My story

[Joseph06__]

I'm Joseph, 16, and I have been struggling with hppd. I would like to talk about my experience and my questions. In November last year I made the worst decision of my life and mixed cocaine, mushrooms and LSD. The visual trip was very very mild only small distortions some of my hppd can be much worse but I because extremely nauseous and had a very bad mental trip. For the following 2-3 weeks I could hear, see and sense this around 7ft tall completely blacked out figure. After that went away the hppd started. From November till February 1st I continued to abuse drugs (LSD, weed, mdma, ketamine, cocaine) I stopped February 1st as in class my hppd got so bad I felt ill and everything was flashing so bright it hurt my eyes. After I've quit I've had 2 small seizures because of hppd. I can no longer tell the difference between dreams and reality. But I've learned that if I get myself into the right mental state I can enjoy the hppd which can be difficult as it seems to feed of anxiety and sadness.

[Joseph06__]

My questions are is the dream-reality confusion part of hppd or is it a separate illness called oneirophrenia? And how many years would I have to wait to try and substance again such as weed or mushrooms without it affecting me negatively 

[Jay1]

the dream like feeling is known as derealisation and is part of a collective of disorders that are associated with HPPD. 

As for your last question, no one knows... not a single person. If you want to really get better, just forget about drugs. 

[Beefol]

Hey @Joseph06__,

 

there is a good chance for you getting better if you stop all drugs immediately and for the rest of your life. Even Cannabis, Alcohol, Nicotine and maybe coffeine for a while. 
 

Try to eat healthy, do sports  and distract yourself as much as you can. Try not to google that much. Anxiety is a big part of hppd and it can create symptoms that are comparable to hppd.

Youll have a hard time now, but many people get much better after some time. Some ppl are totally healed after months or few years. 
 

And even if youre better. Never touch drugs or alcohol again. Sounds hard in the first place, but hppd can come back so much worse. 
 

stay strong

[cosmiccharlie]

Hi Joseph, 

     I am sorry to hear about how difficult your situation has been.  The good news is that your are very young and the mind is an amazing machine that can adapt to extraordinary circumstances.  Try to remain calm and give your mind time to heal.  This will take some time, usually a few months before you start to notice significant improvement.  This is assuming you are not continuing to take drugs.  Will you be able to smoke weed and use mushrooms in a non-harmful way in the future?  Maybe but try not to focus on that.  Today, if you want to get better you should try and stay sober.  Weed and hallucinogens will affect your ability to recover.  I spent at least a year continuing to smoke weed everyday and trip consistently after contracting the disorder and 13 years later I am still affected by it.  This is not to scare you but the reality of the situation.  You can recover but it will take some work on your part.  Today, I am leading a wonderfully happy life beyond my wildest dreams.  I have a healthy marriage, two children and will graduate with a PhD in mathematics next year.  It has been a tough road but coming out on the other side is beautiful.  Here are some suggestions that helped me:

• Stop all drugs, even alcohol for a while.
• Take it one day at a time, try not to think about the past or future just be here now. 
• Keep yourself busy with healthy, productive things; hobbies, work, etc...
• Exercise even if it makes your symptoms worse
• Do the best you can to not focus on HPPD; minimize time spent online looking into it and time thinking about it (this tends to generate anxiety which is not helpful for us) 
• Try learning to meditate, even if it's just for a minute or two.  We all have the ability to go inward for strength and healing.  For example, you can spend 30 seconds or a minute sitting and noticing your breath and thinking the following: 

1. when I breath in I notice I am breathing in
2.  when I breath out I notice that I am breathing out and I smile because I am alive. 

It's that simple!

• Try and get as much sleep as you can.  
• If you're open to it, pray to God in whatever way you think is appropriate.  You don't even have to believe in anything, just ask for help.  

Some days will be better than others but if given time, you will adapt and have a chance to live the life you want to live.  When you recover, you will be filled with an immense sense of gratitude and this period of your life will provide a fertile ground for much growth in the future.  This is what I have experienced, eventually the affliction becomes an asset and you'll get to help somebody else down the road.   Send me a DM if you'd like to chat on WhatsApp.  

 

Take Care,

Nick