Introducing myself

[neve]

Hi Everyone! It's very rare for me to use online forums however due to this disorder being so rare I thought it'd be the best way to meet new people who have experienced similar things.

My name is Neve, I am 18 years old and currently a University student in England. I've never been that adventurous with drugs and up until university I had only ever touched weed, even then it only being a round 5 times (first time being 15 years old). 

When I started university, naturally, I became more exposed to drugs and tried LSD for the first time and again a week later. Both trips I really enjoyed and got the typical experience (enhanced colours, sensations, patterns and sound etc..) It wasn't until I experienced 'flashbacks' on a random Tuesday night. My flatmates were smoking weed however I didn't due to feeling ill. I'm not sure if it was me being ill or the secondary smoke or the combination however I began to experience the same visuals and sensations as I did on my second trip (which was a lot more intense). I was convinced I had accidentally took acid or something.. 

One of the main things I noticed was colours changing/morphing into new ones, floral patterns and materials looking like they had layers; almost as if things were floating and breathing. At first I thought it was quite cool and I viewed it merely as a pleasant visual that would last a few hours. It has been almost 3 months since that experience and nothing has changed.

It would be interesting to see how having HPPD has affected peoples lives. I try and just go with it, however, recently I have been struggling with it. I have never suffered with mental health issues (not that intense anyway) yet since starting university, my anxiety has been at its peak. Whenever I feel stressed or tired, my visuals enhance thus increasing my anxiety often resulting in panic attacks. After lots of research reading articles, watching documentaries etc, it seems incurable and something that I may just have to live with. Again, it would be really nice to meet people and learn about each others experience with Hallucinogenics. 

Edited March 17, 2021 by neve

[cosmiccharlie]

Hello, 

I'm sorry to hear how much you're struggling.  I myself contracted HPPD from excessive LSD and mushroom use.  You're still very early in your recovery, I know it might not seem like it but your best friend will be time.  Also, you very young with a short history of drug use so I would say your chances of full recovery are pretty high.  I tell everyone the same thing:

• Stop all drugs (even alcohol for a but if you can) 
• Get as much sleep as you can 
• Exercise regularly even if it makes your symptoms worse
• Eat well 
• Stay busy with work/ school/ hobby etc
• Try not to worry 

For me, the above recipe over time helped me settle into normal life (in fact multiple times) and my symptoms over time are much much better.  Right now I am a mathematics PhD student with a family, I also served in the US Navy as a submarine office.  As a kid I took excessively large amounts of acid and various other drugs and was able to recover.; my largest dose of LSD was about 15 hits.  Now this is behind me and I can move ahead without regretting the past. 

You'll see as you get older that the mind is an incredibly resillient machine and will adapt to whatever conditions it is placed in.  You made a mistake but that's okay you'll learn from it and you're already ahead of me; I kept dosing even when the symptoms emerged because I didn't care.  Life is precious and when you emerge on the other side of this hurdle you will truly appreciate it.  Just take it a day at a time and believe that you can recover.  

I wish you the best and please keep reaching out for support, it really helped me in the beginning.  

Take Care,

Nick