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Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD) Support Forum

cosmiccharlie

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Posts posted by cosmiccharlie

  1. Getting my experience off my chest and seeking advice.

    in Introductions

    Posted

    Hang in there man, you're at the beginning of your journey which you probably don't want to hear but it's the truth.  I ingested similar levels of drugs myself and consider my story one of success.  It's a slow and painful process but it's worth it! It does get better, the brain finds a way and you will rediscover yourself or possibly discover yourself for the first time.  I value my struggles with this disorder because they have made me resilient and certain that there is always hope.  Try not to focus on the condition, just put yourself in a position to recover and maybe check in on how you're feeling once a month.  I remember trying to determine whether my visual symptoms or DR/DP had changed from day to day or week to week and the truth is it's almost impossible to tell.  For me it was a waste of time and only generated anxiety.  Time will be your best friend, if you stay off drugs you will see improvement on a scale of months and dramatic improvement on the scale of years.  Feel free to PM me if you'd like to chat on WhatsApp or Zoom.  

    I wish you the best,

    Nick 

    • Like 1
    • Upvote 1

  2. Support group?

    in MAIN AND GENERAL FORUM

    Posted

    I have stopped the recurring meeting since I haven't had any attendance yet.  I know people are busy and in different (some widely different) timezones. Please post here or PM me to set up a meeting on Zoom if you'd like.  No pressure, I do think it can be useful to see some faces and get to know each other and ultimately share our recovery stories which will help each of us and the newcomer.  

  3. My 1V-LSD Story with unhappy end

    in Introductions

    Posted

    Hi, I'm sorry to hear about your struggles.  For me and many on here, time is the best medicine for a return to normalcy.  I have not experienced the childhood images or emotions that you mention but I'm sure they can be difficult and perhaps distressing.  My advice to you is to not asses your condition too frequently.  You have only a few months since the onset, try and give yourself at least 6 months before really looking at your condition.  In the meantime, try to live the best life you can. Eat well, exercise (even if it exacerbates the symptoms), get as much sleep as you can.  Most importantly, try not to focus on it!  It's there, so what?  The more time and energy you give it the more powerful it can become.  Know that you are trying to recover and be proud of that, there's no where to go but up.  Hang in there. 

    Take Care,

    Nick 

  5. How to stay alive?

    in MAIN AND GENERAL FORUM

    Posted

    I am also here to talk.  Many of us have made it through extremely difficult times, try to find some hope.  For me, life is beautiful today and I wouldn't trade my path for anything else.  The trials have made me more resilient and I consider them an asset now.  Hang in there. DM me if you would like to speak on WhatsApp

  8. Support group?

    in MAIN AND GENERAL FORUM

    Posted

    Sorry for the delay.  It seems a common time of Friday 9am EST will work with the given timezones.  Please let me know if this seriously conflicts with anyone schedule.  We can start this coming Friday June 24 if you like.  I will post a Zoom link on this page in the coming days. 

     

  11. what is the SSRI / Dopamine drug least likely to make symptoms worse?

    in Medications & Other Treatments

    Posted · Edited by cosmiccharlie

    I hesitate to give any kind of medical advice here since I am not a doctor.  I will tell you, for me Zoloft (Sertraline) has been extremely helpful for me in dealing with anxiety, depression and OCD.  Everyone is different on some level, responds differently and seems to have their own flavor of HPPD. Consult with your doctor and do what your gut says is the best advice I can give.  So little is known about this condition that an accurate and definitive answer probably can't be obtained yet.  

  14. HPPD after a year after Acid trip?

    in Symptoms: Descriptions, Discussion, Debate

    Posted

    Hello, 

    Try to relax and take things as they come.  You're doing exactly what you need to with regard to stopping drug use.  Here are some suggestions that helped me in the beginning and continue to help me today. 

