alice-acid

its a small price to pay for a good laugh though i think

yh gettin twatted followed by a benzo is good for me atm

im 18 and at college what does any1 expect haha, and like i said get worried about missin out etc

or even gettin fairly twatted with afew benzo and you end up gettin incredibly pissed off not that many beers, as its a combo ive been usin for years to have to spend less on beers XD plus the hangover is never as bad coz uve not even drank much

and gmo my symptoms are negative afterimages, visual snow, acid like visuals (patterns raising up the wigglin round etc) but thats only really on the worst days (ie terribly hungover), CEVs, anxiety (often leadin to full blown panic attacks) insomnia from the anxiety, trails sometimes, starbursts, patterns on flat surfaces...

same, infact i too tripped exactly 8 times o.O

tbf tho it was more than 10 months, it was like 2 years, but still not exactly a lifetime

i think the mental side of things is so much worse, anxiety is probably my worst 1 to be honest

my dp/dr is only rarely there and something i had long before hppd anyway but i didnt actually know thats what it was, until i read about it on here

to be honest im not sure i dont think u should spend too much time near massive sound systems or anything but you cant simply let tinnitus stop you goin out with mates i dont think it'll make enough difference to matter

mine never seemed to be especially worse after a night out that i noticed though

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iyKXEdnN8b4

beauuutiful song

edit:uploader on youtube was incorrect, this isnt even portishead. disappointed with myself for not noticing hhaha

oh and boogres sorry never read your reply. had it since like spring last year so probably about a year now o:

helooo nedd

no to be honest i have very severe like... abandonment fears so the idea of not continuing with my social life just wasnt an option really, i'd just end up depressed and shit and it'd all get worse really

cant say it was as much fun though i wont lie

i do still get pissed but i probably shouldnt it brings out the worst in me sometimes. but i just cant picture and entirely sober life and i dont really take drugs any more. i do regret it though sometimes. got fucked up on friday night and regretted it the next day D:

theyre supposedly linked in some way i think, its all very interesting

i have apersonality disorder that is also linked to ptsd, and happens to effect the exact same part of the brain that HPPD does

i fully agree with this, ive said afew times on here that the way i got over the worst of my HPPD was just ignoring it, not letting it get the best of me, and that itself would cause my visuals to get milder. if you dont giv in to the panic, then it's alot easier to deal with

and yeah alot of people say when they get ill the symptoms get worse, never had it myself coz i've not been ill yet but i think most people say it only lasts afew weeks? not sure thought don't quote me on that! although if you say the weed was part of that too then perhaps not :/

i'm glad things are getting better for you though

No offense here but people who say that ignoring the symptoms makes them "go away" I dont believe even have HPPD. The problem is much deeper than that. One simply does not ignore the dozen+ visual symptoms and the dissociation and feel ok again.

No, if you think ignoring is a cure then you're on the wrong message board.

well i disagree. i am 100% that i have hppd, i have pretty much all the symptoms, i'm just incredibly used to dealing with the anxiety etc and they havent fully gone away, but the anxiety has which in turn made the visuals less intense, the stressing makes them worse for most people as far as ive heard

why else do you think benzos reducing the anxiety helps so many people? i just reduced mine in a different way

well i dno about these days but microdots used to be a tiny little dot of mdma soaked in lsd, i think its probably sugar now everyones a cheapskate haha

but theres probably alot more on a mocrodot i would guess? i dont see why else it would be so much more intense

and yeah i'd say stay the hell away from all drugs and probably alcohol for a while and theres a high chance you'll get better over a short time, a'rend maybe even be able to go back to that kind of lifestyle if you think you're fully healed

however continue gettin mashed u'll probably just get worse... don't do what alot of people on here did and find that out the hard way!

