Br0k3nS41nt

As long as I have nothin to do irl I should be there. Although, it is like 11 pm for me, meaning I will be able to be on for a while but is early morning for our european friends.

I guess on a philosophical level, we are men stripped bare of the illusion of objectivity, people take for granted that they are enveloped in a world that everyone is familiar, unchanging, and comprehendable. Beyhond their bodies, there is easily seen truth. We, naturally, as humans, do not interpret the world around us as a manifestation what our senses feels and our brain interprets but rather as a direct connection to what the world is. Why? Because there is no reason not too. HPPD and DP/DR strips this illusion from you and shows how subjective truth really is.

I would not necessarily say this is better, but some would go as far as to say we hppder's have a more acturate version of reality.

It takes it to know it.

Mornings are hard, I have gotten more used to them. Just try to do things that push your symptoms to the back of your mind. For me, I have a smart phone, my number one savior, I go online. Read things, do things until my symptoms go back to baseline. Best of luck.

I think that happens to everyone, I think it is getting better sometimes permanently. It always comes back, I go from oh my god, I am coming out of the woods to I am not going to survive the weekend sometimes on the same day. Yesterday was the worse day in my whole life, today I barely notice the symptoms. I do feel like I am improving over all, but I need to step back on both regards and remember the future is always uncertain, I can always get better, I can always get worse.

It would be, he had other videos, last one he posted said he had recovered. My guess he had it for 2.5-3 years.

Thanks, I actually feel a lot better now, back to baseline. Sleep deprivation is probably what did that to me. Fatigue is probably the worse thing for me, in as far as my visuals are concerned. I just need to treat my body better in terms of sleep. I have learned that sleep deprivation brings whatever to become inflamed, which makes me panic which makes sleep even harder. Visious circles.

Took it today, I actually broke my no persciption drug thing the other day. Took some hydrocodone at the beginning of the week, then again yesterday, and my visuals skyrocketted worse than ever. I have slept 4 hours in the last 48, all the dizziness I have gotten rid of came back, when I walk I looks like I am on a swing, I need to sleep so I took 1mg of xanax recently, benzos are not what I expected and less effective than I thought. I am going back to the doctors, there is no way all of this is HPPD.

Fuck these swaying walls.

How long have you relapsed? Did you smoke or anything during your time of remiss?

Yeah DID never really made much sense to me, sounded too sensationalist, too hollywood. Shaolin, your explaination seems reasonable though.

Throughout this ordeal my most distinct an and often most unsettling symptom is when objects, the gound, or walls will move. I shall look at a wall and the whole thing will shift and sway up and down, or like today when I woke up and my cabinets started breathing, sometimes the ground in front of me will move and wave, or the ground appear tilted up or down. Sometimes when I move and it moves differently, it makes me dizzy, it is hard to judge space I am in. I used to be able to feel this movement everywhere, this felt like a vestibular issue, this felt like a vestibular issue and the doctor I went to said probable labyrinthits, which fit the description when I felt dizzy all the time, when I felt like I was walking on a boat in stormy weather. I still find it hard to sand straight with my eyes closed, which again points to a vestibular issue, but I find it most improbable that I developed a vestibular issue and HPPD over the course of the same night. My other visual symptoms came later, afterimages increasing in duration and quantity over the first week, I noticed visual snow after like a month and a half. Do any of you perceive movement? To what extent? Is it just part of walls that breath in your visual snow, or is it like me whose walls will frequently shift up and down, the corners of computer screens shift in and out? I have never found a definite answer about the extent people with HPPD see things move that are not supposed to move.

Why I worry is that I show many signs of post trauma vision syndrome (http://www.padulainstitute.com/post_trauma_vision_syndrome.htm) which can only occur after physical brain trauma or stroke, which I am damn certain I did not suffer. It can occur with MS, which can explain all my other symptoms as well, to the point where I should be setting up an MRI with a neurologies to see if it could be, but except my three month bout with true disqualibrium dizziness, I experience none of the common symptoms of MS that you can't just explain away by my anxiety level. I am just terribly confused.

As far back as they were hallucinagens. I guess this is what it is to have one foot in the spirit world. Though it would suck if you had no information and your perception forever changed, it would be maddening.

Right on, it is good to quantify the experience into scientific terms. When your eyesight and therefore your perception of the world is altered, I believe this is what leads to the unsettling parts of hppd. If a man breaks his arm, or looses function of his legs, this is obviously serious, but mentally, he is the same. His world does not look different, behave differently, he has a physical ailment, something easily quantified. HPPD suffers, as well as suffers from similar disorders, something is physically wrong with us, but we cannot separate what is physical from what our minds interpret it to be. I think this is where dp/dr stems. Or world moves in ways our minds have never experienced before, there are flashes of light and patterns where seemingly there is no possible source. This, along with a possible phyiscal link to anxiety, creates such a dysphoric mental state and that is what makes us feel so weird.

I could be, I am pretty sure I have dp/dr, somedays it is a lot worse than others. When I first started noticing it my hand and arms looked elongated, like they were foreign, I had this weird numbing feeling all over my body as well. The best way to describe my dp is that I feel my body is a machine, and I am this little man piloting this machine not exposed to it at all. All my info I get through my senses feel displaced from me, the little man, who pulls all the levers and reads the info and responds accordingly but this body, and the outside world is close but I cannot grasp it.

