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Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD) Support Forum

Jacob Lesley

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Everything posted by Jacob Lesley

  1. Jacob Lesley
    @cosmiccharliethe only problem I see for myself is that I will only accept 100% recovery that is how I am.. will be frustrated by any symptom
  2. Jacob Lesley
    @cosmiccharlieOk thats a relieve and how long did the first recovery take?
  3. Jacob Lesley
    @cosmiccharlieamazing man, congrats!!! but the low doses and short drugs history can help me recover 100% isn’t that true without any symptoms
  4. Jacob Lesley
    @cosmiccharliebut I thought you said you recovered the first time?
  5. Jacob Lesley
    @cosmiccharlie I got so much to do and experience! Partying till 27-28 in Amsterdam.. having a great job or having my own real estate that is my financial dream! Getting some girls and eventually find the perfect keeper the best one of all and live with her! Maybe getting some kids who knows, buy a house or live in my fathers house in the most cozy and fun town! Seeing my friends a lot and way more stuff and the best thing of all not think about hppd but sometimes if people bring up hard times you get a flashback and you are like wow my life at 22 year old was a true hell and nightmare but at the end of that year I fully 1000% recovered and started really living and never touched anything... and afterwards forget the conversation and life on just living
  6. Jacob Lesley
    @cosmiccharlie I really don’t want to end like this friend it can’t be.. It shouldn’t be
  7. Jacob Lesley
    @cosmiccharlieI just really hope it is the recovery I expect just feeling 100% the old me without the annoying visuals and visual snow... Cmon I used xtc 4x in 3 years and broke quarter pills in half or smaller because I did not wanted any damage or problems... but look at me now
  8. Jacob Lesley
    @cosmiccharliethankyou so much, I sometimes just have the feeling that this is the end.. that my life ended at 22 and hated drugs was always so careful with it and still got fuc.ked. I just can’t believe it it is so weird. I want to be the normal me the guys who people loves to be around funny, kind, outgoing and not thinking about this disorder.. just want to go to a party and not think about how I feel or how uncomfortable I am in my own skin. Just go to school thinking about the unimportant things the girls, homework, the weekend and not have the disorder feeling showing up everywhere I go.. it follows me and never leaves me.. Just wanted to be that kid/guy again just me. Jacob. Not wanting to feel ashamed of my disorder and feeling proud of me again of the person I am and the great friends I have and smile.. I just want to fully recover again and live like I have never lived before! Disorder disappearing and just travel and work sorry needed this out of my system
  9. Jacob Lesley
    @cosmiccharlie I have such a bad day please can you give me some words that I will recover I need it so much!! I will never give up but sometimes I feel I am slipping because I want to get out of this nightmare... I just want it to end and do normal stuff like I told you... I need words for recovery
  10. Jacob Lesley
    @cosmiccharliesorry did not have notifications turned on, My English is extremely bad so idk.. could be a bit awkward hhahaha
  11. Jacob Lesley
    With enough people we can do something
  12. Jacob Lesley
    Personally I think it has to do with stress, anxiety, emotional problems! And you used the drug and it got 2-5x worse and the hppd or visual snow and derealisation started! That’s was the case for me! I am did mdma 5 times first 3 times nothing wrong 4th time had an enormous amount of stress and not happy used the drug and the derealisation started with a little hppd 5th time same thing had so much emotional stress and not happy and used it again and hppd got elevated!! I am sure it is just a anxiety problem and the reason why it stays for 50% of the people is because they never get to the real problem the stress and anxiety
  13. Jacob Lesley
    There is a cure I am 100% convinced so please react if you want to see this happen
  14. Jacob Lesley
    I am sure it is possible because believe me it is not damage or neuro damage, people get it from cannabis... we should stop scaring people on this platform most of it is bullshit anyway
  15. Jacob Lesley
    Nobody wants to 100% cure?
  16. Jacob Lesley
    Everyone please react so it becomes at the top of the main page!
  17. Jacob Lesley
    Here is more proof!
  18. Jacob Lesley
    Sorry for my english! Not my main language
  19. Jacob Lesley
    We are going to fix this!! I know the cure is close with all the knowledge we have 2021.. some people got it from cannabis believe me that show’s me that damage is non existent. I found a lot of articles that show HPPD is not damage just a little change in brain processing information and we can fix this!
  20. Jacob Lesley
    Let me know what you guys think about it and help to find good doctors or researchers in this field!
  21. Jacob Lesley
    I was thinking there is a Visual Snow Initiative for finding the cure! Why don’t we start our own fund to find the cure? Think about it personally I am willing to put $1000+ into it maybe more if needed because this disorder is a huge burden.. if we have 18000+ members or more willing to donate for their own cure we could help ourselves.. why don’t we give it a shot I mean! What do we have to lose? My expectation is that their is going to be a cure within 10-20 years either way but we could speed up the process by starting our own initiative to find a cure for this disorder! And personally I think there is a cure I am almost sure! We just haven’t find it yet. But we need money for research!
  22. Jacob Lesley
    I don’t but I am curious if anyone wants to try it? If it works I it would be amazing.. to be honest I expect a cure within 20 years but that is my expectation!
  23. Jacob Lesley
    @Hall89 I live in the Netherlands and you? To be honest I really think you will recover because you used Weed, just takes some time with this disorder! I will recover too but I think you have a greater chance because of the weed!
  24. Jacob Lesley
    @cosmiccharlie Ok thankyou for the advice, I will not drink till a feel I am back to my old self maybe it hinders the healing process and a day extra because of drinking is not worth it. I still bought the other supplements you recommended and won’t look for more supplement because of anxiety. Thankyou for all your help and I know I feel recover it will take a while but that’s ok! I believe you that I recover! And I Will
  25. Jacob Lesley
    @Hall89how long do you have the symptoms and from what did you get it? How many times you used?
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