yeah i do have alot of trouble controlling my emotions definitely that first 1 has to be the worst

i heard a good description from someone who said the it is essentially a disorder of not being able to let go of things

the inability to take criticism, the inappropriate anger, letting things ruin your whole day, loads of things

and in the uk yeah we start around 4 or 5 i think, but this didnt even happen til i was about 12, everyones so fragile at that age

and sounds like ur past has sucked man but onwards and upwards is what i say

stayed the hell away from smack but i know how addictive ket rly is as i think u have read previously haha, worst drug to happen to the uk i say

yeah my abandonment anxiety is terrible too, as my bpd came from a mass abandonment by all my friends when i was too young too really understand, and they were all too young to do anything other than what the popular girl said it was really messed up

and because i was reading on dr abrahams site somewhere that all the people that he'd seen that got hppd off anything other than lsd had a pre existing problem with thier nervous system, same part of the brain bpd effects

basically we were more likely to get it than most people due to bpd

yeah it does suck when people fuck with your head >:[

but im tryingg

also 'life painted by hppd' i like it ;D im doin alot better than i used to be

and my bpd definately adds a uniqueness if you ask me, i think without it there would be no hppd personally

i bet it was brill back then clubs arent as good as they used to be from what i can tell hehe

i dont even know what SLC is o.O

i can imagine theres alottt of drugs if you live near enough to south america, but then again big UK city its pretty easy here too

yeah i got a stutter for a while it was really fucking annoying to be honest

and just TOTAL word block, so annoying.

bahaa HAC51 became FAC51 but that went about a year ago now its some shitty cheesy club called rumours XD

and it pretty much ALL came from india until somethin happened and now there is none...

and PCP D: eurgh i would NEVERRR go there ever

wish id had the chance to try DMT though... and ACO

haha that sounds funny lol ive seen people sniff gram lines and be sat in 1 place twitchin for like 3 hours its kind of entertainin coz ive got used to the fact theyre ok but still hahaa but it is a hell of a drug ;D

meee since sometime last year when i got hppd. mine was APPAULING for the first 2 months but i think ive coached myself out of the anxiety, therefore calming the visuals down and therefore i dont really mind hppd even nearly as much

and that in itself is enough of a reason for me to just stay away from every substance (apart from afew drinks on the weekend, im not a hermit )

i got through the very worst of it with daily panic attacks, constant anxiety, crying every night and all that jazz with noone to help me, no meds, just sensible lifetyle and a positive attitude when i could. its all about pretending its not there if you ask me. the first step into panic attack and hppd spike if you ask me is letting yourself get dragged in. its fucking hard but every time you try as hard as you can to keep functioning you do abit better.

haha i feel like ive gone into some sort of self help coach mode its not even what you asked lmao YOU CAN DO IT EVERY ONE LOL BELIEVE IN YOURSELF

it isnt really much of a rave drugs hence people get so addicted,. you take it when you;re just sat chillin mostly, not out and abotu as much its more mentally addictive than physically i think, or at first certainly

everyone on the scene is fukin mental and depressed from so much drug use and such, and obviously are the kind of people that are naturally seeking the next level of absolute crazy drug experiences and seriously theres nothin crazier than a massive line of ket, plus it completely takes you out of this world, the only drug you can completely forget yourself and your troubles on! (apart from maybe smack dno stayed away from that, and crack and meth ofc)

thats my theory anyway

my best mates all happened to get addicted to ket in the few months after they broke up with thier long term boyfriends, after it always being just as available before then, and also cheaper before then too..

I have problems forming fluid speech, and I can't think of the right word to use a lot of the time... That is why I like typing, I sound much smarter in writing than I do verbally! One thing I have noticed that goes along with HPPD was a speech impediment type stutter. I never had an issue with stuttering up until using ketamine for a long period of time. It has gotten much better over time, but for a few months there I sounded like Billy Bibbit!

where are you from oliver? UK?

seriously man madchester hahaha it really is back! no lie even the biggest geeks at my school are stoners now, and some of them take trips and everything most of them take pills its serious madness up here! but ketamine has been a massive problem over the last 2 years with a looooot of people being addicted |:

bristol has a ketamine ward!!! its never had a smack or crack ward thats how bad its got... and then came the ket drout... probably the bet thing to ever happen to the youth of this country