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I think I have HPPD, do i?


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Hello, new here. I was looking for some advice from others here

I microdosed magic mushrooms this past summer with great results. Halfway through august i purchased a 100% pure CBD vape pen from a local shop. Went home one night and puffed it 5 times, turns out it was a fake. It was delta 8 THC. I did not know what was happening to me. Basically i had the worst panic attack of my life, i got so high, i was seeing dots on the walls, i didnt know if i was having a stroke or what, just a terrible, terrible time. It took me like 4 days to feel normal again, and i continued microdosing mushrooms.

Early September (sep 13th) rolls around. I take 60mg dose of mushrooms in the morning,have a normal day. Then going to bed that night i had an extreme random (1st time) panic attack. And from then on i have not felt the same. It was worse at first when i did not know what was really happening to me, i was anxious 24/7, on the verge of panic attacks, I felt very detached from reality, and like i was in a dream. Very deep into my thoughts, almost more in my head than in reality. No visual snow (only in dark wthout contacts), sometimes floaters, no visuals. Only brighter covers during panic attacks

Now a month later it has improved somewhat after hopping on an SSRI 12 days ago. Have not touched one form of any drug or alcohol and still will not.

however i still get these random out of nowhere episodes, where if i had to describe them, its EXACTLY like that night i had that fake CBD pen. I get an adrenaline rush into my head, heart races, I feel like im in a video game, detached from myself, and just so so so scared. The thing is, during these episodes im well aware that somethings wrong, that i dont feel right. So its not like im hallucinating or going into a psychosis,(only auditory hallucinations when going to sleep sometimes)  i just get deep into my head worried about myself, extreme anxiety because I'm thinking "wtf did i do to myself" .  Like my perception is completely off about reality, my baseline perception is focused inward or something. 

However in general, i do feel less anxious,and a bit better than i did 4 weeks ago. Hell even 2 weeks ago. Even this last sunday in walmart having the episode or flashback, i still was aware i felt off, i told my GF we still shopped, i drove to another store anxious out of my mind, shopped, drove home, took some ashwagandha and was able to sort of relax for the night.

The thing is, today i did an online video call with a random psychiatrist. Basically in 45 minutes this dude prescribes me "abilify" and pretty much says i have drug induced HPPD. and if i dont take it, that my brain might not heal and ill get full blown schizophrenia. Im sorry but i just dont agree with this. Even on the PDF he sent it states "abilify for delusions and psychosis" I DONT HAVE THESE. If anything i am thinking i have flashbacks and DPDR.

I know noone here is a doctor and cant diagnose me but im looking for some honest advice.

Being that i still well aware of reality during these episodes of panic/flashback/dpdr, and i do feel im improving slowly, i just find it completely unnecessary to jump on an anti-psychotics med. I feel like i can recover on my own just by not drinking, smoking, doing drugs, taking the correct supplements, vitamins, and trying to stop fearing these episodes.

Thanks

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Nah, doesn't sound like HPPD at all. Maybe drug induced panic attacks with some DPDR. 

Not sure SSRIs are a wise move though. As these are sporadic episodes, i would just ask for a fast acting anti anxiety med like Xanax for when they occur (just be very sensible with them).

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