I’m afraid I might have HPPD but this could also be my Panic Disorder and anxiety

[Sparkierflame24]

I’m scared I might have it

Hey, I’m afraid I might have hppd because the last few days stuff I’ve been staring at looks like it’s been breathing, I haven’t touched ANY drugs since I tried shrooms once last year and had a very very bad trip, it should be important to note that I have anxiety right now because of medication that I was taking that caused anxiety attacks as a side effect which I also stopped taking after the first attack. 

I also want to add a few more details so I can get a better idea if I do have it or if I’m just stressing out.

I took 1.5 grams of Penis Envy (which my friend told me it’s essentially double dosed so it’d be closer to 3?) which the trip lasted 8 hours and it was very bad, it made me really aggressive and paranoid during the whole thing, keep in mind this was my one and ONLY time using psychedelics.
I barely smoked any weed before that and haven’t touched any drugs at all since as mentioned above.

I was taking doxycycline mono 100mg for my acne and about a week or two ago it caused a panic attack so I’ve been dealing with anxiety since and I also stopped using it after that happened.

I have visual snow but that’s definitely because of how much time I spend on screens.

I did have depersonalization after my trip but I don’t anymore, at least not as bad as I used to.

I don’t see flashes of light or color, double vision, any geometric hallucinations, I just see stuff moving like it’s breathing in my peripheral and floaters but that’s normal for me, I don’t experience any auditory hallucinations either, I’m just worried about the breathing part lol.

It only happens if I stare at stuff for a bit, I’ve heard it’s normal but I’m paranoid so who knows.

I spend A LOT of time on screens and barely used to sleep but I don’t feel exhausted so this could just be visual hallucinations because of those but I’m working on that now.

I’ve also noticed a loss in appetite too.

This all could just be my anxiety and how it’s looking for something to stress me out but I just have to make sure because ever since I took those shrooms it’s been my biggest regret in life.

Also sorry if I keep updating this, this is a new thing for me and my anxiety is really not helping, I’m getting a psychiatrist and a therapist pretty soon so I hope they’ll help me with this.

If there are any questions about anything else please ask me, I’m really scared I have this condition and I just want an answer from people that know about it.
 

I’ve had someone tell me maybe I do or maybe I don’t but either way it sounds pretty mild and I should just stay sober and take it easy which I will.

UPDATE: I was just diagnosed with Panic disorder (episodic paroxysmal anxiety) and found out that it’s more likely that it’s caused by that and not HPPD but still if any info or opinion would be appreciated.

Another update: I took melatonin only last night to help me sleep because I have been struggling (it said for the serving size it’s 10mg but that’s for 2 gummies and I only take one so it’d be more like 5mg) and maybe I’m just paranoid, maybe it’s because I finally got good sleep, or maybe it is what I think it is and I woke up and colors looked a bit more vibrant, it’s probably because I’m just hyper vigilant due to anxiety but I don’t know I’ve heard melatonin isn’t exactly bad for hppd but don’t get me wrong I’m not using melatonin to treat it either, I just took it one time to see if I’d sleep or not, don’t plan on it again.

UPDATE (7/18/2023): So I’ve been seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist for a while and turns out I don’t in fact have panic disorder I actually have Generalized anxiety disorder, I always questioned it because out of all the times I’ve had panic attacks, only one happened out of nowhere. I’ve been panic attack free since the 27th of June and that was because I was looking up symptoms and scared myself. I’m still unsure of whether or not this is hppd as more symptoms showed up and I’ve still been drug free, so this could be anxiety as I’ve never heard of someone with HPPD getting more symptoms on top of their old ones.

 

Edited July 18, 2023 by Sparkierflame24
Update

[cosmiccharlie]

It's hard to say but with a panic disorder perhaps it's best to stay clear of psychedelics.  My advice would be to live the most healthy life you can and find a sustainable way to function well with your condition.  I think this is a good idea whether you have HPPD or not.  Try not to worry and take a break from screens! 

[Sparkierflame24]

On 5/21/2023 at 8:47 AM, cosmiccharlie said:

It's hard to say but with a panic disorder perhaps it's best to stay clear of psychedelics.  My advice would be to live the most healthy life you can and find a sustainable way to function well with your condition.  I think this is a good idea whether you have HPPD or not.  Try not to worry and take a break from screens! 

Yeah I’m definitely taking it easy now, again I have not touched any kind of drug since July of last year except for the doxycycline which was prescribed to me by my dermatologist, do you think this will go away after I’ve treated my anxiety and overcome my panic disorder? Another person I’ve spoken too said there’s a good chance it will, that’s if I do in fact have hppd that is.

Edited June 28, 2023 by Sparkierflame24
Update

[Jay1]

I call that stage "pre-hppd", when you can sort of force visuals on by staring at something for a while, but you don't notice the visuals otherwise. It's, imho, the first warning signs from your brain to stop taking drugs.

I'd say all the usual rules apply... stay sober, eat well, exercise and try to de-stress in whatever ways work best for you. 

[cosmiccharlie]

17 hours ago, Sparkierflame24 said:

Yeah I’m definitely taking it easy now, again I have not touched any kind of drug since September of last year except for the doxycycline which was prescribed to me by my dermatologist, do you think this will go away after I’ve treated my anxiety and overcome my panic disorder? Another person I’ve spoken too said there’s a good chance it will, that’s if I do in fact have hppd that is.

Everyone is different but given the conditions you have described yes I do think recovery is likely!  It looks different for everyone.  The best advice I can give is to find a healthy way to manage your anxiety.  Meditation and exercise are two powerful tools that are still very important in my life.