Anyway, the best thing for me is to force myself not to think about it, to push it all the way to the back of my mind. Dp/dr is a weird feeling, it makes you feel like you cannot remember shot, like you have only the snapshot in time. But you are no different, it may seem like you are super impared but you are not, dp/dr is a way for your mind to dissociate itself from your body and your anxiety and your visuals. A way to keep itself from suffering. The best thing and the only thing you can do is not think about it. Over the past days I have decided that for myself. Before I would look at the visuals, every few mins, see if they were getting better, I would think of how detached I was from the world, how singular and alone I was. I decided I was not going to do that anymore, I accepted that the visuals and dp/dr will be there for a while, that looking at them will make them get worse. So I force myself to be occupied, when I ignore my symptoms don't give them the time of day, I don't see them, I don't feel them nearly as much. This will help you a buttload, and I believe the only way to recovery.

I respectfully disagree, these visual symptoms, this snow, this movement, these afterimages, are things, things we do not quite understand, the thing about lacking understanding is that in the future this lack of understanding can change. However, dp/dr, anxiety, these are feelings, these are subjective experiences, I am not saying that dp/dr or anxiety is nothing more than a bad mood, but feelings are complex mental states, sure, anxiety is controlled by specific mechanisms in the brain. You can take pills to regulate and manage anxiety and depression, this may be true with dp/dr as well, some chemical imbalance. But, when looking at dp/dr anxiety, depression on a greater scale, all of these are processes and results due to the inherent qualities of the brain itself. How can one cure anxiety? How can one cure depression? How can one cure something that is only defined by a debilitating effect of something everyone experiences? Many people get over dp/dr, anxiety, and depression.

HPPD, however is a malfunction of a part of the brain, whether it is the thalamus or something else, it is caused by something going wrong, some sensory gate being overstimulated, some kind of seizure, or migraine or whatever. There are treatments for malfunctions of the brain, seizures medication, psychotic disorder medication. Sure, these things are not cured, per se, but they are treatable to the point where the symptoms diminish greatly over time. We do not have this with HPPD, nor many other neurological disorders. At some point, it will be treatable, same with the other neurological disorders, like Alzheimer's, MS, Parkinson's, etc.

This may not happen in our life time, but it certainly can.

Also, dp/dr could also be caused by the visual symptoms and anxiety, when I feel more dp/dr'ed is when the walls are moving, or text is bouncing, or afterimages are up.

I think it is actually pretty likely, or at least a reliable treatment. From the research I have come across, it is easy to tell that not much is known about sensory disorders, because of their relative obsurity and lack of true malignancy. But, with furthering tech and more understanding about how the brain processes sensory info, along with an increased presents of the disease because of the internet, I believe that there is hope. With dedicated research about this and similar disorders, about the neuropathy of sensory symptoms, I can see it being a very easy disorder to treat.

But, I think it is best not to rely on the future, just remember its uncertain nature. The place where you are now is not the place you will be 5 months from now. Things change, and even more promising, things tend to seek equalibrium. If the disorder doesn't you will.

I had a pretty rough night last night, my dp fllairs at night, espescially close to sleep when I close my eyes, which then prevents me from sleep. This morning, in a trend of a the last few, I woke up with a tingly feeling, along with increased visuals both which fade within 10 mins. The tingly feeling is not pins and needles and it is not in my limbs its in my chest, its normally only in my chest. Do you guys experience anything similar? It has been troubling me recently, if it keeps on I may go get checked for MS, in accordance with my visual symptoms so...

I also believe that not all HPPD is created equal, many things may cause the disorder, probably why it is so hard to track down. All depends on your own brain chemistry and what you injested that gave you it. I have read many stories of many drugs working while others have had the opposite reaction. The brain is still one hell of a mysterious place, especially the way it processes sensory data. What I find promising is that with time they will be explained. A lot can be learned in the next ten twenty years.

Keppra from what I hear has given relief if not complete remiss to multiple people with HPPD. I have also heard horror stories. Keppra is one of those drugs that HPPDers ask their doctors about when nothing else seems to work, when the doctor is about as fusterated with the disorder as the patient. Many doctors wont know that keppra can help, if the patient appears knowledgeable about the neuropathy, many doctors will allow them to try.

Somedays I can go for hours without thinking of HPPD, I have strings of a few days of almost complete remiss, perhaps a little visual snow and a bit of movement. These days are getting more frequent and longer in duration. I think my dp is also linked to my visual symptoms, as it also lessens during these periods. These are always nice, then it all comes back and gets worse again, anxiety the works, makes me feel bipolar.

Same thing with me. Nick Drake is a legitimate treatment for when dp flairs up, so is Robert Miles.

Something weird that happens to me is that things that go on in the farthest parts of my peripheral visions seem to get stuck there. If I am at my computer and someone pokes their head into the door, which is 90 degrees of where I am looking. AfterI am done speaking to them and turn my head back to the computer screen, I could swear they are still there. But when I turn my head back they are not. Its weird.

When you say you feel like you're walking when you are standing still, does this mean you see the world sway up and down? Because that is my main symptom.

You say you are on resperidol, meaning you where probably prescribed this by a psychiatist. Go see him, what you perceive maybe a symptom of what ever you are taking antipsychotics for. It maybe HPPD, in which case Resperidol is know to make it worse. Go seek professional help, it seems like the best option for you.

David, you are a champion in my eyes, a man strong enough to fight back against this curse. Your journey, going through school with this disorder, is something so difficult, I can personally attest. It gives me hope for the future, at a time in which I have little. Even of you don't find reliable treatment, if these neuro-sensory aliments prove uncurable, at least there is one of us trying.

Good luck

Although, since you have not had a proper psychodelic substance, and you are still having symptoms you should see your doctor. Just to rule out any non drug related neurological disorder.