mikethemerc1

Well hell I wish i was as lucky to not be affected by pot as you guys, then i'm lucky that I do go through periods of remission as well. It seems HPPD affects us all differently, maybe every type of HPPD itself is different depending on what drug caused it, who knows. I've been having bad flashbacks of late even without exposure to drugs so who knows I might relapse for no reason.

So for those of you that remember me...I'm a HPPD remisser and im proud to say I've remissed twice. I haven't been on here cause I'm back to 95% (I'll never remember 100:) but I hate to say my troubles are far from over. If you remember, I relapsed due to seconhand pot exposure...a full relapse of symptoms that lasted a good 5-6 months. Now its seems some liberal tax hungry assholes think they can make tax money off it in Colorado. They say they legalized it because they wanted to boost more money for education...are you fucking serious? I mean in my pre HPPD days I smoked...always had tweaks but did it anyway (shouldve been a good warning not to do heavier drugs) but I cant believe just because everyone does it the government has given in. I mean coke was huge in the 80's but NYC never said "well we cant control it so lets legalize it". Yeah pot isnt as addictive as coke and its near impossible to OD but pot can give you a fun case of DP/DR which IMO was worse than visual snow. People think pot is harmless because most people never heard of DP/DR HPPD or any of the things that have fucked our lives. I know I'm in the minority, some HPPDers still smoke and have no reaction, but some of us have relapsed due to secondhand pot. I live in Boston, MA, which undoubtedly legalize pot within 10 years maybe 5. My life is more miserable than when I had full blown HPPD months ago because its everywhere here...in the streets even! And that with pot merely decriminalized...if they legalized it shit itd be more common than cigarettes. So I stay agoraphobic...I go out only when necessary, luckily i got a nice settlement of cash that I'm investing but that begs the question...should I up and leave the USA? Go to a country where they execute you for owning pot? I mean you guys can relate to if you were back to normal but could relapse at any moment more than anyone I know. So if you had 300000 dollars, and a hppd threathened life what would you do? I actually bought a gasmask im so paranoid of legalization...help!!!

Currently im on Klonodine .1 mg a day. Its a blood pressure pill that also is an alpha channel blocker. It blocks alot of the body's fear responses that may be associated with DP/DR. I have had great results with anxiety DP/DR. IMO it has helped me more than k pin without that high feeling and memory problems. The only negative is that it slighlty increased my snow, but that could be because it makes you a little tired and my snow is always worse when im beat. It's a great alternative for klono.

Mg I feel you coming out of this didnt change all that much, I just with I did more with the time I had instead of school which ultimately puts back here.

Just let it be man I had good things with theanine it's better than k pin as for DNA RNA lol I don't think you can eat genetic code. But maybe you're starting to heal stop thinking about it and see what happens, can't get worse

Yeah just like I though Parris island was endless... Us hppders would kick ass in the military were all suicidal anyway but not really. We just know there are worse things than death there fore aren't affected by human senses like we once were. Death, a life without static, pure darkness, something I haven't seen in years. I have no fear.

If I kill myself over hppd it will be like leaving las Vegas, one hundred liters of whiskey and a prostitute

Diphenhydramine ie Benadryl made me trip balls when I was denying this was a hppd relapse. I couldn't sleep so I took it, nothing permanant but I was seeing snowflakes all morning.

Honestly I don't think hppd is a stand alone disorder, the drug obviously irritated and already fragile part of our brains, I mean they're not in our system anymore so it had to trigger something else. I mean I know some real acid heads who hardly get flashbacks so the whole burnt out receptor things I don't buy. Dopamine is part of the problem yes, but it's not like we don't make it like Parkinson's. I mean my experience, where such a small amount of exposure to weed brought back full blown hppd is proof that dopamine isn't the whole problem, there's no way I fried those receptors again from that. Yet migraines can be triggered by anything. Idk Pma is identical to hppd, maybe scarier actually since drugs don't have to be involved. Maybe hppd is just induced migraine aura without infarction, if that's the case maybe there's hope for getting docs to help us, and not treat us like junkies

Yeah I keep an eye on my drinks like a mother if someone slipped me acid I'd just shoot myself

Trust mg this is the only thing that makes me crazy, and of course the whole running away from secondhand pot smoke. I'm really contemplating moving somewhere where pot is highly criminalized I mean people smoke it right in the street in Boston cause the worst cops do is take it away. Hell when I was working on the pd half the officers smoked. I'm starting to hate America even more.

