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Stepping down as admin as well as my activity on the board


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As you already can see, i am no longer administrating the board. The reason is my own wish to do so and David made it happen.

The reason is very simple, at some point most people need to move on from something to something else. I've been here for five years now and i feel a bit fed up with it all. I sat the other day contemplaiting why and it occurred to me why.

All of my old buddies that embraced me on the board five years ago is long gone. I feel old in this community, too old like there is nothing more for me to do but feeling blue when i login.

I do however had some great help from people that is still on this board, Jay and Visual the most. I cannot thank Visual enough for him to guide me to the life i now have threw previously unknown meds. Jay has been the one to bring laughs even when things really looked bad and also helped me out with other things.

Basically what i am trying to say is that you wont see me around anymore. From time to time i'll probably check on the progress in research, as i believe my old buddies do. One day i hope we all can come together when there is a major breakthrough for all of us, my breakthrough has already come and i owe myself to embrace my new life and move on. The fear of moving on is what kept me here for too long the last year but now i know enough about myself to take the step and meet the scary outside world.

Take care all and I'll see you around somewhere in the future.

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Merkan, this is too bad. But nevertheless i hope this experience allows you to move on in the real world. For me, I realize that i have only been involved with this site for a short period of time, but regardless the last 5 years of my life have been enveloped in the world of HPPD. I am concerned that you become depressed every time you log-on but understand that some of the old friends are no longer a part of the site anymore. I wish you the best, and understand the idea that sometimes you just have to move on. I hope i didn't play a part in being a catalyst for your new decision because i enjoy having you around. Keep out of trouble if you can and be careful.


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Honestly, I think it is a little bit selfish to do it. There are not many HPPDers around. This community needs people and every single one counts.

I can understand if this site is interefering with your life, and thank you for what you have done / wish you all the luck; but, if it is not, I think you should consider coming here at least once or so a week, keep up with the activity and answer a few threads. This already means a lot.

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Taking a break from the forum and stopping thinking about HPPD can be a way to heal. That is not selfish, it is just common sense.

He has been selfless, moderating the forum for a long time now... there is nothing to gain from being a moderator, and often, it can be stresful.

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Haven't seen as much activity (posts) from you in recent months. A break will do you good ... but hope you visit from time-to-time

I've been here for five years now and i feel a bit fed up with it all

Meaning and purpose are important for any venture/activity. Actually, I don't exactly know the purpose of this forum. It is probably clearly posted somewhere obvious but I haven't seen it. Posts largely seem to be general conversation. Often requests for help are fleeting.

IMO, the most productive thing we could do is collect information. Mainly what affects HPPD symptoms either good or bad. And to better categorize symptoms 'groupings' (such as dopamine connections or dopamine-GABA junctions, etc...).

Am feeling a bit frustrated that simple polls are not answered by more that a few. For example the CORN poll has 4 votes, all which confirm the hypothesis ... but it is absolutely necessary to have dozens of 'votes' in order to statistically have a meaningful pattern.

Suspect the problem in participation comes down to attention/focus issues (common in mild brain disorders) and to any realization on the part of members that there is something important to be gained by their input/involvement.

Of course each person has there reason for visiting here ... and that is more than fair enough. However, serious input from any/all members is helpful for the community.

At any rate, hope you find new joys in your ventures. And again, please keep us posted on you life and progress with HPPD (or dealing with HPPD). You medication response in meaningful to us and now simply needs 'time testing'. Your topical steroid reaction was amazing (though negative) and provided more valuable information for all ... not to scare anyone (which seems to be another HPPD issue) but to educate on the realities of our disorders.

Take care ...

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I'm sorry to hear this but i wish you all the best. Du är lite utav min förebild haha, dina trådar på flashback har hjälpt mig mycket. Skulle inte förvåna mig ifall vi genom en slump möts i hufvudstaden. Spana in Taylors & Jones på kungsholmen om du är glad i maten, mer säger jag inte!

And again, i wish you all the best, take some underwater photos when you're diving and post them here atleast!

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  • 4 weeks later...

It shouldn't make a huge difference it terms of spam... As I work online, so i pretty much moderate as soon as I see the warning emails.

But it would be good to have another moderator, as I sometimes need moderating too :D

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He doesn't access the board too much... He's a busy man.

Really, i don't see how it's urgent.... We get about one spammer per week and maybe an argument every few months. Of all the forums I go on, this is by far the most relaxed.

But if anyone wants to put themselves forward as an admin, i'll email David.

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