EGO DEATH AGONY...

[Schizo699]

Tried psychedelic exactly 3 years ago. Died right after. Lost all my thoughts, for a year I could not speak. Since then I am fully unconsciouss. I don't know where I am, who I am, I don not exist. Don't have subjective reality. This is Agony. Have been 4 times in psychiatric hospital and 4 times in jail. Also, all 3 years I have been homeless... This is the most bizarre experience that you can ever imagine. I don't have beliefs, personality, past memories, I am left with my body, there is no one inside anymore.

I tried 6 meds so far, maybe in next few months doctor will give me Keppra, this will be the last shot. After that I will be 99% sure I will be like this forever...

Before ego death I was already a vegetable, I had the most severe, life long mental disorder, I have been living in a limbo. I could not accept it so I decidec for the last resort which was psychedelics...

That's all I wanted to post

[Jay1]

Sorry to hear this, sounds very scary. Do you have any visuals disorders, or is this dpdr?

What meds have you been put on?

[Schizo699]

DP/DR

Wenlafaxine, Sertraline, Mirtazapine, Citalopram, Olanzapine, Quetiapine, 

Tried Lamotrigine once (got heart pains and stopped)

[Jimmy]

What disorder do u have before ego death?

[Fawkinchit]

Damn bro, sorry about your condition. I think what you have just described might actually be the most extent symptoms I have come across. You have my deepest sympathies, I wish humans were more understanding, but they are not. I hope you stick around and post here more. We're all trying to find a better solution to all this.

[jh875]

He hasn't visited this forum in many years.

[AF44]

On 3/6/2019 at 3:39 AM, Schizo699 said:

Tried psychedelic exactly 3 years ago. Died right after. Lost all my thoughts, for a year I could not speak. Since then I am fully unconsciouss. I don't know where I am, who I am, I don not exist. Don't have subjective reality. This is Agony. Have been 4 times in psychiatric hospital and 4 times in jail. Also, all 3 years I have been homeless... This is the most bizarre experience that you can ever imagine. I don't have beliefs, personality, past memories, I am left with my body, there is no one inside anymore.

I tried 6 meds so far, maybe in next few months doctor will give me Keppra, this will be the last shot. After that I will be 99% sure I will be like this forever...

Before ego death I was already a vegetable, I had the most severe, life long mental disorder, I have been living in a limbo. I could not accept it so I decidec for the last resort which was psychedelics...

That's all I wanted to 

[AF44]

Just now, AF44 said:

On 3/6/2019 at 3:39 AM, Schizo699 said:

Tried psychedelic exactly 3 years ago. Died right after. Lost all my thoughts, for a year I could not speak. Since then I am fully unconsciouss. I don't know where I am, who I am, I don not exist. Don't have subjective reality. This is Agony. Have been 4 times in psychiatric hospital and 4 times in jail. Also, all 3 years I have been homeless... This is the most bizarre experience that you can ever imagine. I don't have beliefs, personality, past memories, I am left with my body, there is no one inside anymore.

I tried 6 meds so far, maybe in next few months doctor will give me Keppra, this will be the last shot. After that I will be 99% sure I will be like this forever...

Before ego death I was already a vegetable, I had the most severe, life long mental disorder, I have been living in a limbo. I could not accept it so I decidec for the last resort which was psychedelics...

That's all I wanted to 

Expand  

Hello, I’m really sorry to hear about your terrible symptoms. There is something called Cotard Delusion. I thought of it when I was reading your post and looked it up. I can’t figure out how to send the article or whatever, but it’s healthline