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Do I have hppd?


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Hey guys, I'm 17 and I've been doing mdma since I was almost 16.. This year in April I tried shrooms for the first time and a couple hours in took 50-100mg of ex (I didn't feel anything cuz I had rolled the day before) and I accidentally (yes, I know it sounds dumb) took a huge dab and was insanely uncomfortably high.. After this for a few days I felt weird but I didn't notice anything particularly abnormal, smoked weed the next morning and nothing happened but a normal high. I then started experiencing some strange reactions to light, possibly (based on example videos I don't think so) have very mild visual snow, I get floaters sometimes, and when I look at the sky there's weird textures that look like they're on my eyelashes (as if my eyelashes were wet or I just woke up)... Nothing too bothersome, but I wanna roll in 2 weeks and I'm starting to second guess IT.. Thoughts on whether I should or if you think I have hppd? I have suffered from fairly bad anxiety my whole life. (The dark doesn't make the "snow" any worse and it kinda seems like I'm just hyper focused on the little dots I used to always focus on for fun as a kid in my vision.. Please help! Sorry for the long post

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Also I don't notice anything weird in my vision I just notice that it seems weird! Does that make sense? I have a problem with hyper focusing on things and freaking out about stuff and I always have, also if it makes any difference it got a little better with acupuncture (my anxiety and my "whatever this is") but it started to get worse again when I left for a trip for a month and a half!

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Sounds like what I would call pre-hppd.... warning signs.

 

Coupled with the fact that you get anxiety pretty badly, I would fully recommend getting off this ride while you still can. MDMA is what took me from pre-hppd to hell on earth, it's just not worth it.

 

I know, at your age, it is hard to think about giving up things that most others can do just fine... But your mental health is just the most valuable thing in the world... Imagine your worst ever bout of anxiety, times it by 100, for the rest of your life (plus a shit load of other horrible disorders).... College, work, meeting people etc will go from being enjoyable to a living hell. It's just not worth any high.

 

If you stop with the hardcore drugs, chances are you will be able to party with beers... smoke some joints etc without ever getting hppd (though I would try to smoke some milder weed, where possible).

 

I really hope you seriously consider giving up the drugs.... I'd give anything, absolutely anything to be back in your position and have all this info at my fingertips to be able to make an informed choice... Please, let my 20 years of mental anguish be worth something by taking this advice and not becoming another one of us, painfully fighting our way through life.

 

Regards, Jay

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But since this happened I have done shrooms and it didn't make it worse.. And I have gotten color when I close my eyes for my whole life. so do you think I have anything or am I over reacting? Also there's this video that temporarily (for 30 seconds or so) cures parts of HPPD for almost everyone that has watched it. It didn't do anything for me, so that's why I'm thinking I'm over reacting.. Thoughts on that? Thanks for the advice

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I can't really answer that... If I say "yea, you are probably over reacting" then you go do some MDMA and screw your brain, it would have been pretty bad advice. If you are seeing some visual snow, have anxiety and see strange patterns in the sky, that seems like a pretty decent warning sign that drugs are not sitting to well with your mind/body.

 

Better just to think that you do have some kind of pre-hppd and move on with your life with lsd/shrooms/mdma.

 

Dodging the bullet on one mushroom trip does not mean that the next one wont be the bullet that gets you. I did various drugs before I realised i was in a world of trouble.

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hey man, your symptoms are very much similar to mine apart that I get very mild after images occasionally (in certain lighting) and spirals/more intense static in the dark. Although my symptoms are not in the slightest debilitating, I got mine from only 8 months of mdma use... And I can tell you that when I first got static, 4 weeks later I took a high strength MDA pill and ever since my static in the dark has been really intense. So yeah, maybe try lay off for a while if you know you are gonna take MD again to let your brain recover... 2 weeks isn't enough.

Also jay, I noticed you keep saying MDMA was one of your personal worse drugs in inducing HPPD - how often/much did you take for it to make it noticeably worse?

I've stupidly done a few bumps of ket since signing up to this forum - thankfully no increase in symptoms apart from shimmering (which I've had after 0 sleep/hangovers). My uni friends plow through drugs like no end and have yet to experience any HPPD shit, funny how different a brains work differently

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When is MDMA powder ever around // 100% clean - hard to know what you're taking is md nowadays, even after testing haha. Hard to put down MDMA entirely as the cause when there are other adulterants in pills.

Sounds like my month binge, although I probably had 10 pills thurs-sat and I'm only 5'3... Good fun though.

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