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Need help bad, appointments keep getting cancelled


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I feel like I'm all alone with nobody to help me since I can't even vent about this shit to my parents and expect them to understand what's going on with me and they are not supportive at all. I think my only chance is having somebody else with HPPD talk to them. Any volunteers ? My appointments keep getting cancelled so chances of me seeing a doctor are slim which means chances of getting meds are slim and I'm still holding on to that Keppra study which I should probably get a copy on paper since I lost it a bunch of times. One of my friends noticed how fucked up I was today and said that I was quiet all day. I couldn't even keep a conversation going with anyone today cuz I feel so depersonalized after taking diphenhydramine again yesterday. I am so close to killing myself but I keep fighting it. I would remind myself how hurt my parents would be if I kill myself but now I'm thinking they deserve it since they are so unsupportive

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Is there a counsellor at your school that cannot disclose what you discuss with teachers etc? That might be a good option... If not, surely there are drug/mental illness dropins/ helplines in the states?

 

Try not to go too hard on your parents... Have you even fully explained the situation (eg, feeling suicidal, still taking drugs etc).... Unless they know everything, they cannot fully support you... and mental disorders are difficult for people to understand and empathise with.... They do not "deserve" to see their child kill themselves, that is for sure.

 

If I were you, I would sit your mum down and have a full discussion about it all and be completely honest... Stay calm, don't get angry or upset, even if she does. Just emphasise that, right now, you need support, help and love... Say you understand that she might be angry about the drug use, but that anger needs to be put to one side while you deal with the mental disorder.

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jo thats a pretty nice advice from jay... but be careful some parents just cant deal with it...they could put you in some kind of mental institution if you tell them you're suicidal..even though they dont understand that misunderstanding you is the main reason why you cant deal with your condition and you're so fucked up...

 

they really need to listen and to understand what youre talking about..so it would be nice if you look up the web for some scientific site where they can read everything about hppd as evidence..

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Yea, trip is right.... Only you will know just how much info your mum can handle, at this point (though if you really do get to breaking point and are serious about suicide, then tell her, no matter what the reaction)..... But if you can stay calm while you explain hppd/dp/dr, it will help her to understand.

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