alice-acid

i just dont understand how it works?! is it to do with the detox, or the will power and strength of mind that is required? i cant imagine living without food, i eat 4-5 times a day if im up and out! although i will try most things to get rid of my anxiety and panic attacks. i have been thinking about trying a vegan diet next, i have posted about it, i would be interested to know your thoughts on that too! perhaps i will give fasting a go after that if i feel i have the power, probably in summer when my life is less full

really not sure what positive effects come from raw however, i understand that cooking vegetables removes a lot of nutrients, but in terms of the effect on mental rather than physical health, i can't see it making heaps of difference

i have been reading a lot about vegan diets having a very positive effect for people with anxiety and ptsd. in all honesty the only evidence i have come across is anecdotal, but it does interest me. seeing as hppd sufferers seem to be hypersensitive to everything that we put in our bodies, perhaps that goes as far as the crap we consume through meat and dairy, and even non-organic fruits and vegetables. i am thinking about giving it a go. i felt generally healthier when i switched to vege anyway, and the vegan diet is something with other positives than my mental health for me anyway so perhaps i will give it a go. any thoughts on this? or even, any knowledge? haha

this is so fascinating, how on earth did you cope?! 

i wouldnt want to anyway i dont like the idea of taking a pill to alter my mind ever, freaky! 

lack of ability to go a single god damn day without being constantly anxious and probably having a panic attack thanks to this HPPD. and more disturbing than visuals too is the fact that my tongue never feels comfortable in my own mouth. like its sat wrong or something :S all the weird sensations i get throughout my body now annoy me 10 times more than anything else, i cant ignore them because theyre in me if that make sense. at least the things i see are not part of me

all got a bit much for me yesterday. god im starting to use this site like a bloody diary

i think once your symptoms are a little more in check you can have a few if you are sensible, i have a tendency to not stop though so i have to quit by the looks of things

about 3 years, i am much better and was basically symptom free for a long time but ended up back here because i was stupid and drank far too much, if i hadnt id probably be living normal life right now !

i feel you i really do, i remember my first 6 months were awful. dont do anything silly honestly its shit but you can do this! you can overcome it! 

anyone? not sure how to deal with life throwing shit my way when i feel like a good day is more difficult for me than it is for most. how am i meant to deal with bad times when my good days are already bad days

wow thats interesting, it certainly strengthens my personal belief about HPPD being a form of PTSD, as i think land sickness could be. however i dont have as much knowledge as alot of people on this board about the neurological links/causes of any of these things, its just not my area. the similarities in symptoms and causes just baffle me

i think that generally if a med is what is making your symptoms worse then once you stop taking it they will go back to bassline. you are fairly new to HPPD though right? i would advise that you dont jump into meds just yet if possible

wow, whenever i hear stories like this it just feels crazy! such a long time to not know whats happening to you. if i hadn't found this site i wouldn't have began any kind of recovery for considerably longer! anyway, welcome! 

i wish i was smarter right now

i had a pretty bad time on codeine, it made me feel so sluggish i thought i was falling through my matress. but this was when i was going through my initial terrified stages of HPPD and i was incredibly hungover, so it was a bad day anyway. i also took about 4 times what i was told to because i thought i was clever |:

ive also had it once or twice since and taken the correct dosage and its made me feel better if anything that slight sluggishness was fairly calming lol

i'm definitely interested in this, my mum gave me a cd that she got from her councilor for dealing with stress and anxiety called 'getting the most from relaxation'. i havent had a chance to try it yet but this seems more like it as it is geared towards HPPD specifically! the one i have is fairly generic i think and just handed out to anyone that mentions anxiety haha

yeah i think to expect no judgement was a bit stupid i was just not feeling too great then, or now haha. i think my drinking days are now also going to have to be over. i cant do any of the fun stuff any more

I took a very small, small dose of molly at the last show I went to. I try to limit myself to a few beers and weed. Ironically the only problems I have after all that is an increase in my tinnitus as the show got very loud. In fact that night I felt fantastic. Unfortunately a speaker I was standing near shot some loud guitar feedback directly into my brain via my ear canal. It's been two days. Hopefully it goes away, as its a little more annoying now. Still, bearable. I generally tell people that I would never touch psychedelics again. And that much is mostly true. But it's not every day someone carries around extremely pure low doses of MDMA in their pocket. So I decided, given the circumstances I would indulge. Probably won't again. Just a nice break from having to militantly swear everything off. 

^an example of what i mean right there. if i were to smoke weed now i KNOW it would send me over the edge

i know i seem like and idiot, but the last time i took mdma was about 2 months before my symptoms returning, which returned after drinking too much wine (i usually drink lager) because it was a work do, there was no beer there and i apparently make the bad decision to drink more wine after ive had a little haha. i know what you mean but when i said 'i still use drugs' i think i gave the impression of me still regularly gettin proper mashed on mandy haha thats definately NOT the case. my point was that what is the case for one isnt always the case for another!

..  yeah thanks jimmy for your helpful kind words, i am aware it wasn't a good idea OBVIOUSLY. if you haven't got anything nice to say then say nothing at all . i like to hope that on this message board i would receive no judgement for my actions, what with most people here abusing drink at drugs at some point. 

and thanks guys i am sure it will get better again and i wont be making that mistake again!

no but i wouldn't dare! i know that anxiety is half my problem, and just the thought of taking a hallucinogenic makes my heart feel like its trying to jump out of me haha 

venting helps haha!

im sure there is a bad day thread somewhere but i can't find it. as you might have guessed im having a TERRIBLE DAY!!! i really considered myself hppdless for a very long time too, then i had an almighty hangover after works christmas do and my symptoms have been yo-yoing ever since. hopefully they will die down again but there is nothing worse than knowing how close to freedom i was and the idea that i seem to be on the way to becoming a total mess again. BLARG

just go with what feels right i guess, i still use drugs and find i know what does and doesnt sit well with me, alot of/ most people on here say mdma makes it worse, but for me thats just not true. i wouldnt recommend going all out though, not just for the sake of your hppd but also because its stupid haha