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Was That really a Good Idea ?


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I smoked weed earlier today. I was high when I wrote that last post about smoking weed. Anyway, the effects of the weed wore off a while ago but now my dp/dr seems to have gotten worse. Wasn't expecting this from half of a gram of weed. Been just sitting in my living room sitting still just thinking about absolutely nothing. The typical feeling of detachment is stronger than ever. This is so hard to explain. I am just confused. I feel zero emotion currently and am just sitting on my couch just typing away but it feels like it's not me typing. Just watching my fingers do all of it. Everything I do is not me doing it but it's like somebody else is inside my head doing everything while I'm not in control. I don't know if this is severe dp/dr or something else. I am suspecting that there might have been something else mixed with that weed I smoked earlier. This is so weird. This all feels like a dream. Going back and thinking about the shit that happened yesterday and the passed year of HPPD is just making it all worse.

I am going to be getting ecstasy tomorrow but I don't plan on taking it for a while but hopefully I can stop "myself" from doing it. Hopefully the real me will be in control and decide not to take the ecstasy. I don't know what to do. I am not in control of myself anymore and I might have to learn to accept it.

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thats what weed does if u smoke a lot. It temporarily increases dopamine, and then dopamine gets lowered below baseline afterwards. thats why stoners are stereotypically unfocused. Low dopamine = lower focus = brain fog. 

 

 

I only smoke like a couple hits when i smoke. not .5. 

 

For me, just a couple hits helps. Increased focus and clarity etc... But when u smoke alot it causes Depersonalization even for normal people. 

 

 

Ur in control of urself. tell urself u got it. no but's

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Ecstasy made my hppd exponentially worse. From something that was an annoyance to something that was hell on earth.

 

Fucking about with a bit of weed or alcohol is understandable, but PLEASE learn from the mistakes of myself and others here. MDMA can take you to a very dark place

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man you can control yourself since you have your own will...and be careful with to much weed i can still only smoke small amounts but i enjoy them and do it every once in a while..anyway..i cant smoke more than that like 0,5g otherwise im getting anxious or panic attacks which i can controll better now everyday..its like a level up for my self control..i can also drink 1-3 beers or take opium again..but tobacco makes me dizzy and causes anxiety...i didnt like mdma the last time i tryed it but the last time while i did it i had hppd and it wasnt enjoyable..dont know what happens now when i take mdma but if i'll try it again some day i would only take a micro dose and if you cant stop yourself from trying it i'd recommend the same...just be careful man and dont destroy your life..

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