because.... we're all in the same/similar places so can empathise with each other. If you know how shit you feel, then you have a good idea about how shit we all feel. So like Chris said, if you've found some great things to help.. just share them openly, no need to be arcane about it. Wishing you well.

Okay, so Tofisopam didn't seem to do a lot for me.. if anything made me feel worse, but it could have been that today was going to be a bad day anyway. Point is.. it didn't stop me from having a bad day, I had a bad day after taking it with no apparent redeeming features. My visuals have been considerably worse since I took the Tofisopam. If my average visual rating is 5-7/10 for visuals (10 being worse) then today after Tofisopam 250mg is 8. In the hour after taking I felt okay.. if not a bit better (as mentioned in post above). After two hours I was practicing my sax for a bit and, classic, after 5-10 minutes (a pathetic amount of time to practice for) I had to put it down, started feeling the fog, blah blah. Like I had to lie down. So I did... sleep (interesting considering it's meant to be a 'stimulant' benzo).. woke up maybe an hour later... visuals were crazy (for me), 8.5-9 (unusual for me). These gradually have subsided but are still worse than a usual day. Generally had one of those foggy days where I have slept a lot because I can't contemplate doing much else Would be good to get a second opinion. I'll give it another go another time too just to see Time for some Xanax

I wouldn't be surprised if some psychs + some sort of therapy would be the only way to bend the mind back ;-)

Good stuff! Been about an hour since I took my dose, brain fog seems mildly reduced, possibly placebo, thus far, nothing much else. Went in at the higher end of recommended dosing, 250mg. I like to do this when testing so I can really be sure about how it's affecting me (ie not too subtle to be unclear and possibly placebo). I'd already taken a low dose in the past to make sure I wasn't sensitive/allergic. Anyway, this is interesting; "Thus tofisopam appears to induce acutely an increase in the sensitivity of central dopaminergic receptors". I'm tempted to have a coffee, but won't Tofisopam will clearly be more useful for those with anxiety.. as that is a mild symptom for me I am not expecting myself to be blown away. Would be interested to hear other reports!

Hey man, No I actually forgot. I will give it a whirl tomorrow because I need to be on good form. Will let you know. Best,

Yeah, I'm familiar with Tolle, I was thinking about his book The Power of Now when I was writing my last post. Thanks for elucidating the article .

For your neuro's future reference, you might also want to mention that SSRI's have been shown to be ineffective in treating HPPD and sometimes aggravate the symptoms. Not just anecdotally but it is also one of the conclusions of the 'HPPD what do we know after 50 years' paper.

Ditto onedayillsailagain. Ativan (Lorazepam) is a strong benzo but it has a long half life so will linger and help for quite a while. Take caution as above, but I find it really effective in alleviating HPPD symptoms. Best wishes

Oh, never mind. Hey man, It seems you think that meditation is about concentrating on internal thoughts/states. but I disagree.. it's about letting go of them - everything, emptying the mind, transcending even the feeling of inward attention itself, towards something beyond ordinary experience (enlightenment)... ie when you are meditating you strive to be able to achieve a place where you have no thoughts, ultimately just the feeling of the bliss of an empty consciousness. One of the reasons for practicing this is so that you aren't bothered by thoughts that negate one's experience outside of a meditation. So, it actually enforces the idea of external visual attention. By practicing clearing your mind, you are able to live in the moment (not burdened by constant internal thoughts) and give your attention to the external world - live in the moment. So I don't think is suggests that and both ideas are incompatible! My thoughts anyway..!

How did you view the full thing ? Did you pay?

I'll look to see if I can acquire some Klonopin. I'm not a big fan of Xanax.. makes me feel completely crazy. That's great that after four years of benzo use you are still able to have success in alleviating your symptoms and no addiction. Are you using any other medication like Keppra or Sinemet? It's a matter of time before they discover something as you describe, I am sure. Actually onedayillsailagain recommended Tofisopam as a novel benzo similar to Lorazepam but seemingly without so many of the side effects associated with benzos. Perhaps you've heard of it. I've got some in my flat, I have yet to give it a try.. think I'll try that soon and report back. Quote from onedayillsailagain in another thread;

Hey zenith, welcome to the boards! Sorry to hear about your troubles, we can all empathise with what you're feeling! Your visual disturbances do suggest that you might have acquired some sort of (temporary) mild persisting perception disorder.. cannabis is a well known aggravator of HPPD symptoms and quite a few people here have acquired HPPD through synthetic cannabis use (or at least that's in the cocktail); I presume there are some people here who have acquired it through plain ol' cannabis use alone, not sure though..weed does have psychedelic qualities. Although generally HPPD is not really associated with cannabis use more LSD, psilocybin etc. Someone else will be able to provide more info on cannabis and HPPD. But your visuals symptoms sound very mild and nothing close to what a lot of us experience.. so that's good news! Esp. if the breathing happens only when you focus on stuff.. I think you could perhaps be inducing that or exaggerating yourself somewhat. As long as you don't have visuals like here then I wouldn't worry too much! My hunch is that if you give it a few more weeks, maybe a month or two, and stay sober, that the visual symptoms will clear up and hopefully the others too. I am not too sure about your other symptoms that will be a matter of your personal physiology! An important thing is to not worry about everything. Let it go. That will only worsen the way you feel and prolong the healing process. It's obvious, but if you really make a conscious effort to let go, things become much more manageable. Yoga and meditation help me in this respect. Of note is that people with HPPD tend to find SSRI's aggravate symptoms.. how is Fluoxetine working for you? Remember you will get better! I am sure some members with more insight will be able to provide better help. Best wishes, S

