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Im lost, my symptoms keep worsening. Any advice helps!!


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Hey everyone, 

I've had hppd for like 5 years now. Weird thing is I didn't notice the hppd until a few months after I stopped psychedelics and my after images came around 2 years after I initially got hppd. I have all the normal symptoms that are: visual snow, halos, light sensitivity, after images and tracers. The only thing that bothers me is the afterimages and tracers. I dont know why but they still seem to be getting worse even after 3 years of having them. It is really starting to stress me out and scare me. There are times for a few months where I feel fine and dont worry about it, until it gets worse again. Im to the point where Im scared for the future to come. Im only 22 and I want to have a happy and successful career as I just graduated college. Although, this is scaring me that I will become completely debilitated from the tracers as time comes. 

I have tried multiple things such as NAC, magnesium, black Seed oil, clonazepam, ashwaganda and a few others I cant think of atm. If anyone has any recommendations on how to help afterimages or could tell me why the still may be getting worse it would be much appreciated.

I also dont smoke, only drink alcohol. I have quit drinking for a few months and still noticed it gets worse. 

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Thank you for describing what you're going through.  I stopped dosing around the time I turned 20.  I had symptoms earlier, but assumed they would clear up once I cleaned up.  Well, they didn't and continued to get worse for a number of years before leveling off.  I'm an old guy who had a career I really enjoyed, raised a family, and have had a wonderful life despite living with hppd.  There's nothing special or unique about me.  Just another human going through life.   Getting through college and starting a career can be a stressful time.  I find stress makes hppd worse.  Do you see any correlation between stress and what you're experiencing?

Live your life, go into your career, and try not to let your symptoms define you.  At first it's scary, but over time, if your symptoms persist, you'll figure out ways to manage them.  For me, the worst part was anxiety.  Initially I drank a lot to deal.  I found alcohol was making my life unmanageable and I gave it up.  With a clear head, I found ways to reduce the "too much electricity" in my brain.  The fact that you have months where you feel ok is a good sign IMHO.   I've learned to live with the visuals which is my most persistent issue.  They rarely bother me anymore, just part of who I am.

Don't panic, there are people in this forum who are living enjoyable productive lives.  Don't assume your symptoms will continue getting worse.  They may even moderate with time.  

I hope that helps, even if just a little.

Take care.

 

 

Edited by MadDoc
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Thank you so much for the reply. I take kratom as well and it helps with anxiety. Idk if thats making it worse though. It wasnt making it worse at all for a long time. I just want to be excited for my career and not be scared for the future. 

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I made it through a very stressful job with symptoms persisting, thankfully they eventually got better.  Try not to focus on your condition, dig into your job life and stay busy, you'll get better.  For me, exercise and meditation were very important and still are.  Hang in there, you'll be fine.  

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