Hey you're out of that cesspool of drugs we call college be thankful should be easy to avoid now.

Wellbutrin works on dopamine receptors, but that's all I know. If you want to take an anti depressant thats the one id say. I personally say stop everything, although that's tough, I know all about crazy effects from mixing meds, real trips hell and they're always bad, but mixing meds will do that Wellbutrin alone is rare.

No I understand what you're saying but the migraine aura thing is what I think is more what im experiencing, yet I think all these disorders are the same so what's the difference anyway. But I know what you're getting at the world even healthy people never see the world they did years ago. The brain constantly changes but it's the awareness of the change that is disturbing. Honestly I'm well put together mentally, but when I look at the time I've spent with this disorder it's disturbing even more so than the disorder, I wish I never researched anything, hppd, dp dr, any of it. I wish I couldve just pretended it didnt happen but then that fear comes back. Illogical since Ive healed once and will again eventually, it just my own mind hurting me at this point, trying to find answers to all of it, and at the same time trying not to ask the questions because I did it once and here I am again. I guess I have a concern on migraine aura because of my 8 mm pituitary cyst that is likely the source of my migraines pre hppd. If that's causing migraines, then maybe it's could cause Pma. I know that's bull since drugs were involved, but maybe my fear of it gave me a migraine! Maybe I should just shut the fuck up and move on again for that is the only option and solution.

So I was feeling a lot better recently, everything was reverting back to normal, except for minor 5 minute flashbacks. Then at night I had a rough time getting to sleep and had a weird head buzz and the hppd got notched up in intensity. Yet I don't know, I had migraines when I was 8. Soon after, I went through a phase I called "the thoughts". I'm pretty sure I went through dp dr and didnt know it. A lot of people said I went through puberty, but it wasn't. This lasted six months roughly and I was put on tenex for add. Idk what alleviated what but it faded just like my first bout of hppd. Now I'm fairly certain drugs are triggers for migraines. So idk if my migraines are part of hppd or vise versa. I've never been a heavy drug user, one hallucinogenic use triggered my hppd. Is it possible that these are Pma? persistent migraine aura? Is dp dr a symptom of Pma? My first hppd experience ended without drug use, but after I took 3 weeks of desiprimine for migraines. I had severe sleep parayalis as a result but my hppd stopped a few months later. I doubt that stuff helped with those effects, but idk. I thought I was in the last weeks of this and boom, two steps back. I guess a week of no symptoms is great but i dont know why it got worse again?

Yeah I didnt mean early in the sense you've had 4 years, that's long, but I meant since stopping pot and booze, that's the real hppd, your body without anything being fucked. Again I'll give you an idea what they're gonna say, they're going to be clueless, I'm in Boston where the best hospitals are and I've only found one doctor besides abraham who has a clue. As for stress... Hppd is undoubtedly affected by stress, the more stress, the more static, and worse dp dr if you let it go to far. Stress free and sleep is the best med although stress free is impossible you have to deal with it properly is all. Good luck I'm having a weird night really good symptoms gone all day now a little anxiety and boy look at the colors, take it easy were here.

I heard good things about 5 htp, but of you want to know my regimen, which had helped a lot here it is. 400mg of Sam e, 1000-3000 mg of l tyrosine (that's what I think u meant to say as that's the precursor to dopamine), 200-600 mg of l theanine, a good multi, 240 mg of ginkgo biloba, valerian root tea, triple strength fish oil 4 pills a day, and ibuprofen for pain, was allergic so went to Tylenol works well too, it was expensive but brought results by the end of the month, I feel 75% better, but mindset is key, as is no drugs. Honestly jay you are early into hppd, stay clean from booze and ESP pot, you can drink when you remiss, I never had booze bring it back, yet take it easy when you do start to drink. Honestly I miss drinking, but I miss normal more. Don't drink while you have it! You have already seen what it does to the majority of us. Try the vitamins they cant hurt, and set goals for yourself besides getting better, from my experience, remissing only happens when you aren't looking or waiting for it. Realistically a year is a good time to expect, but you will improve it never gets worse once its triggered unless you add drugs and stress. Acceptance is key, and the world is the same, you're just sick, don't ever feel like there's no hope because it doesn't matter, you can live regardless with or without hppd, life has problems even without it. You're gonna have to make a new reality as I put it, and then the world will fall back into place.