    1. Exercise as much as you can, even if your symptoms get worse. 

    2. Eat healthy and balanced meals. 

    3. Sleep as much as possible.

    4. Limit caffeine intake. 

    5. Stop all drugs including alcohol (at least for a time) and especially weed (at least until things get better) 

    6. Try not worry, stay busy to distract your mind with things such as work/school or hobbies. 

    7. Learn to meditate and if you are open to it, ask God to help you.  You don't even have to believe in anything, I did not and it helped me. 

    I colored number 6 in red because it's so important.  I am a firm believer that our minds create a lot of the suffering from HPPD.  One thing that has helped me is not turning away from it.  Not being scared, just noticing it.  Acknowledging it as neither good nor bad, it's just there and it will change (as all things inevitably do).  I have found deep and stable happiness in sobriety whilst having HPPD and I wouldn't trade it for anything.  HPPD helped me to get where I am today which is: a father of two, successful marriage, mathematics PhD student with 2 years left and a lover of life.  The suffering I endured from this disorder helped create the life I have now and I am grateful for that. 

    Hang in there and keep reaching out!

    Take Care,

    Nick 

  16. Can the visual snow actually go away?

    in Symptoms: Descriptions, Discussion, Debate

    Posted

    I put my body and mind in the best condition I could so they could heal.  I tell everyone the same thing: 

    • Exercise as much as you can, even if your symptoms get worse. 

    • Eat healthy and balanced meals. 

    • Get a healthy amount of sleep 

    • Limit caffeine intake. 

    • Stop all drugs including alcohol (at least for a time) and especially weed (at least until things get better) 

    • Try not worry, stay busy to distract your mind with things such as work/school or hobbies. 

    • Learn to meditate and if you are open to it, ask God to help you.  You don't even have to believe in anything, I did not and it helped me. 

    The above will of course help you but it doesn't have to be followed 100%.  For me, finding the right balance of healthy living and enjoying myself allowed me to move past HPPD.  Eventually the visuals lessoned as did my anxiety about them.  These days I barely think about the condition.  My visuals will probably never go away because of the quantity of LSD I did but I am okay with that.  I have a family; wife and two beautiful kids.  I am pursuing a PhD in mathematics at reputable university where I teach and do mathematical research.  Life is wonderful for me today and recovering from this disorder provided me with the feeling that I can endure anything so long as I remain hopeful and grateful.  Hang in there and keep on reaching out. 

    Take Care,

    Nick 

    • Like 1

  17. Can the visual snow actually go away?

    in Symptoms: Descriptions, Discussion, Debate

    Posted

    On 5/1/2022 at 1:42 AM, Hall89 said:

    I don't want to be the bringer of bad news, but no, the symptoms that's caused by our brains reduced ability to filter out unnecessary visual stimuli, like the ones you mentioned, is almost certainly permanent.

    What is this based on?  Please don't diminish people's hope on this forum, we are here to offer support and strength.  My symptoms have greatly diminished over time and I currently lead a happy, productive joy filled life.  

    • Like 2

  18. First shroom trip had 5 days experience following, then okay, and now a reoccurrence 3 weeks later - what to expect next?

    in Introductions

    Posted

    I share the same sentiments as Jay and will only add that exercise was a big help to me early on, even if it makes the symptoms worse.  Overtime, meditation became a primary tool for recovery and mental stability.   Unfortunately the only real way to deal with such situations is to endure them, it will get better and she will likely make a full recovery.  I'm not a doctor but I am someone who has been in fairly dark places as a result of this disorder and now lead a happy, fulfilling and successful life.  I have a family, plenty of hobbies and am working towards a PhD in mathematics.  If I can make it through so can she.

    DM me if you'd like to discuss further.  

    Take Care,

    Nick 

    • Like 1

  20. Long time gone

    in MAIN AND GENERAL FORUM

    Posted

    11 hours ago, Akshay said:

    Hey guys, I am in India and not sure what to do ? Can you guys planning take 5 min of your time to talk to me about my symptoms

    Hello, 

    I would be willing to talk.  You can direct message me or we can speak on WhatsApp.

    Take Care,

    Nick 

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