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PTSD with HPPD


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I have both and it makes life kind of crazy. If my sxs of ptsd are acting up it worsens the visuals and visa versa. My HPPD started like 30 yrs after taking a lot of very strong LSD in the late 60s and early 70s. It's very rare for this to happen. Ptsd is partially what brought this on so late. I haven't seen much talk on here about it, but I think it's somewhat related in the damage to the brain dept.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Making life crazy - i have gotten use too. Making me crazy is what I am worried about...

I got PTSD during childhood.... I was later deployed to 2 wars were it was idenfied, via me not remembering dramatic events. I developed HPPD during my teen years. Primarily due to an accidental overdose. It took a couple years or so after the overdose before I started to not notice the visuals. I am in my mid thirties now and tripping harder then I ever have in my life (no drugs involved). It's a 24hr / 7 day a week thing that seems to be getting progressively worse. The lighter end of it; the visual examples used on this website show it perfectly. On the more intense times it is a full on hallucinative state where the visuals become strong in color, have no relation to reality and are no longer transparent. As you can imagine, mentally; this is like being on a rollercoaster that never stops.

One thing I have learned during my survival is that HPPD (as I have learned to call it), is also a direct connection to your subconscious... Just like the drugs that cause it; there are parts of it that you can not control and there are parts of you that gains greater control. It is kind of like living under your own hipnosis. Controlling your state of mind is the key. - I only say this becouse I have read story after story from people who I wouldn't classify as serious users but seem to have serious life problems resulting from it. My life story is a typical rags to riches. I grew up homeless and left without a family (on the streets) at a very young age. Now, let just say life is very good. Well, the parts I am around for anyways....lol

{People don't see what you see and they only think you're crazy if you tell them.}

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That's the jist of it. It kind of came back all at once starting with a major 9 - 10hr episode. Since then its like someone changed the flim (as I have been called it). There are lots of triggers. I can even trigger at will. Have you seen this video yet - http://hppdonline.com/index.php?/gallery/image/8-demonstrationg-image/

For some reason, one glance at that and I see that pattern across my entire vision. If that is anywhere in my sight; it happens and it doesn't fade away. I can see through it but it is difficult and actually required focus. What drives me crazy is how fast it moves. I am yet to believe it is not a video. I have tried everything to see that "image" normally. Not only is it impossible but it is, surprisingly, a VERY powerful trigger. It has the same effect everytime I look at it and I can't even seem to weaken it. Leaving that on for 10 minutes will liturally leave me insane. A blank stare with drool coming out of my mouth. Kind of like an epileptic in front of a strobe light. - Of course that is not typical. It's just that picture really tiggers something. I think one of the docs put that on there as I mean trick....

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  • 1 month later...

Hi Makeitstop, I'm glad you found this sight. It's helped me a lot. The Ptsd for me was diagnosed about the same time as HPPD when I was 56. My childhood was the main source and then I used drugs to cover it up. If you have been deployed I can't imagine what you've seen. I always thought what was going on with me couldn't be PTSD until I learned more about it. My whole life had trauma sort of ongoing and then my 14 yo daughter was killed in a horrible car accident and then my Mom and Dad died shortly after. I don't want to get into a sob story. I had serious med problems and after being in ICU a few years ago I came home and my vision was like I was seeing hieroglyphics on the walls and I felt like I was in imminent danger most of the time. No doc could figure it out.

I really lost it about a year later and a very smart Psychiatrist diagnosed Hppd, which in very rare cases can be dormant in past LSD users. I used a lot back in the late 60's also many other psychidelics. Sorry I'm going on and on, but I still have a scattered brain. I had always had a few trails and patterns, but now it was horrible and constant.

Good news is once I knew others had this ( and we're all such cool people haha) I started calming down and now I'm enjoying life keeping it real simple. I probably stay home too much, because I'm most comfortable here. I get out as much as I can though, because it's super lonely and I invite anyone who is on here to talk.

And yeah those pictures freak me out, too! Good luck.

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I think alice-acid is on the right track. I think hppd is a form of ptsd... I have never been to a doctor but I know I have both along with dp/dr anxiety and depression. Ptsd makes Hppd so much worse... I get nervous about putting things in my body now because of hppd. for example if I think I ate too much sugar and it could harm me my Hppd gets terrible.

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I think alice-acid is on the right track. I think hppd is a form of ptsd... I have never been to a doctor but I know I have both along with dp/dr anxiety and depression. Ptsd makes Hppd so much worse... I get nervous about putting things in my body now because of hppd. for example if I think I ate too much sugar and it could harm me my Hppd gets terrible.

OMG i have this aswell!! it took me an hour today to psych myself up to eat a zinc sumpliment!

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i honestly think we are simply unlucky people who are more prone to ptsd etc

dr abraham himself said that he has never seen a patient get HPPD from any drug other than LSD that didnt have pre-existing signs or diagnosis of disorders linked to that kind of disorder.

i assume this also means lsd can actually cause issues like this as well but thats a different story

all very important to the reason behind our suffering though

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i honestly think we are simply unlucky people who are more prone to ptsd etc

dr abraham himself said that he has never seen a patient get HPPD from any drug other than LSD that didnt have pre-existing signs or diagnosis of disorders linked to that kind of disorder.

I never took LSD and never had signs of any disorders. My life was actually going pretty well for the most part and now it sucks.

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  • 1 year later...

Alisa, I have the same symptoms as you. Its virtually impossible to function in life do u see tracers off ur t.v. In dim lighting and stretched light from the t.v. or car lights, street lights?? I haven't heard that or read it on this site yet, I read a lot of this visual snow dam I would exchange or trade anyone any day with what I have. Trust.. What about tinnitus??

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Hello hppd24years,


 


This is a very old post, Alisa's comment seems to have been written a year and a half ago.


All of the symptoms that you said you have not seen mentioned have been mentioned a lot in old posts.


You are definitely not alone.


 


Here are a list of most of my symptoms (i say most as i am bound to forget one or two):


 


afterimages


trails


walls and floors moving and warping


intense visual snow


light fracture or 'starbursting'


double vision


shaking / vibrating vision (only when i am tired)


eye cell 'floaters'


strange changes of both contrast and hue


peripheral movement


flickers of blue or white


patterns on smooth surfaces


very subtle but odd changes of depth perception


 


I do not get tinnitus though.


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  • 3 weeks later...
  • 4 weeks later...

I think alice-acid is on the right track. I think hppd is a form of ptsd... I have never been to a doctor but I know I have both along with dp/dr anxiety and depression. Ptsd makes Hppd so much worse... I get nervous about putting things in my body now because of hppd. for example if I think I ate too much sugar and it could harm me my Hppd gets terrible.

 

The way I tihnk of it, having HPPD is traumatic, and causes the PTSD.  I have found a lot of help in PTSD treatments, including EMDR.

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  • 3 weeks later...

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