Honestly it's about balance I think sleep dep from 6 summer classes made me suceptable to relapse but while dped it helps I have reach a balance now of 6 to 8 hours anymore fucks me up any less it's like poor tv reception all day but no dr. Lately sleep has been very comforting, the first time I feared it because I had sleep parayalis which started after migraine meds. Once I stabilized my sleep, I felt better every day. No sleep paralysis this time thank god probably why im recovering so well, no benzos either, seriously guys try theanine instead helped me more than valerian or k, natural stuff but you need at least twice the rec dose and it'll slow your heart rate nicely during an anxiety attack.

I'm a student, former marine ( a shitty one), and my last job was at a police station. Currently I am trying to start a private security/military firm with my ex boss who was a navy seal. I got no time for hppd most days, but at night when I'm alone, it creeps up on me. I can honestly say hppd dp dr is worse than living on Parris island, and that's saying a lot. I'm a remisser though like I said and have never had an abundant use of drugs, maybe that's why, although all my symptoms matched even the worst on this site. So don't let the amount scare you hppd is a triggered event, not cumulative IMO. I never had the guts to try sine met I was offered it by dr Abraham himself, I made the right decision. I like knowing I have a back up plan in some met if it doesn't work then I have no outs but evil k and painkillers.

Well if you taper on and of painkillers like klono pin then you might be in luck, yet that's a tightrope act. Mg I feel you, the headaches were terrible with my "real hppd" a few years back. It felt like there was a boulder on my head and some bastard was sitting on it. It was like a pressure, implosion of my brain, during these I couldn't move. Adivan did help but did not cure them. Then I tried desiprimine, it made the headaches stop but made me hallucinate. I dealt with the hallo contains because it was better than the headaches! Then I went clean, detox followed by a cleansing diet by this Vietnamese girl of only water for 10 days and steam, she made it less terrible with massages of my head ( both of them). After everything was said and done the headaches went away not hppd but it was better and remissed three months after, I don't know what the hell the headaches are from but they are not migraines maybe it's our brains putting shit back together.

Lol mg priceless

The lamical rash huh, yeah lamical is the main thing for dp dr from what I've read lately from London university (damn Brits at least have done something right;) as for the pot, it should be known that's the leading cause of acute dp dr and smoking it definitely was prolonging your hppd. I mean secondhand pot retriggered hppd for me, as hard to believe as that is. I'm over sensitive to every drug though. Luckily not as severe but definitely pot is a no no, booze is debatable. I think you should count the days of being off everything as hppd because you were still smoking pot in the onset. Try the ginkgo It helped me with the tinnitus greatly and valerian tea works better than klono if prepared right. You'll be fine and if you have to mask symptoms than do it, it's the best thing if you aren't showing any progress. Be patient anything under 5 years is likely going to pass even over that is possible and I'm sure you vets have had improvements as well, hang in there and find a good counselor and neurologist it will help to know there's people that are willing to treat you, but make sure you're in control stay away from anti depressants though.

Well jay there is a clinic in Texas treating hppd with Vicodin and other opiates, I myself had a tooth abcess and took painkillers before I knew what hppd was and had it. At the time of being on the pills I though everything was from the abcess in reality once I stopped the painkillers the visuals increased and the dp dr. Is it a cure, no, and dhould be taken cautiously. Honestly they are less addictive than benzos and I had better results with them as benzo make hppd worse when you stop. Honestly though there are no established treatments for hppd, everything is hearsay, even Abraham. So I'm just going by experience and Zachary seif the guy who mentioned the clinic, ironically the same guy who cured his hppd through deep brain stimulation. My other friend has had more acid in his life than half the board combined and has always been addicted to opiates, ironically he has never even had a flashback. There's a correlation and if hppd is dopamine related then opiates are the next best thing to sine met, which in may opinion is more dangerous. Anyway I'm not saying it'll work or to do it, just that I think it's better from my experience than benzos and that if you had to take something go with them. I feel no drugs is the best as I said. There's 1 in 2 of us that remiss naturally, myself included. Granted everyone's is different by cause, but I think intensity is universal

Painkillers never hurt my hppd or migraines and some think it can treat hppd cause of dopamine release, as for things to avoid, my god be careful of tricyclics like desiprimine made me a hundred times worse, actually had hallucinations at night and sleep seizures.

But hell sometimes it feels so good