Oui oui oui! A recently diagnosed HPPD

[YNot124]

Aye guys, a few weeks ago I read about HPPD whilest looking on information about being 'stuck in a trip'. I self diagnosed myself with HPPD, I've done lots and lots of acid.. unfortunately some of it was probably some 2ci-2ce or some bullshit and maby thats why I'm here today, or perhaps its because I was also diagnosed bipolar, and that caused it, reguardless, I can conciously bring myself back into an 'acid trip' with little effort.

I'm still not 100% sure if I have HPPD, but I'm leaning toward yes because from what I've read its a constant hallucination, but you can realize that it IS JUST YOU seeing some shit. I have also noticed that everything (Pain, tolerance to other drugs, food) has a more noticeable mental affect now.

I know this might sound wack, but as someone who THOUGHROULY enjoyed acid and had a dream that that would be my reality I think its a dream come true. The world is beautiful.. I can stare into the rain, or at a peaceful nature setting for hours, I eat only healthy food now, avoiding all soda's, fast foods, and generally unhealthy snacks. I work out everyday. I realized what is important in my life and my grades are improving. I train everyday toward becoming an Amateur Aggressive Inline Skater. I can get mentally 'drunk' off a single drink, or a mere sip of wine (though physically it hasn't affected my tolerance.. I can still down 20+ beers.. it just does A HELLA LOT MORE MENTALLY than it did before.) I quit smoking ciggaretts and doing all other drugs (Except on rare occassions, and of course in GOOD moderation). All and all my life has improved.

This has all been over the last 4 months or so (Except the drug use.. that goes back a few years), I only found out about HPPD a mere 2 weeks ago. So, I look at it like something you can't change, go with it, and use it to your advantage. Your a modified human being now, see things for what they really are (Not the Audio or visual hallucinations.. of course.. but the intensified feelings). Don't let it hold you back, let it push you forward.

I didn't join this board because I want to rant, I wanted to talk to other individuals to see if I actually do indeed have HPPD, and if so, that I can help those who aren't so progressive with it to open their minds and live better lives.

Thanks! Good to meet you guys!

Tony, 17, FL USA

[Jay1]

Welcome Tony, you have a good, positive outlook.

I'd be wary about doing more drugs though, even in moderation. This illness has the potential to get much worse.... Imagine going from a good or mild trip, for life... to a bad trip, for life. That is the russian roulette you are playing when taking more drugs with this condition (I speak from expereince).

Other than that though, you are doing everything right and have a great outlook on this. 4 months is still early days, so there is every chance of a full recovery.

[YNot124]

Thank you! being positive and self improvement is always great thing; especially when it means a mild happy trip as opposed to a bad one.

I was wondering about that, if it could increase intensity with more use; It seems obvious but I wasn't sure. I think this is the one thing I'll take someones word on and not find out for myself. I really appreciate it!

[Jay1]

That is good news mate....

I was similar to where you are now.... I had hppd, but I kind of enjoyed it and did more mdma and smoked alot of weed..... The I had an awful, nightmarish time for 4 years.... full on tripping, but not good in any way. Thankfully, I recovered a bit after those years and now have hppd, but it doesn't fell like hell anymore...

If my mistakes can stop you taking more drugs and entering that nightmare... i'd be very happy

[ferret]

Nothing is beutiful about visual snow, it makes everything look like shit

[Loky]

YNot124, this is an interesting post - that you actually like your visuals.

I sometimes find myself staring at things (such as a skyscraper) for an incredibly long time (like you do when you're on acid) - but I can never really understand why. Part of me questions whether things look different than before; why I'm staring at something in the first place and whether I actually 'like' what I'm seeing. Does this happen to anyone else?

What is true though, is that I no longer have any desire at all to take photographs. I used to always have a camera at the ready. I recently went travelling for 3 months and only took 15 photos.

[2muchmandy]

I can sympathise with this. My visual snow has spikes but on the day to day its very very mild and even I see it as looking through a broken tv. I miss seeing smooth surfaces...