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Jacob Lesley

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Posts posted by Jacob Lesley

  1. @cosmiccharlie I got so much to do and experience! Partying till 27-28 in Amsterdam.. having a great job or having my own real estate that is my financial dream! Getting some girls and eventually find the perfect keeper the best one of all and live with her! Maybe getting some kids who knows, buy a house or live in my fathers house in the most cozy and fun town! Seeing my friends a lot and way more stuff and the best thing of all not think about hppd but sometimes if people bring up hard times you get a flashback and you are like wow my life at 22 year old was a true hell and nightmare but at the end of that year I fully 1000% recovered and started really living and never touched anything... and afterwards forget the conversation and life on just living

  2. @cosmiccharliethankyou so much, I sometimes just have the feeling that this is the end.. that my life ended at 22 and hated drugs was always so careful with it and still got fuc.ked. I just can’t believe it it is so weird. I want to be the normal me the guys who people loves to be around funny, kind, outgoing and not thinking about this disorder.. just want to go to a party and not think about how I feel or how uncomfortable I am in my own skin. Just go to school thinking about the unimportant things the girls, homework, the weekend and not have the disorder feeling showing up everywhere I go.. it follows me and never leaves me.. Just wanted to be that kid/guy again just me. Jacob. Not wanting to feel ashamed of my disorder and feeling proud of me again of the person I am and the great friends I have and smile.. I just want to fully recover again and live like I have never lived before! Disorder disappearing and just travel and work sorry needed this out of my system

  3. Personally I think it has to do with stress, anxiety, emotional problems! And you used the drug and it got 2-5x worse and the hppd or visual snow and derealisation started! That’s was the case for me! I am did mdma 5 times first 3 times nothing wrong 4th time had an enormous amount of stress and not happy used the drug and the derealisation started with a little hppd 5th time same thing had so much emotional stress and not happy and used it again and hppd got elevated!! I am sure it is just a anxiety problem and the reason why it stays for 50% of the people is because they never get to the real problem the stress and anxiety 

  4. I was thinking there is a Visual Snow Initiative for finding the cure! Why don’t we start our own fund to find the cure? Think about it personally I am willing to put $1000+ into it maybe more if needed because this disorder is a huge burden..

    if we have 18000+ members or more willing to donate for their own cure we could help ourselves.. why don’t we give it a shot I mean! What do we have to lose? 
     

    My expectation is that their is going to be a cure within 10-20 years either way but we could speed up the process by starting our own initiative to find a cure for this disorder! And personally I think there is a cure I am almost sure! We just haven’t find it yet. But we need money for research!

  5. @cosmiccharlie Ok thankyou for the advice, I will not drink till a feel I am back to my old self maybe it hinders the healing process and a day extra because of drinking is not worth it. I still bought the other supplements you recommended and won’t look for more supplement because of anxiety. Thankyou for all your help and I know I feel recover it will take a while but that’s ok! I believe you that I recover! And I Will

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