Yeah I generally take 1 a week.. ones with long half lifes (Lorazepam has been the most effective for me from what I've tried).. the effect, as you know, helps for quite a few days. They are indeed a miraculous thing. Not sure if you've read this account of mine elsewhere here.. but a few months ago when I was having a particularly awful evening, couldn't sleep, head pounding, full blown strobey visuals.. I had also been having a bad week.. I couldn't get my head around doing anything.. my flat had crap allover the place, unwashed dishes etc everywhere.. really grim.. I just really couldn't hack shit that week.. At the apex, this bad night.. I took 4mg Lorazepam, at the time with no tolerance.. when it set in, my visuals went entirely. And despite being a bit too relaxed for day-to-day life (I suppose there was a recreational aspect to it too), my cognitive abilities suddenly came back to me.. I cleaned the place up real quick and got on with some stuff I'd been meaning to do for a while. Serious magic bullet! For obvious reasons I don't take that kind of dose regularly and now with a bit of tolerance it doesn't entirely remove the visuals.. but still, that it did have the ability to remove my intense visuals entirely is just incredible. Man, I miss that clarity! Imagine closing your eyes and just seeing black, nothing else.. that would be the life! Do you just use Klonopin or other benzos? Would be good to hear your experience of different benzos and what symptoms they alleviate best.

Mmm. I have an arsenal of benzos, but I was doing a 2-3 week control before I go on meds later today. Not that I wasn't allowed but to make the control as realistic as possible. I haven't tried Klonopin, I might look into it.

(the point of me reciting this rather uninteresting story comes at the end.. ) I've been back at my family home the last few days, my sister's birthday today so they wanted me to be around. I made myself available. Normally I live on my own. I find it easier to cope like that - suffer in peace, not having to explain myself. Last few weeks, particularly the last few days, have been pretty bad, not sleeping well, very foggy etc. Today they were preparing for my sister's friends to come over and drink before they went out. I hardly slept last night and woke up feeling unusually horrendous, completely brain-dead. Couldn't get my mind round a thing. I'd blocked my ma's car in, was asked to move it, but still in PJ's like a zombie.. last thing I wanted to do was set foot outside. I emphasised that I really did not want to do that, so got angrily huffed at and my ma did it and left. Later, asked to hoover, for the life of me (and this is really particularly bad for me-normally I can get my head around even this!), seriously my head did not want to do anything other than.. well, nothing (and by this, of course, I mean I had every desire in the world to do a multitude of things but no feeling of ability or comprehension). Anyway I did not hoover, and was huffed at again. Okay, not doing these little things is pathetic. It must look particularly pathetic. I do not normally feel that shit, today I did. I said that to my family without being specific about HPPD but implied it. Still the attitude towards me, just like I was being f-ing lazy. My favourite bits... Before my sister ended up doing the hoovering, she came into my room and told me I should do the hoovering because she had to get ready to go out (what kind of reason is that anyway?). 20 mins later (the amount of time it would have taken), she's been sitting in the other room having a chat the whole time. I apologised to my mum later for not being so helpful today, explaining I was having a really bad day. I was met with the sort of 'we all have bad days, we still do stuff' sort of thing. Oh, great. From someone who supposedly empathised with the situation. Tell you what, if someone 'normal' wants to trade all their 'bad days' for my 'good days', I'd snap that up in an instant! Oh, and best bit, why I am actually taking time to write this. My sis et al went out clubbing, I stayed at home for obvious reasons. I actually managed to fall asleep when I wanted... yay!!!!! First time in a week ? But er, oh, what, phone's ringing ? 'Oh hey yeah can you just quickly let us in'? 'Cheers... good night...' And yes, that good sleep is dearly missed now as I toss and turn, I see the smoke swirl around me in this dark room - quite literally. And no doubt this 'quick waking up' will guarantee some worse days ahead. Terribly sorry for not giving you 15-20mins of my time today, but, well, you got a lot of time off me now! Hours, days, weeks?! Enough adolescent-sounding whine. The point (that we all know); how utterly disparate our lives are. With the fragility / sensitivity of our minds.. the flimsiness of some things to others can be a huge deal for us. Peoples' attitudes.. most people have no clue even if they claim to empathise with you! Oh Muse, Muse! I realise I sound pretty morbid.. I am still smiling. I start medication tomorrow so particularly smiling. Wishing you well.

I don't really have anything to add. Just wanted to say thanks for sharing your experience, I'm with you as you are with all of us. Good health to you! Best, S

http://davidrainoshek.com/2013/06/how-facebook-fb-is-altering-your-mind-2/

You just need to find someone who is willing to persist with no illusions about you otherwise the relationship will likely be disorderly.. that's just my perception anyway

PS: I know HPPD is not a 'mood disorder', but this might be of use due to the effect of LSD on Glutamine.

Not sure if anyone has come across this. I am working through it slowly.. my knowledge is modest so taking me a while to debunk the jargon. Nonetheless, seems highly relevant and I wonder if those with more knowledge might find some new ideas to research. Excerpts: Particularly take a look at the last bit 'Emerging promise of novel therapeutics' http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2715836/#!po=8.53659

I can't add another question unfortunately. But would be good if you took the poll anyway just to see if anyone else has had negative effects with the substance. Just specify in a post that it affected you mildly. Added Taurine and DLPA.